OK, now Im annoyed!

[NotAlone (previously Alone]

My body must be playing me a game! Im having the third(!!!) ob in four weeks! Right now Im not feeling sorry for my self, Im just plain pissed off! And NO, its not getting any milder as time goes by, its just been escalating every time! (had it for nine months now!) Im taking vitamines, working out, eating healthy.. I think about it some, but mostly when Im having a ob.. what is going on??

Started zovirax today, hopefully the littel beast will climb back in its cave :)

 

So, to put my mind in ease, this weekend I've desided to forgett its eaven there end go have a funweekend whit my girlfriends!

So fed up right now.. GAH!!

 

Wish you all a good weekend!

 

Hugs :)

[Shannon (SingBlueSilver)]

I'm sorry! I think the medication will work though. I've been on it and I don't get episodes...though I do often feel like I have a bladder infection. Weird. This all sucks but we're all in the same boat! You are NOT Alone, Alone! :-)

[TheFoundOne]

Hi Alone!! SingBlueSilver is right we're all in the same boat and yes boy oh boy does it SUCK! I'm new to H and going through my first outbreak and wow, never felt so shitty in my life! i'm on zovirax too so i'm hoping it's as good as my dr says it is. I'm really sorry you're suffering with so many outbreaks hun :( i really hope the zovirax works quick and you feel better SOON. Good thing you're going out with your girlfriends :) go have lots of fun and forget!! I really think psychology plays a big part on H. My dr even told me just get on as normal and try not to think about it ( easier said than done i know lol) but you know what? FUCK H! let's not let it control US. Let's not give it that power. If H was infront of me id tell it to go fuck itself lol I'm super pissed off myself cause i had a shit day with H so i TOTALLY understand where you're coming from. You are not alone at all because EVERY SINGLE PERSON HERE can relate , never think you are alone. We're one big family :) I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel with 3 outbreaks in a short period of time but i agree with you, go out and have fun and just push it to the back of your mind. Wishing you a great and happy weekend. Sending you love and hugs and i hope you feel better SOON!! xxxx

[lelani]

I know just how you feel Alone...had the same for 5 months, one after the other. Now looking back it would have been way easier to just have accepted my body was busy building up immunity to it and to trust that it would get better. I would get upset, think that this was my life forever, and just be pissed off. But it did get better and I am thankful every day i feel healthy!

 

I didn't take medication, personal choice, and used diet, meditation etc to heal. Best affirmation was "My body is continually healing even when I have an episode". And maybe medication is right for you now...hell you have given it a good shot without it! I think I would have by then too. Yeah go out and have a good time...and just tell it to go to sleep (over and over again!!) :-) x

[mr_hopp]

Now that it's a few weeks later, how are you doing now, Alone? Just so you know, the vast majority of stories I've heard, regardless of how often/severe the first outbreaks are, within the first 6 months the body's antibodies take over the virus and have it under control. From there on out, outbreaks get less and less severe and frequent.

[NotAlone (previously Alone]

Hi Adrial!

Well, Im symptomefree right now.. Took the meds an have been for about one week now. The last one really wore me out mentally an my mind keeps spinning around the thought that I will have another one like that! God forbid!?! At the same time I keep telling my self not to worry about it, keep my self busy whit school, work, working out and being with friend :-) I've cut down on the partying/alcohol, as it seems to be a trigget, and I eat healthy.

 

I finally have a doctor that really supportes me and understands, so he is helping out alot on every aspect. I do have my dark momenst, but the stronger ME keeps draging me out of the hole and telling me to think positiv.

 

I'm Ok, and I will be for the rest of my life. I just need to accept it!

 

Thank you for asking, and i hope you are good to :-)

 

 

[NotAlone (previously Alone]

And thank you everyone for kind words :-) I'm loving this community! And btw, boy did I have a fun weekend with my girls ;-) one of them knows my situation, and it really helps having someone who knows why I act in a certain way and I can talk to when it is needed :-) I do also call my mom when I need someone to cry to, and she is awesome :x ... my rock in life!

 

Thanks again, I'm so happy to be a part of this, and the happiness keeps on growing every day :-)

 

Big hugs!

[lelani]

Great big hugs back alone...maybe its time to change your name to Notalone...??? You really aren't and I am glad you know this now. I knew your body would get into the swing of dealing with H...sometimes it takes a while and it seems like it is going on forever! Stay in tune with that stronger you...its always there even in our darkest moments...actually thats when you can make it shine - just look at H as giving you the opportunity to find it and sparkle in spite of it :-) That is true character.. x

 

[mr_hopp]

FYI, I took the hint from our community and renamed you NotAlone. I hope you don't mind. I wonder how this new name might impact how you experience your world? ;) Let's think of this as a fun experiment in naming. Much love, NotAlone! ;)

[NotAlone (previously Alone]

I was thinking about changing it, so thank you for doing it for me Adrial, I'm totally OK with it now :-) looks good i must say!

 

Lelani, I've just been so upset because everyone is telling me it gets better, but in my case it really has not. It started out with just 2 small bums, from there on it just got more and more for every time. By the end of the summer i could hardly sit while having a ob. And now this last one, one overlaping another in a period of 4 weeks! Its been 7 months since i was diagnosed! I wantet to screem so loud, and at the same time just stay in bed doing nothing!

 

But now, up and running, positive and making value of my day:-) much thanks to you guys! :-)

Skin condition, hell yeah! It just has the no.2 instead of no.1 at the end and a different location. And do we run in the other direction because someone has a ob on their lip? NO!

Huge hugs :-)

[lelani]

I had my constant episodes over the summer too - not a good time! Mine overlapped so much it was like one long one for 6 months. I ended up using two affirmations constantly...like ALL the time day and night! "My body is continually healing itself even when i am having an outbreak" and "My body is healed an my viruses are sleeping" - might sound crazy but i couldn't think of anything else to do to stop me being upset and scared that I would have symptoms forever! I still think of them (I have both HSV1 and high risk HPV) as sleeping and thank the universe every day that they are (I found it easy to imagine them tucked away in a dark place lol!).

 

I love the 'up and running and making value of my day' I do the same thing! And yaya for the name change! :-) x

[NotAlone (previously Alone]

Lelani, what a wonderful person you are, being able to have so much positive energy despite bouth your "problems". I do belive H bothers us so much mainly because we are afraid of being rejected when disclosing to someone. I know it stresses me out! And if so, that the person will spread the word! (I'm a smalltown girl) Well, just wanted to say that i have disclosed to two guys, one who was my best friend and developed feelings for me, (we remained just friends, even though HE wanted more despite the H) and one who i met this summer. The summer fling has been working on ER ambulance for several years. I told him and he just said "so, it's no big deal, really". He also insisted that we have unprotected sex, and we did. It didn't go any further with him, but as far as we know, he was not infected and we are still friends:-) It makes me confident that all will be good, for all of us :-)

 

The name is nice, I like it :-)

[mr_hopp]

Hey NotAlone!

 

Great job on the disclosing! Definitely shows that there are plenty of people out there who aren't caught up in the stigma and shame of herpes.

 

And when you had unprotected sex with your fling, did you make sure he got tested first? We sometimes forget that other people can have STDs that WE can get once we have herpes. And how do you feel using the word "infected"? When I read that, I cringed ... The power of words is huge!

[NotAlone (previously Alone]

Adrial, yes I absolutely did make sure of that! Asked him how his current situation was down there was, and he told me he just got tested and that it came back clean, and had not been with anyone after getting tested.. Did not see it in back and white, but I knew him from before so I trusted him!

 

How do I think of the word "infected".. Maby not the best word to use, but honestly I wasn't paying any attention to it.. And maybe my lack of words made me land on that one (I'm norwegian). But no, I do not feel like a Zombie that will make other people become one if I "bite." So I totally understand where you are coming from! I'm sorry I made you cringe, and hope you forgive my bad choise of word :-) please read between the fingers on my choise of words when you read my comments, as said, I'm literally from the top of the world :-)

[mr_hopp]

I'm glad you made sure of that beforehand! Ironic how getting herpes can actually make us that much more aware of our own health in general. Something tells me that having sex with a person who knows they have herpes is more safe than having sex with someone who is in denial about their sexual health.

 

lol, no need to apologize about my cringing. :) Just call me the Awareness Police! *whips out official-looking badge* ;) The words we use have an effect on how we experience our world and our situations. So "infect with herpes" vs. "get herpes" has a very different feeling associated with them even though they ultimately are referring to the same thing. I've found that the quality of our words actually points to the quality of the thoughts we're thinking.

[NotAlone (previously Alone]

I think so to! The only thing I think of now is keeping myself and a potensial other safe :-) (do not have anyone right now, but if/when I do)

 

Awareness police, Jez indeed you are :-) lol. I will definetly keep that In my mind for my self and other reading this :-)