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Just found out I have herpes. My partner had no idea he was a carrier. Do you have any experience with both people being H+? Can we still have a normal, sexual relationship? What about having kids in the future? I am nervous that will not be able to have a traditional sexual relationship and never be able to have a family.



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First - Hello and Welcome ..


So, how are you sure your partner is a carrier? And which H do you have, Hsv1 or 2?


We need a bit more detail in order to help you with your particular situation.


What I CAN tell you from what you have said is, yes, you CAN have a normal sex life - there may be a few things you do a little differently but of course we have normal sex lives with H!


And having kids? OF COURSE! I have 2 beautiful grown daughters - both H- in spite of having H in the 80's when we had FAR less support and info than we do now. The only difference is your OBGYN will put you on anti-virals for the last month and they will monitor you for signs of an OB. The majority will be just fine ... worst case scenario is you will have an OB right before delivery and you will have a Cesarean so the baby doesn't get it.


Hope this helps you to feel a bit better.... give us more info and we will be able to help you more :)



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Assuming you and your partner have the same HSV (i.e. 1, 2, or both) then absolutely, you can shag away without any worries in the world. You can have as normal a sex life as you want. Once a day, twice a day, 14 times a day. As much as you want. Heck, even if you don't have the same HSV strains, you can shag away. This virus doesn't need to stop you from having sex.


Can you have kids? Absolutely. There are some precautions you'll need to take when that time comes, but honestly, doctors are pretty darn good at preventing neonatal transmission, and the only real risk comes as the baby passes through the birth canal. So, relax, light the candles, put on the Tom Jones, disconnect the phone, put the dog out, draw the blinds, brush your teeth, pull the sheets back, and, well, you figure out the rest.



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My wife and I are both H+, and as the previous poster said you can shag at will. The only exception being during an outbreak. Herpes and friction are mortal enemies.


We have had two daughters together and herpes was never a factor in either delivery. The oldest came vaginally, eyes wide open. An amazing sight I shall never forget. The youngest came by way of C section. Not because of H, but because she was folded in half with her head between her feet. No way was she coming the old fashioned way. In hind sight it was also a sign of the contrarian person she can be. She is every last bit a teenager now.


Fear not, life can proceed as usual.

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