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Very new to having herpes and afraid!

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Hello everyone!

I was recently diagnosed in August! I did not know what was going on with my body. I was terrified of what I had. I went to urgent care and later found out that it was herpes. I cried so much I couldn't believe that I encountered this in curable std. I'm still not sure where or who gave it to me. My bf of 6 years and I broke up for a few months and recently got back together a little before I was diagnosed. I didn't know what I had and I gave it to him. We both had symptoms around the same time but mine were worse then his. The reason why I am assuming I gave it to him was because I was the only one that was with someone else during our break.


I still have some sort of a denial that I have herpes and think my bf gave it me instead. But he has been very supportive through out all of this. Last week he had an outbreak an he gave me a guilt trip about me being with someone else and about me giving him this horrible disease... I cried all night after this ordeal he has been so supportive and now making me feel alone about this and then he acted this way towards me.


He later felt bad about it and apologized and really wants to have a future with me. Get married have kids and I want that more then Anything! My biggest fear is me passing this to my children and I want to have children someday!!! My other fear is that my bf will always give me a guilt trip for as long as I live!


I want to be apart of this community because at times I do feel alone like no one understands the feeling of having this. I don't feel normal anymore. At times I wish I could turn back time and have done things differently.


On the outside I am great and happy but on the inside I am driving myself crazy. I am hurt and so afraid of how my life will turn out. For awhile I have been paranoid that I am going to spread this to other parts of my body. Is it possible? Am I just paranoid?


No one knows but my bf and my grandmother.

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I had a child the good ole fashion way and did not pass it to him. As long as your not pregnant when you contract H and you don't have an active ob when you are giving birth then your child will more then likely be ok. If you take antivirals and things to minimize shedding there is a very low chance you will give this to a baby. Babies born to mothers with preexisting herpes also pass temporary immunity to their kids. There is always a chance but it is very small. I had one child vaginally and I wil choose to have my others by c section. For the first 6 months of my sons life I had panic attacks whenever he has a rash, I can not go thru that again. When you and your mate are ready to have kids just arm yourself with as much knowledge as possible!



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Hi M...glad you posted and please know you aren't alone. We all support each other, especially when the going is tough. I'm sorry you are going through this with your man ... you both need support and it will be hard to give it to each other.


He is having to deal with it too...sad that he laid the guilt on. Don't take it on board..you didn't know so there is NOTHING to feel guilty about. It's lovely that he came back and apologised, now you both have to work through feelings. If he can't give up blame and you can't let go of feeling guilty then it will be really difficult to stay together and connected.


Have you got type 1 or 2? Either way don't freak out about spreading it. Just wash you hands like usual. I worried too and I think its needless, just makes us unhappier and more anxious (which isn't good for H!). As for passing it on to any babies...Kaande's advice is right :-).


Once your body settles down and you realise that life goes on with H and it really isn't a horrible disease, just an annoying skin condition - you will feel better. I wish you every good thing with your relationship, I know it will be hard right now but if you can both understand each other and really want to be together love can overcome this.


Your life is going to turn out fine...be the best person you can be (another one of Kannde's wonderful pearls of wisdom ;-) ) and you will find there are also gifts that come with H. Big hug. x

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Thank you so much lelani!! Your comment almost made me cry.. :( but its something I needed to hear. Well as far as what I have, I'm not sure but it is genital but not sure which type.


I really do want to get to that point where life goes on and the outbreak will be minimal. As of now everything is great with my bf and I know everything will be ok.


Right now I'm going through a mild outbreak which is annoying because I just finished one before this. My doctor prescribed me antivirals but I'm not sure if its working. My outbreak is not hurting or bothering me and its small but I know it's there.


Do you know what may be going on?

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Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I have had H for 26 years and have given birth naturally (no c-section) to two children. I had H for several years prior to having children, and had even had an OB during pregnancy. My doctors never reacted as though it was any big concern and both of my children were born fine and still are 18 years later. Even with H you can still fulfill your dreams of having children. Being aware of your body and in the event of an OB, there is always the option of a c-section to protect the baby from contact.


For me, I find that the emotions around H ebb and flow - mainly depending upon how many episodes I am dealing with. Best thing is to keep it in proper perspective, keep your thoughts positive and take care of you.


I wish you the best as you make your way through this and into all the good that your future holds for you. Take care! :)

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