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thisisme

So new to having herpes. When does it get easier?

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Three weeks ago i was diagnosed with HSV-2. At first i thought all was lost and instantly went into depression mode. Then things started to get a little better. the medicine worked and i was finally starting to feel normal again and that next morning i woke up and things weren't so normal anymore. Not only was i dealing with an initial outbreak but now the doctor has given me antibiotics and is causing other issues. Just as all is getting worse i think i noticed another outbreak... which i don't exactly know what to expect with the second one. Could it just be one lesion? I know this is not the end of the world but for some reason i just cant stop crying. When and how does this get easier?

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Welcome thisisme...I just want to reassure you it will get easier and all is not lost. I have had this for a year now and have no symptoms anymore, I may have them again but I know how to deal with it now. Your body is trying to work out how to deal with this virus so you may have a while of uncomfortable and annoying symptoms that come and go quite often.

 

I had constant episodes for about 5 months and wondered if it would ever end and then poof! All symptoms disappeared and haven't come back (other that a couple of times I 'thought' I had them but it came to nothing).

 

And I cried and cried too...your physical body is doing a lot of work to heal itself and get on top of H and your emotional 'body' is also doing a lot of work to come to terms with what it means to live with this virus. It's normal and look at it as a release. Do you have someone to talk to about it?

 

Just look after yourself, eat well, rest and for every negative thought reframe it to a positive one (not easy but worth the effort). When I was having constant episodes all I could think us was "My body is continually healing itself even when symptoms are present" - I said it over and over again every day and imagined myself happy and healthy - it was better than my self pity trip!

 

I'm glad you posted...there will be other awesome people on here who will reach out and support you too. So take care and know your body will get on top of it. Big hug. xx

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Hi im Mariah I'm 18 just found out I have herpes it's taking everything I got to post right now can't seem to stop crying scared to tell my parents I feel all along never in a million yrs would I think I would have herpes......plz I need friends n help I'm in deep depression....too many tears to stop them from falling I wish I would have been smarter about having sex I blame myself 4 being young and thirsty to be the 1st out my friends to be with this guy now I know y my parents use to tell me everything that looks good isn't all ways good huh plz feel free to talk 2 me all welcome

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Mariah I'm so glad you posted here...I'm sending as many hugs as you have tears. Don' t blame yourself for being young, we all make decisions when we are young that we wish we didn't. Honey it isn't the end of the world even though right now it feels like it is, it really is a minor skin condition that is no more than sometimes uncomfortable and annoying as time passes. I have had it for a year and felt like you do now when I was first diagnosed (I had to tell my adult kids...have to say that was harder that anything I ever had to tell my parents!!)

 

Do you have anyone you can talk to? I know you are scared to tell your parents...but I'm a mother and would always want my kids to come to me if they are so scared and upset. If you can call Adrial then do it because I know you will feel 100 times better if you do.

 

It's a great community here and we all help each other with this...you aren't alone :-) x

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It does get easier! Everyones body and immune system are different, so unfortunately there is no easy answer to give people to when exactly that is... but be assured it will. Im only 4-5 months in but i think by 6 months you'll definitely have a better idea of what your out breakouts will be like, severity, and how to avoid them. In the meantime as lelani said take this opportunity to take care of yourself physically and mentally. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, love yourself and remember this can happen to anyone! Young, old, sexually active, or someone having sex for the first time. Millions and millions of people have this "skin condition", which is why its so commonly spread, so never feel you are alone.

 

At first it is a scary experience to go through, but it will get easier... Especially the more you realize how common it is in our society. These challenges only make us even stronger people in the end too. Remember you always have a support system in this community with people that know exactly what you're going through and will always be here for you :)

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@thisisme, I've had HSV-2 coming on 2 years this November 7th, I went for a check up bec I was having some discomfort.. So when I went to the doctor she said im going to test u for herpes and I was like umm yeah ok... So she called me back and said u have herpes.. I couldn't believe it and it didn't hit me till the next day... I cried so much and what's crazy is that she didn't even give me anything so I made another apt on nov 8th and another doctor put me on some antibiotics for a couple weeks well with that medication I was puking and couldn't eat it was so strong that I made another apt with another doctor (my obgyn) and he said since ur taking it bad and are very emotional I'm going to put u on valtrex once a day... So I started taking it, As time went I started listening 2 my body and writing down n my phone when I felt a certain way.. I've notice that the inside of my leg/thigh I would get tingly paid and it would hurt...---> (prodome- The state or set of symptoms that precede a Herpes outbreak. The first sign of an upcoming occurrence, prodrome can occur from 30 minutes to a few days prior to an outbreak. Prodrome may include tingling, itching, and/or burning sensations at the site of impending outbreak, and/or shooting pains, numbness, aches, or other sensations in the lower back, buttocks, or thighs (in genital infections). So needs to say I always listen to my body.. When I feel these symptoms I take my valtrex for a couple days but on a regular I don't take medication but that's my choice. I promise u that things will get better n time, 2 me crying always made me feel better, if you need anything I'm here for u.

 

@Mariah idk how close u are with ur parents, but the day I told my mother it felt like so much weight was lifted off of me. I told my mother on thanksgiving day in 2010... I wasn't eating much and she made a big meal... She had an idea that something was wrong so after dinner I had the talk with her and after I told her what happen she hugged me and said well I'm here for u and yes she did say u should hve been more carful just like all mothers would say. That was the best thing I could have done, when I was a child and I would get hurt I always needed my mommy and she would come and comfort me and take care of me so that's what she did, she was there for me and supported me and still does :). If u need anything I'm here for u.

 

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@Mariah I agree with Elle on the whole parent thing. If you are close to you parents, tell them. My mother is my best friend and I tell her everything. She was the first person I called even before my current partner. When I told her about my diagnosis she told me she has it too! (Not hsv2 like me, but hsv1 genitally) There are some parents out there that are absolutely heartless and judgemental even of their kids, but the thing about most parents is they are still very proud of you no matter what.

 

I know you feel ashamed, but shame is an extremely self destructive feeling. Girl, you have herpes, why put yourself through MORE torture than the physical side effects of the virus? You are beautiful and there is one person that will always think youre absolutely wonderful and thats Mom. Do you think she would trade you for another daughter that doesn't have herpes? Hell no. You're her baby girl and probably one of the most beautiful things in the world to her because she made you.

 

With a fresh diagnosis, you need someone you can tell that loves you unconditionally. It will help with the shame to know that you arent the virus and your family still loves you, not your actions, not your mistakes or accomplishments.

 

Mom is always there to answer the phone and you need that right now. I was calling my mommy 3 times a day crying about my diagnosis after i got the call. She always answered and she always "talked me off the ledge" (not in a suicidal way) and brought me back to reality.

 

Call your mom. Cry. Say it out loud. Dont run from your feelings and yourself. Face them head on with the determination, strength and stubbornness us girls are made of. Rid yourself of that shame. It eats at your heart and makes you your own worst enemy when you need an ally in yourself the most.

 

Good luck and much love!

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@Mariah, I am not close with my mom, never share anything personal with her, but I was around her when I couldn't think of anything else but Herpes and all of my relationships going wrong. So I ended up telling her and it was actually one of the least uncomfortable things I have ever shared with her. Even if you don't have a sharing relationship with your parents, its still part of being a parent to love and want to protect your children. For me it helped to share the burden I felt at the time, and I think especially with someone whose responsibility it has been to care for me. I have always felt my parents have had high expectations for me and especially wouldn't want to share something they might "disapprove" of, but when it comes down to it, they should be expecting mistakes (we are young!) and will always be on your side.

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