getting more comfortable with herpes disclosures

[VirgoGirl]

I have had hsv2 for 4 months now, and ever since getting involved with the Herpes Shamelessness movement thread on here and talking to other people about our willingness to disclose to others, I have been doing it more and more.

 

Lately, when I go out, I find myself wanting to tell more of my friends just to get it off my chest. I only tell friends I feel I can completely trust at the moment, who I know don't like to gossip. And every time I disclose to them, it makes me feel better and it opens their eyes too. I tell them the stats I read. I also tell them to make sure to be safe when they have sex. I feel like a safe sex advocate now! after confiding to friends, they have thanked me saying they are glad to be more aware. They also stick up anytime anyone says a herpes joke!! Now that they know a friend with it, it affects them too.

 

So, last weekend I told 2 friends, and felt better after each one. Then for some reason, I had the courage to tell a guy friend of mine, who I didnt really know for very long ( but even admited to him I have a crush on him too!) I am not quite sure what compelled me to tell him but I just came out and said it with no fear. I told him the stats, that a quarter of the population has it and 80% of the people who do, dont even know they had. I also told him I've come to terms with the fact and it hasnt affected my physically at all. I'm still the exact same person I was 5 minutes ago, before i told you. I still can't believe I told a guy I had a crush on that I had it, even though we had no intention of sleeping together. He didn't really say anything after. Was probably just wondering why I was even telling him! haha

 

But the good news is, the next night, I saw him again when I went out. We ended up going back to my friends after, then he walked me to my place at the end of the night. I invited him up, and things got heated, and we ended up making out. He didn't even bring up anything I told him last night. It was a very magical night and he made me feel totally wanted! Woke up the next morning, made breakfast and watched a movie.

 

And now I realize I am so glad that I had that conversation with him already because it allowed me to be myself when I was kissing him with no black cloud over my shoulder. I had already got it done and over with.

 

funny how things work out, eh?

[lively]

Wow Virgo Girl, that's totally outstanding! how excellent for you and for him! I'm so thrilled for you, just as you thought you were 'getting close to disclosing' you actually did it and almost didn't notice! wherever this association with this particular guy goes, you have taken enormous steps already. I'm so very proud for you, look in the mirror and admire yourself girl!

[mr_hopp]

[this was posted by Lelani on a duplicated thread]

 

I love love love this virgo girl!...yeah disclosing isn't so hard when you decide to do it and let go and be open. I'm open with my friends and people I meet who I feel a connection with and who I feel I can trust....and they have been the same in their reactions. It comes up in conversation more than once after that and they want to know more and are so glad I talked to them about it.

 

I go through times when it is harder to tell but mostly I am pretty ok about it...I do consider my kids, as we are well known so I am careful with who I talk about it. I used to think that that was about my shame but its more their privacy and I respect that.

 

I'm so glad you had a magical night, that you had the courage to be authentic. And I think its just bloody fantastic how its worked for you!!!!!!! xxxxx