Feelings and questions

[Dssiamond]

I am still in disbelief. Last week I was fine and now my life has changed forever. I've been crying day and night. I'm surprised I even have tears left. I am in utter shock this is my life and I don't think I will ever be able to be okay with the fact that I have herpes.... I've read so many discussions and great positive people assuring it will get better but I just don't see it, unless the day comes that they find a cure. I'm do lonely the only person that knows us the person I contracted it from and it will more than likely stay that way. I don't want to date, have kids or even go on with my day... I am dreading tommorrow I am going to get checked out so it can be confirmed I have herpes.... I know I'll cry and I know it'll be hard now that I was able to express that this out break is killing me. I am in so much pain. It hurts to walk, sit, basically do anything. I have an extremely bad BO I'm sure I caused it to spread, prior to me realizing I had herpes I touched my BO and touched other areas of my genitals unaware I was spreading it. The first BO was right on my anus. It is an absolute nightmare when I have to use the restroom it is so painful that I'm praying I get stopped up. It doesn't hurt to pee though since the is no ob in that area. And the amount of discharge I am experiencing is unbearable. It's so much I feel as if I'm starting my cycle but I'm not just discharge. Will it always be like that even when I go seek medical attention Tomm and they prescribe me with what's needed? Please I need ways to help cope with the pain, discharge, and my mental breakdown I'm on the verge of having!

[myfiercecalm]

Hi, I know everything feels insane right now. I have to tell you it's not as bad as it seems by any stretch of the imagination. IT WILL GET BETTER (and I'm not just saying that, it really does). You just have to let yourself experience the emotional and physical pain and forgive yourself. That last part is critical. We all have trouble with it at times I think for all kinds of things, not just herpes. You are human, you made a mistake, we all do. It doesn't make you a bad person. I know you don't feel like you'll be ok with it; I didn't either when I found out. Please don't be so hard on yourself, you deserve to be happy. It sounds like you haven't been tested yet, so don't jump to conclusions. There are any number of skin conditions that are similar to herpes. And yes, if it is herpes, they will be able to prescribe what are called suppressants to help with your OBs. The first OB is usually the worst, and some people never have OBs at all or very infrequently. H is different for everyone though, you just have to give your body time to see how to best take care of it.

 

OK, here's your homework tonight:

 

This is a good one for some hard facts once you are feeling a little better.

 

Finally, to really beat the H demons down, watch what happens when Cicily comes out of the H closet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMiC6shObs8

 

OK, that's a lot of info, so let us know how you are doing and any other questions that come to mind. Good luck with your appointment!

 

[whitedaisies]

Ok...big hug to you. This part is really scary and this will likely be your worst outbreak; outbreaks tend to get less severe and come less often.

 

Good you are going to the doc...make sure he swabs the sores and doesn't just give you a visual diagnosis. Also get them to do a blood test for ya, k?

 

As for going to the bathroom; try having the doctor perscribe you a stool softener...that may be an OTC drug...don't know...I remember when I had my babies, they gave me that post delivery.

 

Also, get the antiviral meds; have him give you a few perscriptions in case you have a subsequent outbreak.

 

As for the pain, there is a cream they can give you to numb the pain....always forget the name; also try tylenol or advil for now til you see the doc.

 

Keep the area clean and dry. It is recommended to take epsom salt baths to dry out the area so outbreaks heal quicker then use a blow dryer on cool to dry everything.

 

Someone on here mentioned lying down with a cool fan helps.

 

As for the emotional stuff.....I was where you are 8 months ago and still have my bad days...but you will get used to this and you will be ok. Right now take it hour by hour and don't look to the future at all...it is too daunting right now and your head is in no place to be rational. No judgment...just sayiing from experience. I still live hour to hour now and I like it that way better....I don't have everyting planned and it gets me to do some things I wouldn't otherwise do which sometimes is a good thing.

 

Big hugs to you...it will get better....I started therapy to help cope and went on antidepressants...you can talk to your doc about that too...he can recommend something.

 

You will be ok....this is new to you.

 

Good luck!

[Dssiamond]

No I haven't been tested yet but every symptom of herpes I have my on Lola just like pictures, spreaded to every area I touched, had flu like symptoms, random aches that hurt like hell as well and the sires are painful and uncomfortable. I tried to tell myself it may be something else as well but I don't want to get my hopes up I'm like 100% positive I have herpes. Tomm will be so embarrassing for me but thank you for your kind words myfiercecalm

[Dssiamond]

Thank you for all the advice whitedaisies I will def kept all that in mind when I get tested Tomm. You all are a great help

[WCSDancer2010]

@Dssiamond

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

Make sure you check out those vids above... especially the first one... and don't be embarrassed.... Dr's deal with this EVERY DAY! 15-20% of the population has Genital H ... GET THAT - one in 5 or 6 of all people you meet has it! So you are FAR from alone.

 

I'm out of town, having to keep my posts short but thankfully many on here are chipping in this week. Check these posts out, as well as the Success Stories and the Inspirational quotes. Get educated. Read all you can here. We're here for you!

 

(((HUGS)))

 

FAQs:

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1758/frequently-asked-questions-on-herpes-and-popular-conversations

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3296/this-is-water-this-is-water- Choice