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JC81

Herpes Results Blues

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Just a simple phone call changed my life. Yesterday, my genital herpes results came back and I'm positive. I only had 1 sore. Who would have thought? I've been going through feelings of being depressed, anger, betrayal, denial, and sometimes accepting. I'm a mess! I'm trying to find others going through this as well. I know millions have this virus, but why do I feel so alone? Maybe as times passes, I'll be able to become happy again. I think right now, I'm scared.

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Hi JC. I know exactly how you feel. It's been over a month for me. I still have up and down days. You are definitely not alone. This morning I was kind of in my own head, started feeling down but I prayed, did some positive affirmations, I thought about my coworkers birthday, things to distract me; these are what work for me. I know it is very hard. I understand you. I want you to know you are not alone. I came here to his forum and found that I was surely not alone and it has helped me alot. I'm sending you a huge hug!! You are amazing this does not change you. YOU are still YOU!! and you are amazing!!

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Welcome JC! I am so glad you reached out. That is so awesome. You will find an amazing community of people who are here to love and support you through this. I have had herpes for about 9 years but only had the "diagnosis" a year ago. I felt just like you when I found out. It was like the bottom fell out of my world. But you know, a year later, things look a lot different. It's a simple skin condition, just like having a coldsore on your lip. Same thing but it's what we think about it that makes it so much worse. It will be a process for you to come to terms with what it is, what it means to you, how it will change you and change your life. I can tell you from my own experience, that far more good came out of it than negative. I have met so many amazing people, I have taken time for me that I never would have without the diagnosis, I have grown and become far more understanding and accepting of myself and others. I have broken open and come back together so much stronger.

 

You will have good days and bad days, especially at the beginning, but as time goes on, you will realize it's a skin condition and it doesn't define you. Make a list of all the amazing qualities you have, the things you like about yourself. You had those before and after herpes. You are no less amazing. In fact, you are more amazing now.

 

It all takes time. Just be patient with yourself and with the process. It's a grieving process and you can't rush it. But I can tell you that there is definitely good stuff on the other side once you get through that. Reach out as you are to everyone on here. We have all been where you are and are more than happy to hold your hand or cheer you on. :) Welcome to the best club ever!!

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I also know two others with herpes...they don't know I know they have it, but I know. In a strange way, it gives me hopes to be able to reach out to someone close if I ABSOLUTELY needed to. I just can't believe how cool my boyfriend is about this news. My mom told me that a lot of men would have left. I think I have a keeper, which makes things so much better. I just got another dose of Valtrex to have on hand just as a precaution to a breakout before my cycle next week. I'm praying to not have a breakout.

Thanks for all the positive comments! It really keeps my chin up :)

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I feel sad hearing that your mom is perpetuating the stigma by saying that most men would have left. I don't believe that to be true. Of course, it depends on the kind of men you're sampling. ;) If you choose to believe that, what if it doesn't work out with your boyfriend? You'll still be believing that most men would reject you. That's simply not true.

 

The right men for you will accept you. The ones who aren't right for you won't want to risk getting herpes. Plain and simple. AND ... I'm happy for you to be in a loving relationship with an open-minded man. ;) Congrats!


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I was very surprised that my boyfriend stuck with me. I had the same thought, that he would run. But I have come to realize that how I see myself and what I have isn't anything like others see me. If someone really cares about you, they will see you and what you have for what it really is. You mean more than this tiny little thing getting in your way. I'm glad you have someone to stand by you and work through this together. It's not easy, but it doesn't have to be earth shattering either. Just like WhoopsiDaysi said and like the doctor said to me when I was diagnosed, it's only a skin condition. Don't forget that!

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