What a crazy year it's been... And now this. Have to keep my chin up!!

[Chinup]

I guess it's time that I properly introduce myself :-) .. My name is Ashley and I am 28 years old. I have a beautiful daughter, a fulfilling job, an amazing family, and wonderful friends. About a year ago, after 4 years of marriage, my husband and I unfortunately separated. I can honestly say it's been one HELL of an emotional year. I've had my heart broken and the pieces stomped on over and over. Being stressed, vulnerable and depressed, I've made a lot of stupid decisions and put myself in situations I shouldn't have been in. There have been numerous highs and lows, but I was at a point where I just didn't think it could get any worse.. And then BAM!!! Reality check.. Oh, hey strange bump.. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT.. Then the confirmation: you have HSV2. Wow. It really can and does get worse. And at a horrible time.. When my estranged husband and I are *possibly* on a path to reconciliation. I have no idea what my future holds at this point. Will he accept me back like this? Do I even want to bring this "problem" into his life?? Should I just run and hide and waste the rest of my life??? A week into my diagnosis I am obviously going through all of the normal emotions: I'm sad, mad, scared, paranoid, upset, depressed, etc... I am trying my best to live my life as "normal" as I always have. Luckily my first OB was extremely mild and cleared up as soon as I was put on Valtrex. Each day that I've felt "normal" I've felt at a little more peace with this diagnosis. I can honestly say I've never treated my body better. I have been very careful how I fuel and treat my body.. I have started practicing meditation as a relaxation technique... I make sure to drink plenty of water and get an adequate amount of rest.. I have been practicing a lot of positive self talk.. And I have found myself being extremely thankful for so many things: first and foremost, thankful that this "minor skin condition" isn't something WAY worse; thankful that I have a beautiful, amazing, intelligent daughter who I WILL have the pleasure of watching grow up into a wonderful person; thankful for my fulfilling job (and for my EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS performance appraisal this week :-) ); thankful for my amazing friends and family; thankful for my overall good health; thankful to have all of my limbs and all of my senses; thankful for the sun, rain, wind, heat, cold, coffee, yogurt, cookies, YOU NAME IT LOL. I honestly feel that I've learned more about myself and my strength in the last WEEK than I have in the last year. And I think that speaks volumes. I have made a vow that this will NOT define me. It shouldn't define any of us! I am not any different than I was two weeks ago. Tomorrow I start my suppressive therapy and I am hopeful that I am able to continue with these positive vibes and feelings.. I just wanted to share my story this far and thank you all for your stories, advice, and support. This community is absolutely amazing! I am so thankful to have stumbled across this page that first night while researching my new condition! Sorry for the book :-) if anyone's looking for an Hbuddy, let me know!!! :-) Happy Friday, everyone!!! Stay strong, stay positive, and keep that chin up!!!

[mandymoon]

Thank you girk that is much needed im a month in mine and i still have my nights but just like you i have an incredible daughter to keep strong for were are very lucky n im gonna keep on going more and more i would take that offer of n h buddy much needed so if you are too dont be a stranger

[Chinup]

Absolutely, @mandymoon!!!! Please feel free to send me a message anytime! We all need support :-) and yes, we have to stay strong for the kiddos!!! Running around after a 2 year old is exhausting lol! We can't afford to be bedridden, depressed, or upset! Time is passing before our eyes and we don't want to miss out. How old is your daughter?? :-)

[WCSDancer2010]

I have found myself being extremely thankful for so many things:

 

So great to see you seeing the "Positive" side of being positive.

 

And when/if you reconcile with your hubby, well, as we've already discussed, he's not been sitting on the couch either ... he could well have had the same thing happen. So I wouldn't let that get into your head ... just deal with the disclosure when it's the right time. I can tell you that from what you wrote, he's a fool if he doesn't at least take the time to get educated and realize that he's getting a better, "improved" Ashley back ;)

 

(((HUG)))

[Chinup]

Thank you, dancer! You just brought a tear to my eye!! The funny part about your statement is that he said he thinks I need to work on myself.. And I never could understand what he meant.. I thought I was a pretty decent person lol.. I can only imagine months from now him coming to me and saying something like "you finally got it.. You found yourself.." and me telling him, well, that's because I got h!!! LOL can you imagine???? But you're right, for now I'm not even going to worry about that! There may be a chance for reconciliation, but there may not. And as I said before, I ONLY plan on telling him if I'm 100% sure that I want that. Otherwise, he never needs to know. Either way, all I can do now is live my life as I always have, with a few new positive changes, and see what happens!!! Trying to take it one day at a time :-)