Bad bad terrible day / night

[Geminij]

I'm in major blubber mode. Tonight my ex has asked me about my outbreak and I told him all visible symptoms had gone but that we needed to wait at least till Sunday till we can have sex ( making it a week)... He completely understands he's so awesome but as we we're watching tv he told me how beautiful I was and he kissed me in a way that I knew he wanted me. I pulled a way and changed the conversation... Then he as stroking my tummy (he was watching football so it's the deal that I get awesome cuddles whilst it's on) and his hand gradually moved towards my breasts, in the end I kissed him good night and said I was going to try and get an early night because I'm working tommorrow ( he's not)...

 

Then I started to cry and I cried so bad it got ridiculous.

 

I just hate that our relationship isn't the care free 'have sex when u want' rations hip. I actually feel like a part if me is being suppressed or even like I have to give up a part of who I am because of H. I just got in bed thinking 'this is so unfair'...

 

I text my boyfriend and told him everything and he came straight to bed and was shocked to see me crying hysterically and got in bed And made small talk with me and I told him I didn't want him to touch me for reasons discussed above... Eventually we went to sleep but this morning I woke up feeling crap...

 

;-(

 

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

So here's the deal friend... YOU CAN STILL BE INTIMATE WITH HERPES! You just can't have intercourse/blowjobs around the time of the OB, but you can still find other ways to please each other, to explore each other, and to just be close!!!!! In fact, H will force you to do this unless YOU allow it to be an excuse to turn your lover away!!!

 

Intimacy isn't just about having sex, nor is it about orgasms. I'm just starting to date a guy and I slept over one night ... we agreed that pants wouldn't come off because I want to get to know him before "going all the way" ... and I have to say it was the HOTTEST 4 hour make-out session EVER!

 

Don't turn him down... TURN HIM ON! ;)

 

check this link out:

 

http://herpeslife.com/keeping-your-partner-herpes-free-can-be-super-sexy/

[Geminij]

I duno this is difficult... . We argued tonight Infact right now he's sat in the other sofa watching tv in silence. Not H related but I think it's because of the H issues above we've ended up arguing about three stupid things and he's just ended the argument by saying I've got too comfortable with him... It would be easy to say this isn't H's fault but it's too much of a coincidence.. Huff... I'm numb

[Yadira]

Don't let herpes ruin your relationship! I have it and my boyfriend does not. If I ever feel ANYTHING down there we don't have intercourse BUT we make out & kiss a lot. I admit I haven't had an actual outbreak but I've felt prodome symptoms before and during those times we don't get physical but we do get intimate. There is a difference! Find other ways to please each other -especially if you love each other. Don't let this cause problems in your relationship.

[Peggy]

Im so sorry that you felt so sad.....you just need a little time...he sounds like a good person. And remember there are so many other things you can do romantically!!! I date men with HSV and without and if I had a physical issue I just work around it...they have always left with a smile on there face. Anyone that cares for you will be understanding:) I do want to mention in the begining I was way more gun shy. As time went on (15 months ago now) Im right back in the saddle:) That's why herpes is such a great filter. I wish you all good things!

[WCSDancer2010]

he's just ended the argument by saying I've got too comfortable with him

 

Well, then believe him. Ask him what that meant. He may feel that you are using H as an excuse to not have sex (esp if he's had that experience with women in the past ... not wanting sex after they get in the relationship).

 

Try having a date night ... don't push him away... but let him know that you want to try other things to turn each of you on. As @Noel said, there's ways to make sure they leave with a smile on their face (men are pretty easy to please really ;) )

 

Be careful about blaming H for all your relationship problems. You can allow H to be the excuse, or you can use it to make a relationship stronger. It's your CHOICE. Promise :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[Geminij]

As it's early days I think it's definitely me and my mood swings that revolve around herpes that seems to be our only problem I'm trying so hard to keep it together and I'm fine most of the time but when I'm not ok I really freak out and push him away... If I don't sort this soon I think eventually I will push him away- I can't lose him to this... I'm back at the clinic tomorrow to beg got more suppressants ... :-/ fingers crossed...

 

(Losing faith)

[WCSDancer2010]

You may want to try anti-depressants for a short while (6 months) if you continue to struggle (or you can try something like St Johns Wort if you want to go the natural route).

 

Don't lose faith. And try not to involve him in your upset. Come here instead. Go for a walk. Beat a pillow. Whatever you do, try to not overwhelm him with it. I lost a guy to menopausal neediness and angst (well, it was part of the problem). I've learned to spread my angst around between places like this, friends, and those closest to me ;)

[whitedaisies]

I tried antidepressants. On them for 4 month now. Helped w the panic attacks and tears. As soon as I am mostly done the healing process I will wean off tem. I am at the lowest dose now It really helped me b my mind was spinning and I couldn't slow it down to focus on my healing. I have never taken them in my life but gve in this time b I really needed it.

 

Antiviral suppressants may not be the only thing u need.

 

Hugs

[WCSDancer2010]

I took anti-depressants for 6 months because of a different crisis I was in. I HAT taking meds but it helped me to get my head back on straight .. so please think about it :)