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I have been known to get jealous about a man seeing other women, but the jealousy I am referring to which keeps me from waiting for Mr. Right, rather than maintain unhealthy relationships, has more to do with that I am jealous that other people have boyfriends or husbands and I don't. So when I am between "boyfriends," I get very antsy and a little depressed. I wish I could be strong enough to just take a year off or something. I hear folks say that is always a great thing to do - promotes self acceptance and self love as you work on yourself. But...I'm inpatient and get jealous.

 

I had a couple hour conversation with #1 on Monday. Had nothing to do with H, just about our relationship in general as well as the relationship with #2. #1 has known about #2 since we got back together - doesn't care, doesn't get jealous. He admits his advice sounds self serving, but he insists that I should tell #2 that I will never be attracted to him enough. I think he is right, but guess what. Too scared to tell him. Too scared to be without his love, friendship and attention. He's always been ok with the H thing, by the way.

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@amanda

 

I used to be similar - I hated being single. It led to poor decisions much of the time where men were concerned. I finally took time off - it was initially going to be 6 months to a year - ended up being 3 years ... and it was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I know now not only that I can survive without a man, I can THRIVE without one if I have to. Does it mean I want to? No. I'm very actively dating right now, with the hopes of meeting someone. But I know I am ok without him too. Perhaps you can try taking 3 months off ... something shorter than a year, and when you make it that far, try another 3 months. Find an activity you love and join a Meetup group for it .... take yourself on a vacation ... do things with friends. You may find you really like it once you break through that first bit of being uncomfortable being single ... I know for ME it's the best thing I've ever done ;)

 

 

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