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Hi all


I am waiting for my tests results but I am pretty sure I got HSV2. I don't have cold sores but it is red around my meatus urinarius and it is burning since 10 days. I received oral sex 9 weeks ago and 4 weeks after, it was burning but only for 5 days.

I am desperate, I don't know how i will be able to handle it. I did'nt sleep well since so long. I feel very depressed and I have so many regrets not to have protected myself. I am wondering how it will be possible to have a normal life with this disease, a wife that i will love and not be scared to give the virus to her, and children.


I feel a little bit better when i am on this forum but each morning when I woke up, the reality destroys me

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Hi Frenchman,

welcome to the website, you found the right place to share your story :) .

First thing ,only because its burning and its red , it don't mean it have to be Herpes ...there could be a bacterial infection or something else....you don't know that yet.

The chance to get HSV 2 by oral sex is much lower then getting version 1 by oral sex....but its possible. Why you think that you have HSV 2 , did the doctors think so or did you Google your symptom's and gave yourself the diagnose??

What kind of test did you made , a blood test or they took a swap from that area. If you only received a blood test it could be that you will get a negative result because it usually needs around 6 month till the body build up antibody's, that's the point it shows if you really have H or not.

Even if the results come back positive , its not the end of the world. You still be able to have a loving wife and children. If you really have H you can protect your partner by using condoms and take antivirals , the transmission risk will be only 2-4 percent.

Sure at the beginning you feel the whole time destroyed and up sad , we all did at that stage but your body and mind will learn soon to deal with it. You will feel much stronger and comfortable with that situation. BUT BUT BUT you still don't know if its really H , try to relaxed as best you can and if the test is positive , a lot of people on that site will be there for you, they will help you to make it easier...they did the same for me .BIG BIG HUG

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Trust me it gets better! First outbreak is the worse. Everyone is different. The best thing to do is calm and relax yourself. Stress brings out the virus and makes it worse. Education is key to put your mind at ease and to protect yourself. There are a lot of great videos Adrial has made that are very encouraging. 1 in 6 Americans have it and most don't know it or can pass it on without showing any symptoms. So how could you have known? My first outbreak came a year into my marriage and I had been faithful to him for 5 years at the time. He Never did get it. So that means I had the virus dormant for who knows how long! It has taken me a long time to not feel like God punished me or that I am dirty etc. The others can correct me if I'm wrong but I think it is the mother who passes it to her children. So I send you love and good energies. It will be ok. Hang in there buddy.

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Thanks Judith and Hamathias for you support


I had a urethral sampling (PCR detcetion) but I am really pessimist because i did previous tests for the other STD and they were negative, even for mycosis. So in the picture, there is only herpes left..

I will let you know and for sure i will need your help


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Hello and Welcome!


Don't just to conclusions yet ... almost sounds like you have a bacterial infection or a yeast infection.


*IF* you have Herpes, it's 99% certain it will be HSV1, not HSV2 if you got it from oral sex. HSV2 really doesn't like the mouth, so only 1-2% of all oral H is H2 so the girl would be far more likely to have HSV1 there ;)


Whatever happens, you can have a wife and children. You will need to disclose before having sex with a new partner. You will need to work out with her what kinds of protection/precautions you would use to protect her. *IF* she got it from you, she can still make beautiful babies for you. I've had 2 while carrying H and they are beautiful, H- young ladies now :)


Check the links out below - they will help you to understand it more ... whether you have it or not, it's good to be informed ;)




Handouts + disclosure e-book:





Herpes facts video
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Thank you for your message

I am really scared because I already did tests 4 weeks ago after my first burning episode and it was negative for bacteries and for mycosis (as well for chlamydia and gonorrhea). That is why i have serious suspicions about H. What else can it be

What would be the difference for me between HSV1 and HSV2 in genitals ?

I still cant believe what is happening to me

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there is a little different between 1 and 2. Version One is less aggressive. usually people get less outbreak's, at least you don't have a chronically sickness, like autoimmune sickness .

Version one is much more calm , you have less problems ,that's all.

Its the same virus like 2 but version one normally go to the mouth but on the same time it make 50 percent of every new herpes gentiles infection because its more in common......90 percent of every human have it.....so there is a bigger chance you got that , not HSV 2.

Its so easy to get it....because every person have it....to be honest , I had HSV 1 nearly all my live and I didn't knew I can transmit it even there is no Outbreak......live happen, why we think we are better, why we thought we cant get it , because we didn't knew it..,,, I didn't knew it .... so lets teach other people . lets ..............lets make it better , lets build up that community........lets make HSV1 or 2 normal like to having headaches.....lets be free.... I wane try .Fechman lets try it , even you maybe you don't have H....if you don't. then go and teach people. Big hug again

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I know it's easy to start freaking out about this, but know that most of what you're now stressing yourself out about is actually fictional. Herpes can't be spread by bathwater. Please, please watch the videos and read the links that have already been offered to you in this thread. They will help you get all the facts straight.


"What would be the difference for me between HSV1 and HSV2 in genitals ?"



Handouts discuss HSV-1 and HSV-2 and the differences in having each orally and genitally: http://eepurl.com/b4IPP


And check this one out on how herpes is spread (which Dancer already linked to):



You're going to be okay. Just educate yourself about this. The facts are the antidote to herpes. If you don't have the facts, then your mind can run off into all the far reaches of the galaxy in all kinds of worst case scenarios that aren't actually based on reality. ;)

Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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Hi Adrial, and thanks,


I cheched your links and saw : "The one thing to be wary of is touching any herpes outbreak and immediately rubbing your eyes. Since your eyes are another mucous membrane, herpes can spread to your eyes to create an ocular herpes outbreak"


The thing is I did but into my bath. Can the virus still remain on the fingers into the water for a few seconds ?

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Were you having an active outbreak? It sounds like you weren't by what you said: "I touched my penis where i think i got herpes ..." Most of the ways that ocular herpes is spread is if the sore from the active herpes outbreak is "weeping" (the fluid inside of the sore oozes), then if you touch that fluid and then touch your eye. So it's highly unlikely that touching the place where you think you had a herpes outbreak would then pass herpes to your eye. So from here on out, whenever you're having an outbreak and touch it, just wash your hands with soap and water and that instantly kills whatever virus might have gotten on your hands. When you're not having an active outbreak, viral shedding is unlikely to shed enough virus to be able to autoinoculate (spread herpes to other parts of the body). Here's more on viral shedding:


Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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I know it's scary dealing with the unknown. Based on what you're saying it *sounds* like you should be okay. (I'm not a doctor and I don't even play one on TV.) ;) So yes, there is a *chance* that by touching yourself and then touching your eye you could have spread herpes, but by what you're saying, it seems that the chances are slim. So from here on out, whenever you touch yourself, just wash your hands with soap to be safe. There's no good reason to worry at this point. Just keep an eye on your eye. If it's not itching or has signs of infection, then you're okay. Paranoia can be more powerful than herpes ever is. Just redirect this paranoia into your own personal safety and keeping your future partners safe. Being careful is healthy. Being paranoid only stresses you out and (ironically) can lead to more herpes outbreaks. Keep your immune system strong, your thoughts positive and self-accepting and stay connected to community. You'll be awesome. I promise. :)

Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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My results for bacteries are negative, so there is only herpes left.. I feel very bad. I still have red spots around my urethra. 15 days with them now ! When will they disappear ?! When they appeared first time, it was only for 5 days. I thought the primary infection was the worst one ?

How can you do to accept H ? I know it is binary, either you accept it or not but i am so fed up with thinking about it during y whole day..

I have the opportunity to make a break with my job but I don't know where to find the strength to go back there, to go back to a normal life.

I need your help

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We can't tell you when your Ob will clear up because Herpes doesn't play by hard and fast rules. There are many things that can contribute to the length of an OB - immune function, diet, hormones, age, stress levels etc. Yes primary is usually the WORST, but not necessarily the LONGEST ;)


So it sounds like you have been dealing with this for what, maybe 5 weeks. And while I am sure that feels like FOREVER, it's nothing in the timeline of your life. The average person lives about 4,000 weeks. At this point, it's a blip in your timeline. Yes, it's a crappy blip and one you didn't ask for, but this part of it should get better as your body manages to create the antibodies to fight the virus.


The more you stress, the worse it will be. So this is a time to practice patience and acceptance of what is ... and allow your body to do what it needs to to help you to control the OB's ;)



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