feeling alone

[ele3]

Back at school, living with 3 other 20-something year old girls, and the conversation turns to sex way more than I can handle. I have come to terms with my diagnosis and am very content with myself. I have learned so much thanks to HSV and I feel like I've gained a good deal of wisdom through this experience. However, roomies don't know about my hsv and it is very tiresome to have to listen to them talk about petty things that I can't contribute to and don't WANT to contribute to. I feel like it makes me come off as "holier than thou" or bitter (which is maybe true..) but I can't help my reactions anymore. I'm just frustrated and lonely. Sex (particularly casual sex) is shoved down my throat constantly when I'm up at school and it is exhausting.

[willow]

Hang in there chika! I know for me, when i was diagnosed everyone was talking about sex, and one night stands, and even my best girlfriends would tell me about their exhilerating weekends with the latest man. And i couldnt stand it. But then i realized something, after i had learned a great amount of stats and facts from the forum, i found that it wasnt other peoples sex stories that made me uncomfortable, it was that these people actually dont give a rats ass about protection and stds. And sometimes ill but in and mention it, but i usually get who cares attitude.

and thats all u can do sometimes, voice out some helpfull info, and they can take it or leave it!

Or ask them to not talk about it around you, tell em your not comfortable talking sex around them.!? Maybe theyll stop.

 

Just know that u should feel lucky knowing your status, because many ppl dont.

and also you will have sex and fun times when the time is right for you.

[kaybee]

I know exactly how you feel to the letter. I'm in college too and it's hard to hear my friends go on and on about who their latest one night stand is so casually. It was really difficult in the beginning but with time I've realized that I don't want to be that person. Every one night stand I had before h left me feeling a little empty and sad, sex without intimacy is never that great. I do chime in on occasion and throw out some std facts (ie did you know that you can still get herpes type one and two genitally as well as hpv, even WITH a condom?!)

 

It's hard at first but with time you'll learn to educate when appropriate and simply agree to disagree when appropriate. When it comes to anything in life no two people will have the same opinions. You had a life changing experience that helped to mold you as a person when you contracted h, and your friends may end up in the same position and they may not. We all go through shit that changes us. Just try to remember that all you can control is your own life and happiness, and remember to be grateful for the lesson h taught you (and all of us). It seems like not too many people learn to accept h without finding themselves growing immensely as a person in ways that they are seriously thankful for.

 

In the meantime, go out and have fun with your friends. Dance on a table top and have a drink and flirt with a cute guy if you feel like it and if you don't then do you girl! Live up being young and single (which you CAN and will do without casual sex!) and when you're ready I'm sure you'll meet a guy who's kind and smart and cares about you that you feel comfortable disclosing to. But in the meantime don't worry too much about it and enjoy your life!

 

Like I said, I know exactly how you feel, but we can't let h define our college years or anything beyond them. Life is beautiful and were lucky to have the opportunity to live and love, there's no time to be sad or spiteful. Lots of love and good vibes your way

[Jennie]

I hear you @ele3! I don't envy their ability for casual sex, but it is sooooo frustrating (okay I am going to sound petty for a second) its just frustrating that all of these people just go around screwing anything and everything and they are std free! Ugh. I've only ever had 3 partners all committed and long term and somehow I have hsv and these people don't? Some even got H on their very first sexual experience. Yet I know people my age, in their twenties who literally have had over 30 partners! Say what?! And their only concern is pregnancy.

 

I wish I was smarter about sex and demanded testing. I'm definitely having an off day today. If only, if only...

 

With that being said, just goes to show its all about the gamble, completely random and undiscriminatory.

 

Now that that is out of the way, ultimately @kaybee is absolutely right. We are stronger, definitely smarter, and we can use this to better ourselves.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Jennie

 

This is a perfect example of being careful to not believe everything you think ;)

 

its just frustrating that all of these people just go around screwing anything and everything and they are std free! Ugh. I've only ever had 3 partners all committed and long term and somehow I have hsv and these people don't?

 

Remember, 80% of people have herpes and 80% of them don't know it.... so odds are several of your friends DO have H and don't know it .... ;)

 

With that being said, just goes to show its all about the gamble, completely random and undiscriminatory.

 

And THAT is MUCH closer to the truth ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[seeker]

trust me, more of them have or had something than they are letting on. young people tend to exaggerate their "conquests" so take it all with a grain of salt.

 

And for the record, casual hookups aren't all that great ( trust me I know) its much better to get utterly freaky with someone you actually know and care about. casual hookups are essentially using another persons body to masturbate.

[ele3]

you guys are awesome. thank you for the support. xo