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first herpes outbreak and having an awful time/questions

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im a female in college and i found out i got it in the spring time. i had been sleeping with the same guy for 8 months (kinda casually but also friends) and then one day i just started to itch very badly and it was really painful to go #2. I scheduled a dr apt and by that time i had one sore. I told the guy because it was obvious he gave it to me (i wasnt mad because my dr said he could have had it a while with no symptoms but girls tend to have symptoms 5-7 days after contracting it) but he told me later that week that he got tested and was fine (uh BS). it was so frustrating because he obviously was lying to me and i just felt so vulnerable having him know that about me. but he kept sleeping with me like he didnt care (sometimes unprotected which i know is stupid but i would say something and it didnt matter to me and i thought to myself well he obviously has it so oh well). I continued to sleep with him because to me, i saw it has he was the only guy i COULD sleep with...it was (still is) really hard for me to accept. I can barely even say the h word outloud. I feel like my life is over. In college these days it seems like no relationship starts without having sex....like its unavoidable. but my biggest fear is it getting out to people. Im dont want to open up and tell someone that i have it and them reject me and tell everyone. so i just hide with this jerk guy and let him treat me poorly because other than that ive lost all sex drive and dont even care to meet new guys really.


Also..they always say your first ob is the worst. I assumed when i found out that would be considered my "first ob". And theres been plenty of times since then that ive felt the tingling or had a sore pop up once or twice (always in the same spot and never really bothers me). But last week i had this huge ob and they are all over my panty line and they are everyyywhere and more and more keep coming. They dont itch and it doesnt bother me to use the restroom but my underwear rubs them and it hurts so bad to walk. Its also very upsetting because some are so far from my actual V or panty line that even when i wear swim suit bottoms you can see them..so ive had to make up excuses to avoid anywhere requiring a swimsuit :(

I told my doctor and she told me to come in so she can make sure its not a bacteria or getting worse? any thoughts? im just having an extra bad time now because before this I thought "oh this isnt too bad, i can deal with this" and now its blown up so much...I even take the meds every single day. and I just got the Lysine vitamins the other day to help. Any suggestions to put on the actual sores? and how long can i expect this to last?


Any college students in the same atmosphere i am in as far as partying/dating/etc that has any tips? I know sex shouldnt be so immediately important when first getting to know someone but unfortunately in my generation it is :/


ps sorry this is so poorly written. This is the first time ive done anything like this or opened up really at all.

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Good morning! Welcome to the forum!


First i really want to let u know, that u dont need to be with this guy if your not that into him. I know sex, being casual or not seems huge right now, but its really not. Nowadays everyone seems to be ok with jumping in the sack before they even know the person, which usually leads to a frustrating situation like stds. Just. Know that u dont need to be with him! And hes nit your only option..


Best tip i can give u considering the panty line, go comando! U may not feel comfortable with this idea at first, but it helps so much!

Also, if u are able to take a bath, it will help too! Add some epsom salt and relax !

(If u own a hair drying, it works the best for drying your lady parts)


As for a check up with the doc, why not!? The more u know about u the better. But i do need to add, herpes, is just herpes, you cant get more of it, so the only time an o.b. would "get worse" is if an o.b. got infected.


As for swimming, couldnt u wear maybe some cute swim shorts to help hide the bump or teo that do show!?


You can also get a lydocaine jelly 2% over the counter at a pharmacy, its a nerve numbing agent. It helped me when i was in my itchy and pain stage of an o.b.


Remember, sex doesnt have to be the focus of your relationship, wether ur in college or not! The next person that u think u would like to be with, has to earn your trust and has to earn the right to know this about u.


Hope this helps for now!


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