Scared to share!

[lexluther]

A few months ago I found out I got genital herpes. Definitely some of the most devastating news I've gotten. After many highs and lows of acceptance and depression, I'm now here today. After a rough on/off thing with an ex I'm finally ready to move on. Being a college student, there are a fair share of random hook-ups after nights out drinking (how I ended up with this...) There is a boy I really really like and I know he likes me too. We talk some and will make out when we see each other out but I know he wants to take me back to sleep with me.

 

I really want to further our relationship into something that is not just drunken make outs but a real dating thing (I don't know if that is what he wants though..) but also I wouldn't mind getting "creative" and not having sex yet. I would never sleep with anyone without telling them I have herpes, but I'm SOOOO nervous to say anything. How does one go about bringing that up??? It's such an awkward thing, and more than anything I am terrified of being rejected and humiliated.

 

PLEASE HELP!!

 

 

(To make matters worse, when I found out I had herpes, a "friend" of mine told everyone on my sports team and on the guy's sports team because we all intermingle quite a bit so they all know I have it and it was a horrifying experience. I'm terrified of feeling like that again)

[WCSDancer2010]

@lexluther

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

First, I am sorry someone "outed" you to the teams... that person is no "friend" .... a friend would respect that it's up to you to tell people. The "good" thing is you now know this person is no true friend ... H helps you to learn who REALLY deserves the title of Friend.... my blog about it may help you understand this POV a bit more ;)

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 )

 

Now, as for your disclosure... the best thing you can do is read all you can about the virus (I'll give you the links below) and to read as many of the Success Stories that you can on here for ideas and to help you see that we have a LOT of people who have had success with their disclosures... if fact, I'd say that we've had FAR more successes than "failures".

 

As for Rejection, check the links out that I'll add below for you ...the rejection response was a useful for our survival in the past but it's generally just useless emotion to us now ... we make rejection about US when in fact it's about the other person's "deal breakers ... and H is just one of many things that someone could learn about you that would make them choose to move on. ;)

 

This will get you started - check all this out then let us know what we can do to help you :)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

http://herpesopportunity.com/podcasts/Herpes-Opportunity-Never-Rejected.mp3 (adrial)

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/rejection_its-all-about-perspective/ (my blog)

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201307/ten-surprising-facts-about-rejection

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Herpes facts video