Disclosing herpes isn't as big a deal as you might think!

[parky08]

I just wanted to share my experience on here because it saddens me to see so many people so frustrated, worried and sad. When I first found out I got herpes, I was obviously devastated. I was very depressed and cried pretty much constantly for over a week. However- I told quite a few good friends and got their support, no judgement. Once you explain to them how common it is, they realise that it's not your fault and it's not life threatening- they gave me such good support :)

 

Recently I disclosed to a new partner, the first I've had since contracting herpes 9 months ago. I didn't sleep with him for a good few weeks as I wanted to tell him first, and I needed to gain his trust before I could trust him with that. How did I tell him? We were lying in bed cuddling, still hadn't slept together... and I was telling him about how I've been messed about in the past by guys. Then slipped in that one of them gave me coldsores, but downstairs instead of on my face. I waited for him to freak out... nothing happened. He said, "That's like an STD thing isn't it?" I asked him if it didn't bother him.... he said not at all, it wasn't a big deal and that he still thinks I'm gorgeous. :P Even after I explained that there was a low chance he could catch it, he still wasn't phased at all :)

 

MORAL OF THE STORY- You are not herpes. I'm getting a bit emotional writing this because I want to hug everyone who thinks they can't love or have a relationship ever again- that's rubbish. It's not a big deal, ignorant people in society just make us think it is at first.

 

Lots of love to you all and stay strong :D

[Lisa]

Hey Parkyo8.... WOW! Great story and thank you for sharing. I've had quite a few bad experiences with disclosing.... I hope one day I can write on this forum that I've found a great guy who doesn't care and wants me for me! :-)

 

[parky08]

You will definitely find someone :) They're not worth it if they can't handle something as minor as herpes!

[VirgoGirl]

yess thank you for sharing this amazing story! These are the reasons why I come onto this site, to get support and hear the good news. I am so happy for you that you have found something who can see past the 'h' and be with you, for who YOU are!

 

I am going through the same situation right now (about to start a separate thread explaining my story). Met this guy, it's been a couple weeks, still haven't slept together yet, but we both really want to. He expressed last night he's starting to fall in love with me. It scares me so much to have the 'talk' cause I fear he won't want to be with me. I know its not good to think that way, and it probably won't even turn out that way, but it's so hard.

 

So hearing about a succesful herpes disclosure talk is amazing!! gives me hope :)

[Harlow]

Thank you for sharing. The thought of not finding love because of herpes is something I worry about a lot. But hearing stories like this make me feel hopeful. I'm happy you found someone wonderful who loves you for who you are not what you have!

[parky08]

Aw I'm so glad to be of some help :) I read so many negative stories when I first got diagnosed and whenever I found a gem of positive advice it helped so much so I thought I'd share :) x

[EssieL]

Thank you so much, parky!! Stories like yours give me hope :)