negative nancy

[mandymoon]

Ugh. I went from crying every chance I could to getting to a point forgetting about H. But I cant help the fact that 2014 was the shittiest year of my life. And with your guys posts i dont see how people could not turn around and be calm because its all right on, but like I said when I get lower back pains, well not really pains but tightness, since my diagnosis it reminds me. And i havent got outbreaks since my first 21/2 mths ago but this annoyance is bothering like wth it wasnt like this. I mean I had the worst c section recovery they resliced me open after the surgery was supposed to heal, but somehow got nastily infected. 3 months for it to close again going in everyday for dressing changes. Not being able to breast feed my sweet angel, that there killed me deep. Then hit with scabies then hit with headlice then whoop what do you know blisters! Im not looking for feelings of pity I just want someone to tell me something different. i know we all get good with bad. but this was all just horrid

[willow]

They're accomplishments for your soul. Unwanted obstacles you have overcome.

You have taught yourself to be a stronger individual.

youve gone through the ringer...and now you can finally understand that you now dont have to worry about what life throws at you, because you know you can handle it!

 

Life sure knows how to make things seem not fair... but in reality, fair is just a skin tone.

 

Chin up! Sometimes instead of worrying about or thinking about the horrible things in our lives, you have to train yourself to look on the possitive side. And its never as easy as you hope it to be, but there are silver linings!

 

[PositivelyBeautiful]

I know it's not easy to always see the sunny side of things, but when life gets shitty, we always have choices... that is to feel negative emotions, dwell, be angry, frustrated and upset, or try to find solace that all it will pass and happiness, joys and smiles will fill your life again soon. Try your best to focus on the beauty that does surround you, be present in those moment when your sweet angel fills your heart with love and allow that love to heal you... and know that as @willow said, all the hardships are accomplishments for your soul. You will be so much stronger because of them. Sometimes we have to live through the bad to appreciate the good. Hang in there, it WILL get better!

[WCSDancer2010]

@willow

 

Life sure knows how to make things seem not fair... but in reality, fair is just a skin tone.

 

OMG - I am soooooo stealing this! LOVE IT!!! Best "life is unfair" quote I've ever heard!!!

 

@mandymoon

 

(((HUGS))) friend. One day you will look back at 2014 and say "That is the year that I realized just how strong I am".

 

I feel your pain. I've had years where I just couldn't wait for it to be over ... in fact, I had a whole string of them. The kind of thing that when you finally get your breath, you get blindsided by something else. One day I woke up and realized, I was breathing again. I had ridden out the all those storms. They TOTALLY sucked.... I wouldn't want to live through them again. BUT, the reason I can support people they way I do now is because I've been through many challenges and I finally realized that no matter what happens, I cannot only survive, I will come out better and stronger for it.

 

Cesareans suck (I know, I've had one!) ... long term wound recovery sucks (I helped nurse my Mother through one so I've helped with all that wound care), Ob's suck. But 2015 is around the corner, and soon you can put 2014 behind you. Start preparing for that now. Start making plans for what you can do to create a year that is beyond your wildest dreams right now. Try to do things to take your mind off the OB's. And if you need to, get on an anti-depressant for a short while to help you through it all... sometimes we just plain need an "emotional break" from life .... I took one for 6 months (went on Welbutrin) when life finally knocked me down one time too many, and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. I was finally able to think more clearly, to see where I wanted my life to go, and to believe it could happen. I'm not a fan of most modern medicine but I DO believe that when used judiciously for short terms that sometimes, these meds are just what the body needs to get back on track :)

 

Remember:

 

If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you

 

 

(((HUGS)))

[mandymoon]

Omg girls i have absolutely no idea what to say but my eyes brightened with your powerful words of wisdom. Joy. For you to take the time to write that i cant thank you enough. I mean life was far from perfect before but like I said it was bam bam bam. I felt like i was undeserving for me and mom to be even in the same sentence I was a vegetable i couldnt do anything for my daughter and with knockers as big as mine i couldnt feed her like wtf do i have these for??!! I didnt do skin to skin and i know thats the most important part of their itty bitty newborn lives I felt like it was my fault for some reason I was disappointed the worsT of feelings. It was awful guys cuz it was when sge needed me most and I failed and something I couldnt get back. Its still a struggle cuz shes so big and independant. I guess as moms were our biggest critics right? It aint easy but so rewarding. But you guys put it so beautifully i teared with appreciation your all beautiful. @dancer i feel you i dislike medication methods but maybe a short period will help. I know your a veteran and such an inspiratikn but i see veterans and they sound scared still and depressing and its like what if thats me I dont want that. But with all your words im trying. You guys totally rock like really. Big ass hugs.

 

[lost250]

Mandymoon I completely get why your saying about some "veterans" being such an inspiration, and others scaring me because they have struggled with it for so long. I've thought about that a lot and I've decided that i'm not going to LET this get the best of me and let this control me for the rest of my life.

 

After all life is 10% what happens to us, and 90% how we react to it. Yeh some days i just want to stay in bed, but i don't let myself.

 

as for your concerns about not doing "skin to skin", new mothers are so hard on themselves. You are definitely your own biggest critic! I don't have my own kids, and i'm sure i'll be exactly the same, but I've worked in Family Support work and you're not alone!

[WCSDancer2010]

The reasons *some* veterans are still struggling is likely because they didn't have any kind of support system when they were first diagnosed ..... noone to help them understand the virus.... noone to help them to learn HOW to disclose .... noone to help them so see how H can actually teach you better health/living habitsor how to choose a better potential partner.

 

AND

 

There are those who just plain are stuck. Odds are H isn't the only place they are stuck. Odds are they were stuck before H came along. They have become attached to believing that they are victims, that life isn't being fair" to them. Or maybe they believe that they must continue to beat themselves up for a "mistake" for the rest of their life (it probably wouldn't matter what the "mistake" was... they just are not able to find self love and forgiveness).

 

You are right @lost250 ... life is 10% what happens to us, and 90% how we react to it. ... and just because someone is a veteran doesn't mean that they have learned this lesson :(