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Hello and Welcome!


I've been HSV2+ for 35 yrs - since my first sexual experience at 17 - I also have HSV1 orally since I was 4 yrs old.


I have two H- daughters ... aged 25 and 28 ... and a 3 yr old H- granddaughter. My first was born by cerearean because I was scared into it. I later learned I didn't need to have had it and managed to fight to have a natural birth for my second. When I had them (80's) there wasn't the internet and google out there to scare the crap out of me and make me worry about every little thing I did. I just took care to not kiss them if I had an Oral OB and that was about it.


Herpes does not live for long at all (usually minutes at best except in "perfect" conditions like in a Petri dish in a lab) outside of the body.... and even if/when you might, say, share a towel, the minuscule amount of live virus that might contact someone on healthy skin is so small it's not likely to transfer before it dies.


Look - we are ALL (H+ or H-) walking Petri Dishes to be honest. We are always coming in contact with bacteria and virus and such. Our bodies usually do a really great job of killing anything that we come in contact with before it harms us.


The Herpes virus really requires skin-to-skin contact. If you have an open lesion, that is shedding on steroids and you want to just plain use common sense hygiene regarding washing hands when you touch the area and keeping it covered and not let ANYONE in contact with the area. Pure and simple.


Assuming you just have Genital Herpes, your children should never come in contact with the area where you have the virus ... so use common sense hygiene, and you should be just fine friend!





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Hi @Trying. Hope I can offer some insight into my situation. As I said on my first thread, I am mother to two gorgeous healthy little girls who were conceived while I was h+. My first was a Caesarian birth as she went into foetal distress because of meconium in my waters, a very common occurrence and the other despite many general opinions advising me not to was born naturally. I was very healthy in both pregnancies, no OBs and ate well. With my second natural birth I chose a technique called hypnobirthing which helped me manifest everything natural and positive about childbirth, therefore I did not give my dratted Herpes a second thought!

I have no idea about my childrens HSV status, it has never come up with a doctor, they have never had coldsores (just chickenpox) but as we all know there is only so much one can do to protect our children whatever age from this common condition.


Things like towels, flannels etc are never shared in our home but I wouldn't have done that anyway and we have lived a healthy life together as a family without any concerns. I do often wonder though if I would ever disclose to my children when they are women?!! Maybe that's a bridge too far but I want them to be as informed as possible and to make informed choices in their lives. I was very sheltered and naive and as a result was susceptible to big mistakes, not just herpes! All I know is, I want them to be healthy and wise but also non judgmental and caring valued human beings whose mother's happiness is (hopefully) reflected in them :-)


Out of interest, if it's not an intrusion, are you currently trying for a child or a mother already?


Good luck!

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LOL @WCSDancer2010... Good job with your youngest! That's something to certainly ponder. We want the best for our kids so maybe I will one day. @Trying... I always wanted a third child but guess I've missed that boat... AGE not herpes! Lol :-) Good luck with trying!

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H+ dad here and I can feel for ya, I feel like a big walking virus sometimes. mine came to me tonight and said something was going on with his lip and my heart skipped a beat. and I don't have H1 im H2 in the southern regions so I was for about 1/10 a second freaked then I realized; A. he couldn't have gotten my H2 and B. if he had H1 it wasn't from me because I don't have it and C. he is a kid and all kinds of weird things happen to them, his arm is covered in cuts from being a 12 y/o boy.

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I'm not overly fussed with oral cold sores....there just doesn't seem to be a stigma...I only have genital (assuming 2, not been tested) .... I practice good hygiene but THEORETICALLY say I was using the bathroom and I don't know the house set on fire LOL and I had to grab my kids without washing my hands, they wouldn't get genital anyway they would have the rare HSV2 on the upper body right? I'm so paranoid

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Well @Trying


Unless you were wiping yourself dry with your bare hands, it's unlikely you would have any amount of virus on your hands after using the bathroom ... AND ... if all the stars aligned the wrong way (you were masturbating and touching the open sores ...unlikely BTW cause it HURTS!... and the house caught on fire and you touched them with a ton of fluid from the lesions on your hands and you maintained contact long enough for *enough* virus to transfer.... ) and your kids got HSV on their bodies (no, it wouldn't get on the genitals UNLESS you TOUCH the genitals!) it's better than them dying in a fire.


Go back and re-read my blog post that I gave you a link to until you get it that you are NOT a walking petri dish. AGAIN, I was clueless about any of these worries with my kids and they never got it ... and I have no worries about my granddaughter either.


Now, if you *can* you want to help to keep your kids from getting the Oral H if you can simply because when they grow up, they *could* pass it to a partners genitals through oral sex (I know, not something you want to think about when they are little but we need to be real here ... they WILL be adults one day!). So if they can avoid it, great ... if not and they get it, then make sure they know when they are sexually active that they need to be careful about Oral Sex. ;)

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well where my boy is concerned, I was more showing an example of feeling like a virus than being worried about him getting H1. he may very well have it, his mom was still lip kissing him until recently, if not still. not saying she has H1, if she did when we were married then I must be utterly immune to H1.

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Hello, I am a mom of one 3.5 year old girl. Not sure if I had it before I was pregnant or after since this virus can stay dormant for quite sometime. I without thinking and in a rush one day shared the same wash cloth and then had a huge panic attack for at least a week thinking I could have gave her H... But these lovely people here helped me calm down and relax! I worry more about her other health issues more than her getting H. I sometimes get the whitlow so it shows up on my finger, but I just put a band aid on it, so when I do cuddle her, which is a lot, there would not be a fear if I could have transmitted it. But I have anxiety like you would not believe. I worry about literally EVERYTHING!!!! I'm really thinking of going to therapy or get on medicine for it. However, me and my daughter share drinks and kisses and she is fine!!! I also share drinks with my best friend and 3 godchildren and they are all fine as well. Don't worry their mom is the bff I mentioned so she knows about my diagnosis.

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I have a 2.5 year old daughter and I can totally relate to the feeling of being a "walking virus".. When I was going through my first OB I was so paranoid to touch her.. Even though I knew i had washed my hands and what not.. After it cleared up, I was able to relax a little and was starting to feel semi normal again.. I think I may have even gone a few days where I didn't even think or worry about H at all.. Now that I'm having my second OB I'm feeling paranoid and down again.. But I know I just have to be smart about it and use good hygiene and she will be fine. I am currently separated from my husband and I do worry about the future and if I'll ever be lucky enough to have more children.. I guess my question is this.. Sorry if this is stupid, but If I'm H+ and my potential future partner is H-, how do we have unprotected sex to have a baby without risking transmission? These are the kinds of things that keep me stressed out and sad :-(

I'll tell you one thing, thank goodness for my daughter.. On the really dark days I seriously don't know if I could deal without her.. She is my rock!

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There is always transmission risk for unprotected sex but the risk is soooo small if u take antivirals and avoid outbreak times.


Lots of people go years with unprotected sex and never give it to their partner....some never....why couldn't it be you too?


Be fruitful, multiply...herpes won't stop you.


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I guess my concern is that I am currently separated from my hubby and we have 1 child.. 1 bad, terrible, awful night happened during that time and now I'm H+.. There are times when I think we are on a path to reconciliation, but I struggle EVERY DAY with the thought of telling him.. While I do think he is mature enough to research and learn the facts, I'm just not sure he will ever accept me back like this.. The guilt and disappointment I feel.. I don't know if I can ever bring myself to tell him at all.. I don't want this to hold me back from life, but it already is.. I think about how we would ever have more kids.. If he would be comfortable enough to have unprotected sex (while on antivirals, of course).. I also wonder if he would laugh at me and shrug it off as "well, that's what you get for leaving me".. The stress from it all is overwhelming... The stress of telling anyone is overwhelming.. I think I just need more time with this to see how it affects me before I can disclose.. I still need to accept it myself! Sex and kids are so far away at this point for me lol!! Maybe someone will want me again one day :-/ Thank you all for your support :-)

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I'm just not sure he will ever accept me back like this


Well, I'll be straight. He may, and he may not. BUT, if he doesn't, all you can do is go through your own process of that loss (and DO allow yourself to feel it and process it) and move forward. Perhaps there is something better out there for you. We don't know what is in our future ... we can only try to learn from the lessons of today, accept the consequences of our past actions, clean up OUR part of any mess we have made in the past, and continue forward.


I would *suggest* that you get some counseling ( @Adrial is AWESOME) ... perhaps alone and if you are working on reconciliation, together as well. Then, when the time comes, tell him when you are in a session if you feel you need some support to help you through it.


Here's Adrial's info ... give him a buzz and see about having a session with him. I've seen him in action and he's VERY good at what he does ;)




919.968.8818 or email at [email protected] http://www.adriallifecoaching.com/

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