First real herpes disclosure ... first real rejection?

[dallas2015]

I just came upon this thread, and it applies to what I'm going through right now. I have GHSV-1 and 3 days ago I disclosed to the guy I've been dating for almost 3 months. We had already slept together a couple times WITH protection... which I know is a taboo subject, but I've had it for 7+ years and even had unprotected sex for 3 years with a consenting partner who never contracted it, I take valtrex daily, and have not had an outbreak since my initial one over 7 years ago.

 

The night this all happened, we were talking about our "status" and he was pressuring me to go without condoms if we were going to be exclusive... so I figured this was the time to fess up. I told him the risks of transmission (slim with my type!), safety precautions we can take, and gave him the disclosure handout. He said he needs a week to think about it, but it's agonizing! Now it's just a waiting game, but I too can relate to feeling like it's unfair that I have to wait in pain while who knows what he's thinking. I want to send a quick text to just say "hey how's it going, how do you feel today" but after reading this thread, I'll give him the week he asked for.

 

In the future, I think I will ALWAYS disclose before it gets this far. Not only to be fair to my partner, but also because I think it's only that much harder now that feelings have developed on my end

 

and P.S. this would definitely not the first time someone has ditched me after disclosing, but I really like this guy and I usually disclose earlier before I get so emotionally attached... kicking myself for that one :-/

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

@dallas2015

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

Glad this thread seems to have helped you ... it's funny ... many people with H believe they are the *only* person going through "X" (there's many scenarios that get repeated) yet I see the same stories on here every week ... and it always makes me happy when I read about someone who has had a revelation after reading about another persons similar experience....

 

We do encourage people to always disclose before any sexual contact - even though they may have never had an OB or they are on anti-virals, or they have H1, the vast majority of us got this from someone who never gave us that choice ... AND, as you are learning, once we get sexual, there's a whole 'nuther layer of emotions to deal with if the person chooses to end the relationship after disclosure :(

 

Whatever happens, we are here for you ...

 

(((HUGS)))