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Awaiting test results... Scared... Need advice :(

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First, I apologize in advance for the long post... But there is only so much my mom can help with. Ive been looking at this site for a few days and everyone seems so positive and helpful. So why not give it a try?



Never had symptoms before. Only things I've had are a couple of UTIs and a yeast infection. Not real promiscuous but I'm not saint either...haven't slept with anyone for months previous to this. .


My story

Met this really great guy that treated me like a princess. Completely a new experience for me because I am, like so many other girls, attracted to the jerks. So this was refreshing! Probably made me go too fast but it just felt right.. And of course made the stupid decision to skip protection (I know, I know. I can already hear the disappointment in my mom's voice). I did ask if he had anything and he said no. Anyway, a day or two after sleeping with this guy for the 2-3 time, I went to work like normal. It felt kinda sore/slightly swollen down there but I kinda figured that it was just from the act itself. My body felt achey too. I dismissed that as well because I'm a big exerciser and I had just done my "heavy leg day" prior to this. I also wasn't very hungry that day which is VERY odd for me. So I worked like normal and had to stay extra because it got busy. I finally rolled home at 1:00 am. Once I laid down, I got so achey, got a pretty decent headache, got chills, and my throat felt like it normally does right before I get a cold. I even texted my coworker saying how I just felt like crap all of a sudden. She told me I was just tired. Fast forward to the morning and it really hurt to pee (not a UTI hurting pee) and my body was still so sore. I'm not sure why exactly I decided to look, but I got out the mirror and took a glance. That's when my heart stopped and I saw a singular bump (kinda pimple like) that just didn't look right. Jumped on Google (I know, naughty) and got freaked out enough that I ran to the doc. I'm in tears the whole time because I just know I have gotten this incurable sti. Doc took two swabs: one for culture and one for pcr. She said she couldn't say definitively, but it very well could be herpes because of the location even though it wasn't ulcerative or whatever. She gave me an Rx for acyclovir (400mg 3x daily for 7 days) just in case and until results show up. Sounds like my doc experience went way better than most people's. She knew what to do. God, just saying the word herpes sucks and scares me. Anyway, so right now I'm in this horrific waiting game but the feeling in my bones is that it'll be positive.


So now here comes my extensive list of questions. Again, I'm sorry for the novel I'm writing.


1. I know it's hard to determine who gave it to you and when; that I could have been infected for years. But from my incessant researching it sounds like what I had were signs of a primary infection. Or am I just being bat shit crazy? I've never had something like this happen before and what are the coincidences I would feel flu like right before?


2. If it comes back positive, I plan to go in for a blood test to see about the antibodies. If I have none and if what I had was a primary infection, would it be a safe guess that it came from prince charming?


3. I have never noticed any itching symptoms. It's been two days since and I still have soreness in my back and legs. Still hurts to pee but it's lessening. In general, if I'm just sitting I don't feel like there's anything wrong. And from reading others stories, the pain and itching is quite bad the first time. So I'm not just making this up, right? Different doesn't mean it isn't H...?


4. I of course am waiting to see what all the tests will say, but I have the planning personality type. I need to be ready for whatever. So when it comes to disclosing this to him... I have a few questions. Would it be safe to imply to him that I may have gotten it from him (if the blood test comes back neg) and that he needs to go get tested. I'm terrified though because what if he comes back negative?! And secondly, he's out of town for a long time and I just don't know how I could break this over the phone. I want to see his face and his reaction. But knowing he could be infected and waiting til he comes back doesn't seem fair either. Basically I'm scared he'd hang the phone up and never speak to me again


I appreciate any responses any of you may give me. I feel so alone and disgusted with myself. I never really had much luck with guys. I always told myself I was too normal and guys like the crazy cakes. So the prospect of now having to disclose this potential thing to the very few who do take interest in me makes me so sick. makes me think I'll never find someone to stick around. Who would want to be with me and have to be careful all the time? I can just picture every guy going running for the hills, far far away from me. I'm only 27 and this feels like a death sentence :(

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Hi and wow, I must say you are right on top of things. if this guy doesn't work out give me a call ( if your into older guys :) ) .


1 my first OB the doc thought I had mono with a bacterial infection down south so, no those symptoms are normal.

@ blood tests look for antibodies, it takes up to 4 months to get enough of them for a definitive positive ( we have people with even longer times before blood test positives). So, a pos swab with a neg igg test means new exposure.


3 herpes is a tricky little bastard and can act in myriad ways. my first was over the top bad, other not so much but later were. its part of the viruses survival technique, and a damned good one.


4, would be based on the test results. yes he needs to be tested one way or the other.


this is a squirrely little virus so he could have had it and not known, they say 80% of people with it don't know.


and no guys don't like crazies, I personally like as little drama from a woman as possible. its not a death sentence, lots of the gals on here have gotten new BFs since their diagnosis.

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@Theo1824 I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all of this. My giver denied at first (I knew it was him) saying he didn't have h and no no no. He also seemed oddly nonchalant like, "So what are you gonna do kill yourself? Think positive!"


Much much later he confessed the truth. I'm glad you got the acyclovir right away. I went 15 days before I was diagnosed meaning the viral amplification and seeding got WAY ahead of my immune system. Sigh.


You've got a lot to deal with right now. Make sure to put caring for yourself high on the priority list!

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Haha I guess that's my portion of a type A personality coming out. Any time I get nervous or freaked, I start researching for hours. Even lose sleep. I probably spent hours just reading this site. It made me a lot more calm when it's reffered to as a skin problem and if you're careful, risk of transmission is less than pregnancy on birth control. I wish the world knew that. .


So it seems like I probably just got infected by him then? He seems like a really sweet guy so he probably is one of those that doesn't know. And I was just the lucky bastard that caught him on a shedding day. Lovely.

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Pretty much what seeker said.


Your first outbreak can occur as soon as 2 days after infection or decades later, so first OB is not the best indication of time of infection.


My symptoms were like yours. I had a UTI and a singular pimple-like bump (Monday). The doctor didn't think it was herpes. It ulcered the next day, but I figured it was due to trauma from the swab. Within a few days, more and more "pimples" were appearing and ulcering. Wednesday my UTI symptoms weren't gone even though I'd finished my antibiotics. I developed awful pain in my back and hips that finally stopped today. Friday my results came back positive.


I had itching but I also had a bacterial infection and UTI so it's hard to say if it was related. The first bump itched when touched, though.


Yes, you most definitely SHOULD, but I know people who decided not to disclose to past partners. It's going to be scary no matter what. If he would hang up and never speak to you again, you're better off anyway

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Hello and Welcome!


Well yes, sounds like this guy is the (possibly unknowing) culprit. He could have HSV2 genitally or HSV1 orally and given it to you via oral sex ... and not known he had either. Or he could even know he has it and have been told by his Dr that he doesn't have to tell anyone as long as he avoids sex during OB's (yeah - a lot of Dr's tell folks that and conveniently forget about asymptomatic shedding). The CDC says most cases are passed aysymptomatically, which makes sense ... who wants sex during an OB??? :-O :-O :-O


Blood test will tell you if you just got it or not ... if you are H+ with swab and H- with blood test, you likely got it in the last 3-4 months which means you got likely got it from this guy.


As @seeker said, Herpes is a slippery little devil and it doesn't play by the rules, so your symptoms sound "normal" ;)


If the blood test comes back negative, yes, odds are you got it from him. I would wait till you get all the results/facts, then we will help you figure out how to approach it with him... ok???



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You guys rock. Just being able to talk about it has been so nice. Helps lessen the scare a bit. Currently just hanging out in a denial of sorts until I hear back. Suppose to know by tomorrow or Tuesday. I swear the waiting is the worst. I wanna know, and wanna know now! Sucks there could be another waiting game to come after this.


The greatest part though is all of you prove life goes on and can be great. I have to try to remember that.


On the bright side, I didn't have a full out cry session today. Go me!

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Yes - life goes on.


You live about 4000 weeks ... a few of those weeks will be crappy because of OB's, some because of rejections, some because you lost your job or a loved one. When those weeks come along you just have to be patient and know that you WILL get through it all. Without experiencing fear, we cannot be fearless. Without experiencing pain we can't appreciate the good times. And without experiencing challenging experiences, we won't grow.


The bottom line is you have a CHOICE about how you approach this, no matter what the result is. So - do you choose to learn and grow, or blame and crawl into a hole? My guess from what you have written is you will be someone who comes out stronger on the other side of all this :)

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