Going crazy!

[NotAlone (previously Alone]

I really wish I could be more postivie in my posts here, but with my now 7th episode in two monts im starting to feel a bit worn out! (I've had it for 9 months and a total of 12 episodes!) This morning I woke up with an episode in a totally new area.. I used to think I was lucky to just get episodes back there where the sun don't shine (imagine that, some luck), but today it's in the front and I'm freaking out! Never have it hurt to go to the toilet before! 9 months and it's still freaking hounting me! Because I'm doing my exams now I took the medication right away, I do not need this right now! I'm considering asking my doctor to prescribe me supressive medicine I can take all the time, since the episodes seems to just happend more ofte in my case! My head is in a so low state of mind right now... All the what if's, have i not did and why me's just goes on repite :-(

 

What a tuesday it is.. Can't wait to go home for christmas and crawl into my mothers arms!

 

 

[Kristin (breatheandletgo)]

(((Not alone)))

 

When I was first diagnosed I was going through so much. My life was a crazy mess personally and my H episodes were non-stop. Like you I was emotionally and physically exhausted.

 

I became depressed and discouraged because I was so uncomfortable all the time. I couldn't practice yoga or do the things that made me feel like "me" because I was constantly nursing myself and trying to recover enough to do the things that would ease my stress and strengthen my body.

 

I went to my doctor and he did put me on suppressive therapy full time and it made a huge difference, not only did I stop having episodes, but I was able to do get back to doing the things that reduced my stress and anxiety and helped me feel like myself again.

 

I think your instincts are right. Go see the doctor and take care of you.

 

much love,

Kristin

aka breatheandletgo

[NotAlone (previously Alone]

Thank you so much for your respons Kristin :-)

Today I can't stop thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life.. I almost cant handle it:-( And on top of that, it is not getting any better, it's just the opposite?! It hurts to just sit right now.. And i get so sick! My whole body is one big pain..

I used to be so happy and healthy, my life was perfect.. And then, fulfilling the dream of living in the big city turn my life upside down!

 

I do not cry, I do not scream, I just get so angry at my self for putting me in this situation! I'm just so angry right now!!

[Kaykay80]

If its any consolation my ass hurts to sit down too.... It always gets you down more when you are in the middle of an outbreak.... Once you have been to the docs and sorted some medication you'll forget you even have the condition!!! X

[Kristin (breatheandletgo)]

Have you guys tried Epsom Salts baths? They helped me so much. Put 2 cups in your bath and just soak. It dries up the blisters. Also go commando as much as possible. I realize you can't do that at work, but when you get home, even if you put on loose pj bottoms with nothing else it is good to let it all air out and stay dry.

 

Hugs to both of you. I know how you feel.

 

Not Alone...I am so sorry you are feeling the weight today. I really understand that. Sometimes herpes gets pretty real...but these feelings will pass. You will move forward and you will dream new dreams.

 

What can you be grateful for today? I know that may be annoying to hear and I apologize, but I care about you, so I'm giving it to you straight. What you allow yourself to dwell on becomes bigger. Your thoughts actually create your feelings. So write down three things you are grateful for today. Some days I just write them on my hand. And when you have the "oh fuck I have herpes" moments, look at your hand and read them out loud. I am grateful for ________________

 

Today I am struggling with something too. Something I wanted to happen that isn't going to happen and I am sad. I am disappointed and I am pissed off a little to be honest....so I am going to do this with you.

 

My grateful list for today:

coffee. (I needed it today)

my friends. (they rock)

laughter (I love to laugh, and make others laugh too)

 

Sending you love, Not Alone...and healing thoughts.

 

Kristin

[NotAlone (previously Alone]

If only i had a bathtub! But yes, I jumpez in my pj's the minute I get home from school and it was the highlight of my day today!

 

Kristin, you are totally amazing!:-) The things you write has an tremendous calming effect, thank you for that:-)

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling too, but what a grate person you are to be able to lift other people so high, despite you're own weight pulling you down.. I love you for that, so again, thank you :-)

 

As for my thankful list, I was actually thinking about that earlier.. So after school I went to pick up my sister and made here dinner. My thought was that I wanted to make here smile, which made me happy and I felt a bit better :-)

 

So today I am grateful for

- my sister, family and friends<3

- my comfypants

- my car (-15 degrees outside)

 

Sending love right back at you

[Kristin (breatheandletgo)]

Not Alone,

 

What a great list. :) And I love you too. :x

 

Sending you healing thoughts.

 

P.S. Yay for comfy pants!