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Recently contracted herpes, I really need some hope

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Earlier on in the month I drank a fair bit after my ex broke up with me and ended up sleeping with some girl that night I was drunk. Just recently I went into the doctors who told me that I for sure have oral herpes and I have a bad feeling that even though I wore a condom, I got genital herpes! I didn't know a cold sore could do this much damage to me! I don't even know what to do anymore and even though I was once happy, i'm starting to go into the depression that was once there before. I mean, i swear nothing good happens to me these days. First me and my mothers home burned down at the end of august, then my girlfriend broke up with me, and now this!? I know it's "just a skin condition" as my doctor put it, but I need some messages of hope from others that have had it for a while. I'm super depressed and i am already taking meds for my anger and depression issues and this is now another burden on me.

Why do bad things always happen to good people? Is there any light at the end of the tunnel? I'm starting to lose hope on my life, and i'm only 19! Will I ever get a job with my condition? or will I be forever alone and miserable for the rest of my life!

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I've survived alot in my life also, My mom said she'd have my back "No matter what" (i'm an only child) But i don't want to break it to her because she's already lost her home. All throughout my childhood from Pre-School to Grade 9 I was Bullied and beaten all the time. I've never been a "Tough Guy" but things did get better then once I stopped caring what people thought of me. But that fear is back again. Everyone currently loves me for being a "Caring, supportive (I've helped many a people through their life problems), and funny" (been told I don't know how many times to go into comedy). People have always cared for me cause I care for everyone else, but i'm not sure how long that's going to last now. I have worked so hard to bring myself to the positive light I once was, but i'm afraid that Herpes is going to take that all away (Friends, Family, the people I care for) and i'll be left with absolutely nothing.

Most know me as a "strong person" (mentally, not physically) and I've always have had a kickass immune system cause my mom wanted me taking natural medicine instead of what big pharma wants you to take. and I have not got my flu shot since 2008 (I believe it does more damage than good). I've gotten past the part of denial and I accept that this has happened, and that's why I am here. I just need to know I'm not alone.

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I don't know yet, I just have this real bad feeling about it.

Blood tests show I'm negative for it all (HIV and everything, THANK GOD!) but she took one look at the cold sore on my face and asked if I've had it before, and truth is I have, my dad used to screw a fair bit of strippers back in the day and I think I got it from him. But there is more than one cold sore this time.

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The thing is, I've told a close friend and his girlfriend. These two got me a shit ton of clothes and a DVD player when they heard my mom's home burned down. as a matter of fact they took me to the docs for the initial tests. They told me that no matter what, they will be there for me through this.

I would love to go out one day and just admit it later on when I've built up the courage as some of your stories are truly inspirational and make me feel less alone.

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Hi fellow Canadian!!!!


First of all u have oral hsv1 like many many people. No biggie. Seriously don't sweat it.


Just bc u got a blow job from a girl does not mean at all and I will say at all you got it genitally so seriously take it out f your head unless you have symptoms or lesions down south.


You are over thinking this and I know it's easy bc you are scared.


I am going to add a bit more later on when I have time to write.



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I never want to say u are paranoid BUT I think it may be you are having anxiety. Try to calm down and be relaxed, it is easier to assess your body symptoms.


Hsv1 oral doesn't mean you have genital hsv1. The skin around the penis is very thick and generally in tact compared to a woman's privates, It would be difficult to get it there without a cold sore on the woman's mouth at the time and even still it's difficult. The mouth is such a better place for hsv1 as it has a large surface of mucous membranes to penetrate. Your penis, not so much....another advantage guys have....where does it end?


Relax for a bit...tingling and itching is also a sign of stress.



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And the main reason I have my concerns (And I feel like I have an anonymity here), is because later on I found out that not even two days before I had this girl (In my defence, I used a condom and he didn't), a friend of mine slept with her also (so that girl as Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys would put it, she's greeeeasy). so that's where the anxiety and paranoia comes from.

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Hello and Welcome!


First - BREATHE!!! Odds are you didn't get HSV1 or OR genital from her. In fact, if you already have had a cold sore outbreak you DIDN'T get it from her ... odds are the stress of all you have been through (possibly combined with some passionate kissing and thus irritation to the area) caused the OB.


As for your genital ... given that you ALREADY HAVE HSV1, you have *some* immunity to it .. so given that you used a condom, well, unless she had a full on OB at the time, your risk is pretty low. As in, probably less than 1% type low (not that there is an exact number, but given the shedding rates for Oral HSV1, the fact that you already have antibodies, and you used a condom, your risk really is low). AND, well, if you *did* get it, it's NOT the end of the world. I got it from my first sexual experience at 17 (talk about crappy luck!) and I've had it over 45 yrs ... and it's really been a blip in my timeline.


Stay on here, keep reading and getting support. If you think you are having an actual OB, get it swabbed. And try not to over think this and worry too much.


And one other thing ... you now know that you can pass HSV1 to someone with oral sex ... so PLEASE be careful there ... it doesn't mean you can't go there ... but check in with any future partners about whether they've had cold sores, and if you *think* you may have something coming on up there, find another way to play...ok?




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How did they determine HSV 1 genital? Did you end up with a sore that they could swab and do a DNA PCR test? That's really the only true way to know. If they did anti-body it of course would probably come back positive since you have HSV 1 oral.

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Absolutly! Soo many people get coldsores. It really is just as annoying as a big zit on your face. You can look for products like abreva (im in bc and its about 20 bucks here) one of my best friends buys it all the time cuz she gets coldsore pretty frequently.

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