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why are we calling it "H" ?

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Lets just call it what it is ...Herpes! Let's all just say it ...I feel like calling it "h" is just letting us avoid the problem a little longer... We have herpes and you know what ?I realized that I'm actually scared to say the word ...I hardly ever say it out loud and I've disclosed to 3ppl I wrote it down every time ...I actually have been practicing saying it out loud to my self and I can't help but whisper it lol its actually funny now that I think about it because me avoiding the word is not going to make it less prominent ....So yea I have herpes but I'm also beautiful and smart and I have a freaking AMAZING personality and whose not gonna love me for that?...excuse my rambling but I feel a breakthrough coming on ...you know I've been hiding this for 5years and trying to hide it from myslef too but enough it enough... People are still gonna love me and people are still gonna love you so if your reading this I hope that if you haven't that you can accept yourself for who you are and see that you are not herpes and herpes is not you ...we still deserve to be happy and idk about you but I'm ready to go out and get it ...it's not gonna come us you know

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Yup - look at how many posts I've done in the last year (I started contributing in November last year). I've had to shorten a lot of things to manage to get to all the posts...


I'm with @willow.


OMG IDK but I got H frm my BF .... LOL


So... if YOU need to write HERPES as part of your healing... go right ahead. Me, I call it H because I'm getting cramps in my fingers writing so much on here :p

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I agree with you here,


I'm also too scared to say the word herpes, like its "voldemort" or something (Pretend I'm harry potter for a minute). Its gets caught in my throat and I just can't bring myself to say it. I even avoid typing it.


I realise this is only making it worse for myself. If Harry Potter can sort is stuff out and say voldemort, i'm sure I can sort my stuff out and say HERPES

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well, as I said I type it cause im lazy but as far as saying the word is concerned, there is a sexual education program called OWL ( our whole lives) done by more, er progressive churches like Unitarians and unity and such and one of the things they do is demystify words. they will say something like penis over and over till it looses its "power" ( mainly snickerablness) or they make the kids do weird stuff with condoms so they become less odd and more everyday. try saying herpes herpes herpes while dancing around in your undies to some old disco. even if you don't destigmatize the word you will look so damned foolish you wont remember you even have it. ;)


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  • 5 months later...


I've just come across this post, and it really made me laugh cause I was exactly the same for so long! I'd do anything to avoid actually saying the dreaded word. Any mention of it made me freeze and go bright red. I found that jumping on my bed and shouting 'I HAVE HERPES' until the words no longer had meaning and I laughed until I cried very helpful. The friend who was present at the time was slightly concerned by this behaviour, but everything has been easier since I've started being more honest with myself and you are 100% right xxx

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I realize this post doesn't relate to everyone and thats actually a good thing but my original thought of the post was aimed more towards actually speaking not typing.....but @Robyn_ Im happy you could relate...i think about this post and i laugh again just reading it like "why the heck am i scared of a word?"

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Yes it is hard to say herpes out loud. To a friend not so much but to someone who I hesitate to tell it is. I gave mine a name Harry Herp. To my girlfriends as we speak on the phone if my kids or their kids are around we say Harry. (Our kids are Tweens to teenagers and have big ears) If no people are around I will say herpes. I think down deep by giving it a name distinguishes it separately from me, so I can still be me. Harry doesn't define me. Also adds a little humor which never hurts.

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That's a good way to deal with it....


AND .. when it comes time for "the talk", consider sharing with your kids that you have it ... I did with mine and it helps to both make it real that they need to take precautions, helps them to know they have to ask for the test, and gets them to realize that ANYONE can get it.... ;)


My youngest came to me when she had her tests done to make sure that she was asking for everything she needed because she knew I knew more than most ... it felt good to know that she not only was taking the precaution but that she trusted me to help her out :)

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@wscdancer2010 under normal circumstances sharing with teenagers is a good idea. Believe me, I thought about it. Decided best if I don't. I can not take the risk of their father, my ex hub, finding out. He would have a field day and the harassment would be never ending. As a narsarcis he refuses to be held accountable (possibly giving me this) in anything that would make him look bad. So maybe when the children are grown, married with kids. Lol.

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Just a thought... but for *me* that feels like he still holds power over you... where if you just took your power back around it and stood up and said you have no shame nothing he could say would harm you.... and over time the harassment would stop because he would know he didn't have the power over you any more ......


It's just a thought. I personally won't let ANYONE have that kind of power over me ... I know that their rantings and abuse is just a reflection on them ... not me ... so by standing up and claiming your status openly and with strength and conviction, perhaps you could claim your power back from him ....


Of course you have to do what is right for you ... just putting my perspective out there for you to consider.... ;)

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