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OB GYN says oral sex is NOT ok without a dental dam. Does anyone know where the research is...

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First off, let me say that this forum has been a GODSEND for me. I was diagnosed about a month ago.


The hardest thing for me to accept has been never receiving oral sex again. To be brutally honest, that's how the majority of my fantasies start, so losing that was a huge blow. My OB GYN, when I met with him to find out more (on a recommendation of a friend with herpes) said that oral sex minus a dental dam was out.


So, as you can imagine, I got REALLY excited when I saw this video of Dr. Leone saying it was ok:

I called my doctor back, thinking maybe he thought I meant if someone is giving oral with a cold sore and his nurse reaffirmed that it was a no-go. BUT, she also said oral sex is never a good idea no matter what.


Both my boyfriend and I are both academics/research types, so I went online looking for the studies to prove Dr. Leone right. But, I'm coming up short. Anyone have any additional resources, study links, etc. that support his claim? I'd love for him to be correct. The use of a dental dam is a major turn-off.


Thank you so much!

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Only 1 % of oral herpes is hsv2.

.... one... per...cent...


My bf and i also have oral (i have hsv2) and he and i have never ran into any problems.

Your doctor is stuck on some mixed info...

i mean.. ya if it were hsv1 and ur guy didnt have hsv1 i could see it beein a bit of an issue...


I think maybe ur doctor is just personally not a fan of oral sex. Maybe ur doc doesnt think its a proper way to express sexualty and maybe thats why he/she said its never a good idea..?

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I found this online. The study is cited a lot of places, but I can't find the actual study anywhere (even using my university credentials, the oldest I can find is 1998)


What if your partner has genital HSV-2 and you perform oral sex on him or her? Will you get HSV- 2 in the mouth? Given the widespread practice of oral sex (some three-quarters of all adults practice it, according to The Social Organization of Sexuality, 1994) and the prevalence of genital HSV-2 infection, you might expect oral HSV-2 to be relatively common. It's not.


According to one study, almost 100% of recognizable HSV-2 infection is genital (Nahmias, Scandinavian Journal of Infectious Diseases Supplement, 1990). One reason is that most adults are already infected with HSV-1 orally, which provides some immunity against infection with HSV 2. Another reason is that oral HSV-2 rarely reactivates, so even if an infection does exist, no one knows.



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Thanks @Yadira and @Willow!


I realize I should have given more info:


I have both HSV 1 and HSV 2. I haven't had a HSV 1 flare-up in 15+ years.

He has neither (not even HSV 1)!


Is it ok for me to perform oral sex on him?

From this article, it doesn't look good:

A prior infection with oral HSV-1 lowers the risk of acquiring genital HSV-1 even further. Studies show that genital HSV-1 infections almost always occur in people who have no prior infection with HSV of either type (Corey, Annals of Internal Medicine, 1983).


In the absence of prior oral infection, however, HSV-1 spreads easily to the genital area, usually through oral sex. In some countries, such as Japan and parts of Great Britain, genital HSV-1 is as common as genital HSV- 2, or more common.


"Prevalence rates of genital HSV-1 differ based on the practice of oral sex and on the percentage of people who are HSV-1 positive from childhood," explains Anna Wald, MD researcher at the University of Washington at Seattle.




Is it ok for him to perform oral sex on me?

It looks like yes, although I'd like to find some more concrete evidence. Does anyone know where it exists?


The OB GYN is pretty non-judgmental, he specializes in STD's, but I think that also makes him REALLY cautious. His nurse brought up the potential of transmission of HPV from oral.

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Your doctor sounds like a prude L-)


I've had HSV2 for over 35 yrs.... had plenty of oral sex and never passed it to my partners mouth ... even before I knew that the "rash" that I had was Herpes. We DO have one or two people on here with Oral HSV2 which would seem like a lot except for the fact that this kind of forum tends to get more of the anomalies and tough-to-diagnose cases who are looking for answers that they can't find elsewhere ;)


I think your answer will be here:


Lafferty et al., New England Journal of Medicine, 1987




oral HSV-2 recurred an average of 0.01 times a year in newly infected people. "I've never convincingly seen an oral type 2 recurrence," says Spruance."

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Regarding you giving him oral, well, that's not as good news as you getting oral from him. 50% of new genital herpes cases are from oral sex. However, I'm willing to bet a fair percentage of them are from people who had no idea that they could pass it to the genitals and who thus may have performed on a partner while having a OB. I would suggest a few things.... don't even think of doing oral on him if you have *any* swelling or "cuts" on your lip or on his genitals. And afterwards, have him wash off ... or keep some kind of wipe/etc by the bed. Of course, you could always use condoms too. And if you take Valtrex/anti-virals, your risk will be a lot less anyway... esp for F-M transmission.


As far as your Dr's precautions, well, sex in general comes with some risk. There is no way to test men for HPV and the CDC reckons we will ALL get at least one of the 40 types in our life. One good thing about being diagnosed is that that you now know to pay attention to your body and be aware of when you *may* be having an OB. 80% of people with Herpes have no idea that they have it and most who have Oral HSV1 have no idea that it can pass down below :( ...so odds are he has had blow jobs from someone (or more than one to be honest) that had HSV1 oral already ... ;)


For a little reality check, read my blog about the risk factors surrounding sex vs other normal activities





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@ catapiddir (lol) back to the OP, yer doctor sounds like she has never had good oral sex and doesn't want anyone else to, the whole " oral is never a good idea no matter what" is a tell. I have met a couple of women in my life who didn't like it because they were "uncomfortable" with someones face down there. ???? im not sure what that means in woman speak but if the person going down there is ok with it why wouldn't she be? (paranoia about hygiene maybe??)

personally (tmi) its my favorite way to pleasure my woman ( when I have one :( ).

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I do actually like it chilled :-)


I might be able to shed some light here.. I, personally, can go without oral.. I'm much more of a hands girl when it comes to foreplay. But if my guy wanted to do it, I would.. Which I find it interesting that most DO want to lol! I'm very insecure about my body, always have been. Not sure why, but I am uncomfortable with a face down there and could never really let myself relax to enjoy it.. Prob why I can go without it. Everyone is different, I guess! :-)

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