well this is it...

[I_Am_Who_Am_I]

I joined this a few days ago and have been reading all the stuff people post. Not gonna lie some of it gets me pretty depressed but a lot of it actually helps. I feel safe here now... and that's a good place to be because I don't feel comfortable anywhere else now.

 

I guess when I found out I was in shock, and I've went through my stages of just wanting to wake up from a bad dream, or even have my life be over, to times where I find myself realizing what truly great friends I have, and how I am fortunate to be a full time student and have a good job.

 

I'm not so scared about living with the physical aspects of it but what has been devastating me off and on during the past week is the thought that now my dream to fall in love and have kids has a major roadblock, and being only 19 i feel like ill get the worst of it because boys this young are selfish and usually want to have fun before they get serious..

 

At this point, i don't really have any specific questions, I'm just looking for the support and guidance I need to get on the right track, and to keep this from letting it ruin my life....

 

thanks everyone

[Kristin (breatheandletgo)]

Welcome to you, I am.

 

So glad you are with us. You are in the right place. :)

 

I can really identify with your shock...it's normal. Glad you shared yourself with us and let us get to know you a little more.

 

Sending you lots of love and support,

 

Kristin

aka breatheandletgo

[Harlow]

I know the emotions you are going through. I am 21 and was just diagnosed a few weeks ago. It's a whirlwind of emotions. You'll have good days and you'll have bad days. So far, what I have come to realize is that there are so many wonderful parts of life to experience.

 

You still have the opportunity to travel, to build a successful career, to be a loyal friend, to be a benefit to your community, to help others. The stigma associated with herpes is worse than the virus itself. Herpes doesn't change the person you are. If anything, it makes you more open minded and less judgmental of others. It will help you see day-to-day things in a different light. You're less quick to judge others.

 

I never thought I would ever get herpes. I was never promiscuous. I came from an upper-middle class home and to me I didn't "fit the demographic". Well STDs don't discriminate. Please understand that this could happen to ANYONE. Herpes can happen to anyone. It happened to us. And we can choose to have herpes break us, make us shameful and guilty. Or we can take it as a second chance. It's not a death sentence.

 

We still have the same opportunities everyone else does. We need to go about our lives, fulfilling all our passions without letting this extremely over stigmatized skin condition hold us back. OKAY. WE GET COLDSORES. Who the fuck cares? People get cold sores on their mouths and no one makes a big deal about it. But all of the sudden it's on another part of our bodies and everyone goes apeshit? Forget it. You have your whole life ahead of you. So many wonderful things to experience.

 

So many people are diagnosed with terminal illnesses and their lives are cut short. We have a skin condition, in an undesirable place of course, but that's all it is. So go out. Go hiking, laugh with your friends, have a beer, go skydiving, travel the world.. All of that is still a possibility. And yes, I think about it all the time...Will I ever find someone who will love me? Or is herpes going to shun away all my future potential partners? Just enjoy life as much as you can. And if you find someone who wants to share your life with you, makes you happy, and can accept you for everything you are (herpes and all) then great!

 

I know it's hard. Everyone who has ever logged on to this forum knows this. But know that you are not alone. Everyone is here to support you and love you. Don't let herpes keep you from being the amazing person you are. You are still the same person. Herpes just happened. And life is unfair sometimes. But maybe this a blessing in disguise. Take the undesirable circumstances and make them into something positive, them best that you can.

 

 

"Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

-Dr. Seuss

[lelani]

I'm glad you feel safe here I am...good that you found us :-) I get the shock you feel...I cried on and off for a long time (at the beginning I couldn't stop!), and Kristin is right (she is such a honey too!)- its normal and we have all felt it too.

 

Your dream isn't over and you will meet someone...in the meantime just focus on all the things you have to be thankful for as you are doing...get through school and don't worry about boys because you are right - many are young and silly. Work on doing the things you need to do to be an independent, strong and amazing woman...and then H will be just a small part of who you are :-)

 

Harlow...your post is great!!! She's worth listening too I am :-).