im contagious if i have sex with condoms?

[Cecibuendia]

im sad

more than after, cuz i thought that i can have sex with condoms for safe... but now im conffused.. cuz im dangerous for everybody even if i use protection... this is real? i am a risk EVER? i dont want to do THE TALK about my H situation with SOMEBODY who i meet... is a mess what do u think about it...? is a fact we are a f... risk? everytime

[Sedonasunshine77]

Hello Cecibuendia,

I believe you are only at risk during an outbreak OR while you are viral shedding. Viral shedding may occur anywhere in the boxer shorts region of your body so in that circumstance I believe a condom is not effective. This is a virus and more of a skin issue. The reason for giving the talk is because it simply isn't fair to give H to people without their knowledge. I realize it feels frightening to have to do this and that is why I am not dating anyone myself. I have not reached the point of confidence to disclose to anyone who does not already have H.

 

With that being said, you are not a risk every day, every waking moment of your life. In time you will get to know your body and you will be able to make a decent judgement regarding your risk. I hope this helps to answer your question.

[WCSDancer2010]

As I explained in another post to you, condoms are only 50% effective ... because many people have outbreaks on areas of their body that are OUTSIDE of the area that is covered by the condom like the thighs, anus, butt crack, scrotum (in men) etc.

 

You say you don't want to always have the talk. Well, if you are going to have sex, it is the responsible thing to do... to be HONEST with the other person and give them the CHOICE to take the (SMALL) risk of catching it from you. If you take the anti-virals and use condoms you can reduce the risk of giving it to a guy to about 1% ... which is LOWER than your risk of getting pregnant on birth control and your risk of dying in in a car accident during your lifetime. You need to understand that while you *can* pass it to another you are not a walking talking viral shedding machine. If you pay attention to your body and work to learn what your symptoms and prodromes are, and you are HONEST with your partner about when you feel that you *might* be in danger of having an OB (outbreak) then you can keep your risks quite low. I've had 2 three year relationships with H- men. I disclosed to both. One didn't even want to use meds or condoms... but I had had the virus for about 20 years at that point and knew my body very well and avoided sex during any time I had any weird symptoms. The other one I took the meds but he couldn't perform with condoms ... neither got the virus from me.

 

I hope @Yadira and others who can translate for you will get on here so you can really understand this....

 

(((HUGS)))

[WCSDancer2010]

Thank you @inka - adding this to my link-stash :)

[Cecibuendia]

thanks to everyone.. i understand in english ..dont worry.. my problem is talk or write . i can listen and understand perfect.. i have to say.. im very depress.. im feeling worst than yesterday.. i never imagine that exist 50 % of probabilities if i used condoms.. i cant have sex never... well i have 2 years with this H and i understand PERFECT my simtoms i studied everything my reacctions, how do i feel my body etc... but im very very sad now. i dont want to live that way.. i cant do a normal life .. i thought maybe if i broke up with my boyfriend( he gave me that F* H) maybe only i can have occacional sex and never a relationship but NOW i dont want to live ,,,this is a mess this is the worst is like VIH HIV . im dangerous for everybody. im really really sad

[WCSDancer2010]

So I still don't think that you really understand. It's not a 50% chance of passing it on with condoms. It's a 50% reduction of the RISK of getting Herpes.

 

If you have HSV2 genital your regular risk of passing from female to male is 5% so with condoms your risk is 2.5%.

 

If you have HSV1 your regular risk is probably only 1-3% so with condoms the risk is <.5-1.5%

 

 

If you add antiviral medication you can cut that risk by another 50%. So the risk is about 1% for HSV2 and less than 1% for HSV1.

 

Check out these links for the FACTS about Herpes ....

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Herpes facts video

[seeker]

you are not dangerous!!!

its no where near HIV, hell even HIV isn't what it used to be.

trust me a sexy latina will have no issues getting the attention of men.

 

and yes there will be men ( I am speaking for my better brothers) who will want to be with you, all of you not just sexually.

[Cecibuendia]

people..im really really sad

i cant sleep last night only think in my future

im sick today

i want to wake up in my beauty past

im so so sad...

and now conffused with the %

 

[FLNewH]

@cecibuendia Firstly, I'm sorry you are feeling this way. But, we all have felt the way you are feeling right now. I keep going back to your words "this is a mess this is the worst is like VIH HIV"

 

No no my friend. This is not worse or anything like HIV. Herpes is an inconvenient skin condition, not a death sentence.

 

You are in shock right now, as well expected. The best advice I can offer is to not think about the future or the past. Think about right now. Take this time to read the articles, the posts, the questions. View the videos. Post as much as you want about ANYTHING you want. But, you HAVE to find a way to get out of the funk. Check out the General Inspiration category and read those posts. I posted one myself. Not that I think it's totally awesome or anything, but I've had people on here email me that it made them feel better - it's called Be Our Own Therapy. You have to find a way to not allow the dark thoughts take over and keep you in a funk. I felt the same way (and still do some days - I've only known for 3 weeks) BUT as you learn more about this, it gets easier. It will also make you feel better to know that so many people are affected by this. But nobody talks about it, so you wouldn't know. I've told 7 people (well, 9 now that I've disclosed to two former partners) but out of those 7, 5 people are either directly or indirectly affected. 2 of them have partners that have it, one has a friend whose daughter has it, 1 person has had it for 10+ years and the other, her sister has it.

 

Knowing that you are not alone and that this does not make you dirty or gross or unwanted is the first step.

 

We are here for you!

 

[perfGentleman]

2.5% over a year, having sex twice a week. That is about 0.025% per time. Outside of outbreaks.

 

You are going to be ok, you will learn to get to know your body, know when this H thing is acting up and not, use protection and have an awesome life.

[Cecibuendia]

thanks a lot... FLNewH and perfGentleman and averbody here... im so scared and furious... but im trying to read and read o listen... but i think is a obssesion in my mind.. i only think in that F* H... thanks for your support

[WCSDancer2010]

Again:

 

HSV2 "normal" transmission risk ... PER YEAR ... Female to male ... is 5% (with the assumption that you are having sex 2 times a week)

 

Condoms reduce that risk by 50%

 

So now the risk is 2.5% PER YEAR when you use condoms.

 

The risk of pregnancy using Birth Control is only a little less than that.

 

Here in the USA, your risk of dying in a car accident in your lifetime is about 2.5% ... but people get in their cars every day and don't worry about that statistic.

 

If you take an anti-viral you can cut that risk by another 50% down to just over 1%.

 

Question: Where are your outbreaks? The main thing with using condoms is they only *work* on the area that they cover so if your outbreak is on somewhere like your inner thigh, then they won't be as effective.

 

 

[seeker]

im confused. when did you get diagnosed? you have another thread extolling the virtues of a plant you have used for a year.

[WCSDancer2010]

@seeker

 

Just replied to the post you mentioned...haven't thought of Neem as something to use but it's worth consideration.

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4850/what-do-u-think-about-medication-i-dont-use-it-since-1-year-secundary-effects

 

And she's had it 2 years according to her first post

[Cecibuendia]

yess @seeker i have 2 years with H, but my first year was awful, i took acyclovir and my health wasnt good.. bad bad bad... my body felt bad.. and i took the deccision to not take more medicine... only natural stuff and i discover NEEM.. Now im feeling better ( my body) but i have a lot of emotional problems... about my future etc... this is my reality BUT today i want to share with other people my natural medicine to get a good aport to other people ... thanks WCSDancer2010.. u always be here.. kisses

[seeker]

ok. I was a bit confused. thought it was a recent diagnosis and we were heading down the stealth seller path. my bad.

 

heard this recently, really struck me. part of a song by a Chilean artist,

 

thanks to life, which has given me so much.

it gave me laughter and it gave me tears.

with them I distinguish happiness from pain

the two elements that make up my song,

and your song, as well, which is the same song.

and everyones song, which is my very song.

 

your not alone,

to paraphrase Kahlil Gibran in the prophet, your joy can only go as high as your sorrow has deep.

 

so I figure we all got some great times ahead of us!

[Cecibuendia]

thank u seeker

hahaha yeah i know the song in spanish...

Gracias a la vida

que me ha dado tanto

me ha dado la risa y tambien el llanto...

is difficult but we have to go on