rejected before the herpes talk

[perfGentleman]

The only person I had an actual live conversation with, from PS, outed me to my Tinder date before I even got to disclosure.

 

I am thinking of playing the lottery more often.

[forgivenessandpeace]

What? I don't understand. How heinous is someone to disclose "for" you?

 

[perfGentleman]

ok, I'm going back up in my tree.

[willow]

If im hearing this correctly... thats bullshit..

[Melanie]

Wow! Was this individual upset because you were actively searching elsewhere as well?

[Beachdude1984]

How do the two people know each other? Or did the PS gal do some snooping and hacking and email your Tinder gal? I'm kinda lost. We need details! Lol.

[seeker]

yes more info is needed. are you sure it was her? I read that PS had been giving out info to their sister sites.

@forgiveness, about as heinous as someone not disclosing IMHO.

[perfGentleman]

The PS Gal... She seemed ok until we started chatting on Skype. I can't explain it but I just didn't have a good feeling about her.

 

I didn't contact her again.

 

 

Tinder gal and I just had a fun second date. It must have been pretty well since she told her friend about me ( PS gal) who recognized my name and picture.

 

Of course when asked, I was honest.

 

I understand the desire to protect her friend still... I would have preferred she contact me instead of messing this wonderful opportunity.

 

Of course she is freaked out and wants to run far far away from me. I can't blame her for that. *sigh*

 

I'll see if I can calm her down and put things in perspective.

[ivoryrain]

Maybe just giving her some space for a few days will help. Then you can explain to her what H really is and isn't. Most people think it's some terrible disease that alters your life forever and that they WILL contract it no matter what. You can always try the handouts and whatnot from here if she isn't understanding.

[FLNewH]

So, you told PS girl before meeting her in person? Then her friend and you go out. And, girls being girls, this girl shows PS girl your pick and PS girl recognized you and told her friend you have herpes? honestly, it's shitty of anyone to "out" anyone. now, that being said, IF you were going around knowingly having H and just having sex with all these girls and this girl knew, well, ok I see. But, sounds to me like these girls are nothing but drama and you should cut if off with both.

 

And, forgive me, which site is PS?

[seeker]

PS is positive singles.

 

how is it the tinder girl is friends with someone who has H and is so afraid of it?

[perfGentleman]

PS is for positive singles - an STD dating website. I have a profile somewhere there... It was not going to work out, I sensed major incompatibilities.

 

I have not had sex with either of them, was still working up the mental energy to discuss it on coming sunday. I could not imagine they knew each other.

 

It all feels like the first time again, and has triggered - yay! - a brand new OB!

 

It has taken me a long while to come to peace with this. I'm going to try not to get too anxious about this and go live tonight, and probably drink too much. - That is how I got in this trouble anyways...

 

I would imagine her friend would have been a great advocate since she had H too, but she probably didn't take it well that I never messaged her again. Woah...

 

 

 

 

I'm torn between simply forgetting about this or explaining this to her. I mean... I don't want her to think I would have slept with her without telling her ( yes, the opportunity already came and I smoothly avoided it...)

 

@seeker... I don't know.

[FLNewH]

i agree with @inka. don't waste any more time on them.

[WCSDancer2010]

Actually, *if* you manage to talk to Tinder girl, explain to her that you would never not disclose, and that perhaps you could help her get educated about STD's ... ask her is she knows for sure that she's been tested and explain that odds are she has not... AND odds are she has at least one already. Send her the handout info and put it simply that if nothing else, you hope she will get educated so she knows why she needs to make sure all her potential partners have actually been tested because she can't "tell" if they have and she *can* get it with a condom.

 

And if not, well, she just missed a great opportunity to at least get educated, and maybe make a good friend or lover. And that is HER loss :p

[seeker]

my brother if the ladies are telling you she is psycho, she is psycho.

[perfGentleman]

After a long series of text messages, she can't accept the risk. She's really scared. Okay. She was actually nice about the whole thing. And I can't blame her for not wanting to risk her health...

 

Anyways,

THIS SUCKS!!!!

Really, how have I gone from being the selector to the selectee... Am I looking at the wrong people? They only want me for my body and not my mind and my heart! * It is so hard being a guy... *sighs*...

[whitedaisies]

I am so sorry to hear that. Big hug.

 

Not that easy being a girl either....I must confess. We can swap stories. Lol

 

She kind of took the wind out of your sails so to speak. Mourn it for a bit and then move on and realize there are plenty of women that will see beyond herpes and love or at least lust you for your heart, mind and body.

 

She's not the right one....that's all...simple as that. It hurts, it sucks....just means some lucky girl is waiting.

 

Xo

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Hey perfGentleman, agree with whitedaisies. Your gender has nothing to do with it; we all face the same rejection when it comes to having H because of the stigma and because of people's perception of the risk on their own health. Some people will always see H as too great a risk, and that's ok. At least we are considerate enough to give them the choice. Others, won't be bothered by it as much. Believe that the right woman will see beyond any superficial qualities and beyond the risk of this virus, to completely accept you and appreciate you for all the amazing things you have to offer. Trust that the people that walk out of your life are meant to, and that right girl won't. At the very least, be glad you found out her acceptance level now rather than weeks from now when you may have been more invested. Don't let this one shitty experience get you down, a gorgeous girl, inside and out, will surely come your way soon!

[WCSDancer2010]

Really, how have I gone from being the selector to the selectee... Am I looking at the wrong people? They only want me for my body and not my mind and my heart! * It is so hard being a guy... *sighs*...

 

LOL - welcome to our world.....

 

At least she gave you the time to text and discuss it with you. I hope you sent her the info and suggested she might want to be tested so she knows her status? She may be in for a rude awakening :p

 

You will get through this .... IMO Tinder isn't the greatest place to look for love ... seems like a hook-up app to me, not a place where the "keepers" will be hanging out :/

 

(((HUGS)))