Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Just a bad day

Recommended Posts

So recently diagnosed emotional rollercoaster girl here and today sucked.


I work at a hospital and I was over in the ER today. I was talking with a nurse and HUC when the conversation turned to a patient that had come in and got diagnosed with many sti's, one of which was H. They went on to say how gross and dirty the patient was and that omg H was forever. How gross.


I'm hoping my face didn't turn the brightest shade of shame. But that felt like quite a stab to the heart. They don't know my status so I got to witness how people really feel about H. And it hurts. And doesn't give me hope. Im not promiscuous. I'm not dirty. I wanted to shout all the facts about H in their face. But I kept silent and just wanted to go hide in a hole instead.


This is my new reality. This is how people feel. I feel like I'll never find someone to accept me when people can so callously tall like that. What makes it worse is that I know I use to be one of them.


So my question is how to deal with this and not let it get to you? Can it even be done?

Link to comment

yeppers it can. I have a fairly dark sense of humor and fairly politically incorrect so none of this bothers me. if people want to be ignorant let them.


also, did you see the person? it could have been a street urchin or a prostitute or such and the reaction was to that. and many STIs might make people uncomfortable. id not let it get to you. don't let their ignorance dictate how your day is going to go.


you cant fix stupid.


ive also heard that hospital workers have pretty sick senses of humor, coping mech.

Link to comment


As long as they were in a private area around just staff, it's not a violation.


I'm sorry they made you feel that way (hugs). I agree with seeker. I work in a developmental center and a coworker told me to make sure I wear gloves while dressing a particular resident because he has H and she kind of cringed. That was a few weeks before I was diagnosed and I kept thinking back to that afterward. I now just tell myself that she likely just doesn't understand what H really is and isn't, and it can be scary to anyone that H is with you forever. I think it's all fear based.

Link to comment

I've worked in the hospital for a long time and was an RN. I'll have to admit that they taught us in nursing school there herpes can be contracted through a set of gloves so I always double gloved before when I had a patient with herpes. I've recently been diagnosed and have even gone so far as to wear gloves when I'm wiping during an outbreak. I know exactly how you feel, and just know that you're not alone. I haven't figured out exactly how to cope with this myself yet but I know that it will get easier over time. We're here for you!

Link to comment



I'll have to admit that they taught us in nursing school there herpes can be contracted through a set of gloves


Are you effing KIDDING me??? What a load of CROCK!!!! No wonder some nurses are ignorant. They were taught by idiots :(


It's actually not a "bad" idea (tho not really necessary) to use gloves when you are *first* diagnosed until the 4 month period is over so you don't autoinnoculate yourself, but after that, it's not necessary. I've had Herpes 35 years and lets just say I've had my hands on myself plenty of times (sorry @seeker!) , even with mild OB's and it hasn't moved anywhere ;)




So - hows about this? I would approach the Head of the ER. Tell them what happened, and tell them that you have studied Herpes and STD's (you can always get more informed later if my thought appeals to you) ... and that you realized that the staff are really poorly educated about the reality of STD's, how most people get them are just "normal" people, and how important it is for the Nurses and Doctors to be trained in how to be compassionate towards the newly diagnosed and properly informed and up to date about the facts that the people need to be told. Maybe you can help to design some kind of STD training for the staff? You could use a lot of the materials here for the Herpes part and the CDC has some GREAT materials that you could likely print out too.


By doing so you can help others who are diagnosed in the future and it may help you to feel that you are taking your power back.


and one last thought


hey went on to say how gross and dirty the patient was and that omg H was forever. How gross.


Well, perhaps the person was a drug addict, who is living on the streets and trading sex for drugs (certainly sounds like it) ... people tend to forget that even these people are HUMAN BEINGS ... so that would be another whole training that maybe the ER management could address as well at another time :(

Link to comment

Generally, HSV prefers the oral and genital areas and the vast majority of people get it in those places. But for some, mostly those in the first few weeks of an OB (who don't have antibodies to fight the virus and whose systems are already on overload dealing with the initial OB's) they may pass is to pretty much any other area of the body.


We have one gentleman who autoinnoculated his HEELS by sitting cross legged during meditation in a robe ... the thing is you almost have to try to pass it to these areas (he would have been sitting for quite a while with the heel up against the new OB ... that was likely open and weeping). Good hygine measures are the best defense here... especially when you have an OB ... make sure to wash your hands after you touch any area where you may have an OB.


You *can* also get it on the nail bed on your hands (Herpes Whitlow) and in the eyes (Ocular Herpes). The former usually happens to someone who really chews their nails/has skin cracks, etc who may handle an OB or area that is shedding heavily. The latter is mostly seen in kids who have Oral Herpes as kids don't think and will scratch the sore then immediately touch their eyes. All are quite treatable.


Lastly, wrestlers get what is known as Herpes Gladatorium ... HSV1 on their body acquired while wrestling someone who likely has an active cold sore. Most of it is in young wrestlers (High School/College) who may have a number of wrestling bouts throughout the day at a meet and who don't shower between bouts which would likely stop most of those transmissions.


Now, don't panic... all these things are QUITE rare in reality .... but like all knowledge, knowing that this can happen can help to remind you to keep up your simple hygine methods, that's all. ;)

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...