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just waiting

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So it's been roughly a few weeks since the diagnosis. Some days are great it may rarely cross my mind or drive me insane. Unfortunately though I am just waiting for the next ob. It consumes my thoughts. I use the bathroom & I always check. I have a bad and I instantly worry that I'll give myself an ob. Just paranoid now. I haven't really told anyone. They won't understand & I don't want to be judged. So I don't talk about it. This is the only place I have to vent really. So thanks for hearing for hearing my worries.

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