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Herpes and Forgiveness

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Well its been two months since ive been diagnosed with herpes, and i keep telling myself that i need to forgive and let go but i can't seem to do that im having a hard time and i don't know what to do.... I've talked to my "giver" and it seems like he just doesn't care. i really just don't know what to do... :(

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It's really hard to feel forgiving in the ealry days gifted...if the person you got it from doesn't seem to care. Forgiving is a process and sometimes its one step forward and then either one step back or getting stuck for a bit...


You wrote 'I don't know what to do' twice. I always look at what I don't want to do when I feel like that...if I don't want to feel angry I find ways to deal with that, if I feel unforgiving I practice forgiveness meditations to let it go, if I don't want to cry I just let it happen and let go.


Is the guy still in your life? If he is then think about why you want him there if he is not supportive of you...you deserve more. If he isn't then be thankful...his lack of care and loving is something you don't need!


Keep reading posts on here and posting...we are here for you and understand what you are going through. You will get through this and it really is an opportunity for you to grow and be the best person you can be :-)

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What Lelani said. :)


I would also add...when I don't know what to do about something, I do the next right thing for me. That might be finishing a project or taking a nap or going for a walk...it might be a lot of things. Making a habit of doing the next right thing for you will teach you how to take care of yourself in this new reality you are living.


Surround yourself with supportive and caring people. Guard your anxious thoughts and do what you can to replace them with positive ones. When they come, challenge them...because what you say to yourself is quite powerful.


Keep posting, friend and know you are loved just as you are.





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I'll second what these two have said. How about go ahead and take the pressure off yourself to forgive right now. There is no established timeline for clemency and closure - it would be a lot to ask you to deal with a big, new, scary diagnosis, take care of your body in a new way, try to find some emotional stability, social support and find the energy to be forgiving all at the same time. All will fall into place, some pieces just take more time and this person clearly deserves as much caring and grace as they've shown to you: none. Save it for yourself right now.

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As much as you feel sad about it...and I soooooo do know that feeling...think about all the things you are thankful for in your life and think up some new things you could try. You will feel up and down for a while emotionally for a while and forgiveness comes in its own time. Eat healthy, excercise every day, do things that you love and be around people who make you feel good. Leslie is right...save all this for yourself and healing will come.


Try writing a journal...I just read mine from my first episode and diagnosis just over a year ago. I can't believe how far I have come, how much I have grown and how much better I feel (despite a few sad times along the way, but they get shorter and I know how to deal with them :-) ).


(and I am glad he isn't in your life anymore...he wouldn't have been good for you) x

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