Finding my giver

[ivoryrain]

Initially, I didn't want to know who gave me H. Then I found out I had chlamydia as well. As chlamydia may have affected my fertility, I would like to have an estimate of how long I had it before I was treated.

 

I know that I did not get these (or at least chlamydia) from my boyfriend before we broke up around October. I was tested for chlamydia when I had a yeast infection. If I got it from my boyfriend, it was after we got back together in December. He dated an ex who had slept with at least two new people.

 

Anyway, the second person I had sex with was tested on the 30th. He told me he would tell me his results. On the 9th, I knew he had to have had his results, so I asked what they were. He said he was negative. I asked for a picture of his results. He said he threw it away and agreed to request another copy. Riiiggghhhhtttt.

 

Does this seem sketchy to anyone else? If someone said they may have contacted STDs from me and I said I would send my results, I damn well would do so the second I got my negative result lol. I wouldn't want to be the blame. This guy was also pretty sketchy in general - did the whole charm, wine and dine, so to speak...then asked me to have sex with his roommates after I had sex with him...like wtf... Should I press the issue to see about getting a copy of his results? I feel like I have a right to know because this involves my health.

 

I know that I will likely never know for sure who my giver is. I just would like a rough estimate of how long I had chlamydia so I can let my OBGYN know when the time comes for me to try to conceive if I run into any issues. I assume whoever gave me H was who gave me chlamydia, so this guy would be the first person I could've contacted it from since I was negative just a few weeks prior to sleeping with him. Plus, if I contacted it from this guy, then two other people are at risk (one is my rapist and it would serve him right, no matter how callous that makes me sound lol).

[WCSDancer2010]

I assume whoever gave me H was who gave me chlamydia,

 

You know what they say when you assume anything?

 

You make an ASS out of U and ME.

 

It's really not a good thing to assume that one person gave you both things.... that sort of buys into the "well, the one with H *must* be a slut so they likely have other things" mindset .... and it's just not good to get attached to that kind of thinking in any way, because it could also limit your ability to get to the bottom of this.

 

So - *I* would start by finding out who gave you Chlamydia ... tell them that *this* is what is important to you and *BTW* they need to get tested for Herpes as well because you just found out the hard way that H isn't included in the testing so you got that as well. That takes the pressure off of them about H as far as whether they gave it to you. If you happen to get someone to tell you the TRUTH about both then that is a bonus.

 

As for the guy - sounds sketchy... esp as he seems to like to play with girls who may be more flexible in their sleeping arrangements. I would ask him one more time, *nicely* to see a copy... if you don't get it, well, you can't force it.

 

That said, knowing when you got it really won't change ANYTHING ... you either are or are not affected by it and you will have to deal with the fertility issue when the time comes.... but knowing when you got it won't change the treatment. So really it's only for YOUR peace of mind. And if getting the info is bringing you this much stress, maybe you need to think about whether it's in your best interests to pursue it any further ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[ivoryrain]

@WCSDancer2010

 

I never thought about it that way. I just figured it was more likely because of the higher chances of broken skin, etc., but I figure most people don't have sex during outbreaks sooo never mind lol.

 

That's the approach I've taken with it. I've made it clear that I'm not angry with whomever gave me H or chlamydia because I believe that he honestly had no idea and it takes two to tango. I basically said I'd just like to know to try to build a rough timeframe for how long I was infected before treatment, as chlamydia could have potentially ruined my chances if having children. Unlikely, but I've gotten the shit end of the stick in so many aspects of life already, so I wouldn't be surprised lol.

 

The other guy has yet to be tested as of Sunday. I also want to know if I potentially infected him if I got it from the aforementioned one. It's probably better for my mental health if I don't know this part (guilt), but I feel like I need to know if I infected someone, even if I obviously had no idea I was carrying the virus and he clearly didn't insist on taking more precautions. To be honest, he likely would've been exposed before me if he's honest about his sexual history.

 

Oh well. I can't force anyone to tell the truth or give me proof. I feel like if he says he's negative and won't show me documents, he's lying though lol. I'll probably ask one more time and then drop it with him.

[forgivenessandpeace]

I feel like if he says he's negative and won't show me documents, he's lying though lol.

 

Agreed.

 

I know it's perhaps childish but I wanted an admission from my giver. He lied about it and I just wanted the courtesy of finally, the truth. Pfffttt. Right. It didn't change anything anyway.