Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

This is my story

Recommended Posts

I am new to the forum, but am not so new to having H. I have just hit my two year mark since I have contracted H, and believe me it hasn't always been such an easy road. I can come to terms with the fact that I have it, and that my life has changed (but not for the worst) I did think my life was over, at first, I hated myself, I felt dirty, and all of that. So here's how it happened


I met this, what seemed to be, awesome guy. We hung out, had some drinks, and had a good time being in each others company. We got into the heat of the moment.....but at the last moment (before we went all the way) I decided I didn't want to do it (he wasn't wearing a condom) I told him no, and to stop. He didn't. He ended up going all the way. I'm sure we all know what happens from there, right? I felt ashamed, and that it was my fault it had happened. What's worse, he asked me oh-so non-chalantly "do you have the 'herps?. I felt like, even though I told him no, I could have done more to stop it....therefore I had to be part of the blame. I thought if I went to the police to file a report, they would just scoff at me and tell me I shouldn't have gotten into that predicament in the first place.


I know now that it wasn't my fault. That he should have known that when someone says no, or stop, that it means to stop whatever you're doing.


After the fact, when I had my first outbreak, I tried talking with him about what I had gotten from him. He just made me out to be some easy floozy that's gets around, and that he doesn't have that dirty shit. He then blocked all communications from me. It was heartbreaking, and I was devistated. I felt alone, and betrayed.


But there is a plus side to this story! I learned more about myself than I thought I knew. I am much more cautious when it comes to the people I see, and make it a point (if it comes to a sexual situation) that I tell that person about my sexual history. I've made better decisions, and awesome changes. I don't let this little skin condition get me down. Think about it like this....'it could always be worse'


Thanks for listening. Maybe this helped some people out.

Link to comment

Thanks so much for sharing your story taurus_lady! Your story sounds similar to mine and my lessons are similar as well. I felt the same way at first and then, like you, I realized it was actually a blessing in disguise. I do make much better choices now and, for the first time in my life, have started to finally realize my own worth. I have much higher expectations for a partner and I am no longer willing to settle. None of that would have happened without our viral friend. Thank you for sharing both your story and your lessons for others to see that although this can be a life changing experience, it is actually for the good!


All the very best for the holiday season and here is to an amazing 2013!!



Link to comment

Thanks for the kind words Brenda!! I shared this because I feel like my words could be helpful to others who may be feeling this way right now. Ya know, even though its a scary thing, and you think your life is over, it isn't!! I don't let this little skin condition get in my way.


I recently had a baby girl (7 1/2 months ago lol) and when I told her dad about it, he was fine (we are no longer together though) he never contracted it (obvious it was unprotected, I had a baby lol) the one thing that stuck out was that he was ok with it. I made sure we were both tested for std's (other than what I had already)


When I gave birth, I, also, did not pass it on to my daughter (so verrrry thankful for that) I just want people to know that this condition doesn't have to run their life for the worst.


Merry christmas to all!

Link to comment

Great attitude and you are right - this does not need to ruin anyone's life. My ex and I were together for 5 years. I didn't know then I had it so we didn't use protection (although if anything was amiss I abstained) and he never got it. I made him get tested after we broke up because I had an outbreak soon after he left. I was hoping I got it from him and I could blame him, but nope. It's not life threatening and the chance of getting it with the right precautions in pretty small. And even if they do get it, life goes on, as we can all attest to. :)


Merry Christmas to you and your lovely baby as well!! xo

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...