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Anyone else HSV 2 + with no symptoms ever?


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I have recently been diagnosed with HSV 2 - but have never ever had symptoms. None, nada, not even a pimple that could be it.

I have been scouring the internet and this site for answers and information. How do I know where my viral shedding is happening when I've never had a site outbreak? And how infectious am I?

 

Also - my ex boyfriend has not gotten tested yet!!!! Who does this?! I mean, when the guy I was dating and had sex (with a condom) 2 x told me his ex girlfriend had tested positive for hsv 2 (also no symptoms) the first thing I did was run out and get a test, even though I thought I was negative...I still got the test!

Even though I know there is no way to know who gave it to whom- I still want to know if he is positive or negative.

I was so mad at him for ignoring my pleas and being a total ass that I went ahead and told the girl he has been having an affair with for 2 years (the reason I broke up with him), that I tested positive for hsv 2 and that she should too.

I'm heartbroken from our break up....and now this is just another stab in my broken heart.

 

I have told my ex husband and several lovers I've had since I got divorced in 2008. Because honestly I don't know how long I've had this virus and if I've put others at risk. It's been really enormously crushing to my soul. To admit I have this virus to past lovers and my ex husband. So far I've had one guy tell me he is "clean" - but I told him to make sure he had a herpes test because they don't always test for herpes unless you ask for it specifically. And that was the guy who didn't wear a condom! We were drunk, fooling around and all of a sudden he was in me, sans condom!

 

All the men who have responded to me are grateful that I have disclosed this. One guy I had protected sex with the 3 days before I found out about the herpes has come up negative but still worried because he doesn't know if he just doesn't have antibodies yet.

 

I feel like a monster.

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Hey there, please don't feel bad. From what I have learned, many people have HSV2 and have no idea they have it. You could have gotten it from any of your partners in the past and the virus just stayed dormant in your nervous system. You just never know. My guy friend I possibly contracted both HSV1 and HSV2 from had no symptoms either. Come to think of it now though he did complain about lower back pain, but he is in the military and PTs alot, so it could've been overuse of muscles or it could've been the virus. Til this day he hasn't had one outbreak, while I on the other hand suffered greatly and still am, probably because I had a recent exposure so mine was really bad (2nd week in). So yes, depending on the person and how the virus effects them, they may not display any signs at all and if they do it could be so mild they may think nothing of it. With you being asymptomatic its hard to say when you are shedding the virus but you have the potential to shed it at any time. Usually though, during an outbreak is when its most contagious I believe. Taking antiviral medication along with condom use helps greatly reduce the risk of passing it on to others. It also reduces the chance of getting outbreaks if you haven't had any yet. I hope this helps. :) stay strong you will get through this. You are not a monster, you are one of very many who are in the same boat, and its okay. You still have your life and your health, and you have people here that can relate and support you, and thats the most important thing now isn't it? :)

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@jax13

 

I feel like a monster

 

Reading that rips my heart out because you are ANYTHING but that. How can you be a monster when you didn't know? A monster would expose people INTENTIONALLY ... you didn't do that.... and you have gone above and beyond by going so far back in your ex's/lovers ... again ... not something a monster would do. So PLEASE, be gentle on yourself.... your situation is a result of the policies in this country around Herpes, not because of anything YOU did. You were part of the 80% who didn't know they have it... and that's NOT YOUR FAULT!

 

So I went back and looked and I don't see if you got your test results numbers ... that would be useful to make sure you don't have a possible false positive result.

 

As for where you are shedding and when, sadly without an OB you won't know ... but you can take anti-virals and given you are not having OB's that would take your risk factors of passing it to a guy down to less than your risk of getting pregnant while using a condom.

 

my ex boyfriend has not gotten tested yet!!!! Who does this?!

 

People who are in denial or who are afraid to hear the (possible) result. People with cancerous growths do it all the time :(

 

I'm heartbroken from our break up....and now this is just another stab in my broken heart.

 

Why are you heartbroken? You got rid of a cheater and a liar! Who wants that in their life? Yeah, I'm sure you wish he was different, but he isn't, his behavior after you told him just backs up his inability to face the truth, even with himself.... now you are free to find a man who loves and treasures YOU!

 

(((HUGS)))

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My Dr at Kaiser said the test had no numbers, just positive or negative. I have made an appt at Planned Parenthood on Monday to get retested. I have to pay out of pocket but I don't care, I'd rather talk to someone who knows what they are doing when it comes to talking about and diagnosing STDs.

 

I feel like my Kaiser Dr really let me down in so many ways. She seemed caring but really when it came to this ...when I asked for a STD panel of tests and she skipped the herpes test I just don't get that. Stating the tests were unreliable and that I already knew I had Herpes 1. I assumed I was tested for everything. I know that doesn't make any difference in my status as positive or negative now BUT it would be nice to know so I don't go spreading it around. Because I got tested on Oct 20th but didn't have sex with the one guy who also tested positive for HSV 2 until Oct 25th. And it was protected sex. I got some of my tests back by then online, but not all (for privacy reasons), and since she said "if you don't hear from me you are all good". I assumed I was STD free.

I know I'm agonizing over this a bit too much but it is all I can think about right now.

 

I have anti-virals (acyclovir) for herpes 1 - but I only take them when I feel an outbreak coming on in my lower lip. Which lately has been maybe 4 or 5 times a year. So I think I will request to get on a daily regimen of antivirals just to be on the safe side.

 

Ah- I know I should be glad to kick my ex boyfriend to the curb, and for the most part I am, but of course we spent 5 years together and I thought he was my best friend, my companion, my lover....and I thought I was over him too but he showed up in the same places I hang out with the girl he cheated on me with and I didn't realize how much that would hurt. Seeing him with her was a little much for me. Especially because she lives 3 hours away...I didn't expect to run into them. Then the very next day I find out I have herpes 2. Just a double whammy.

 

I know I'll get over him and make peace with myself but right now I'm a bit emotionally tender.

 

 

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I know exactly what you mean. Last year, when I found out I contracted Chlamydia from an ex bf, I went right away and demanded ALL STD tests, and I thought thats what I was getting. But since I didn't have any signs of having Herpes, they ruled it out and just tested me for Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphillis, and HIV. I thought I was in the clear. There is a chance I could've already had it and for some reason having sex with my new partner triggered it. But I find that unlikely, since I had 2 partners before him with similar sex styles and nothing happened. I didn't get numbers on my test just a positive too. As for your ex, yes be glad it is over and though its not easy to get over a longterm relationship, you are no longer having to deal with the lies and the emotional stress of it anymore. I'm 100% certain that new girl hes walking around with probably has it too. Now you can move on from him and find peace within yourself and meet someone who will love you for the person you are, and them being ok with you having HSV2 will show you they are worth being in your life. :)

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@jax13

 

Your Dr is just following the Protocol set out by the CDC ... and as most Dr's don't live with Herpes, they can only go by what they are told, which isn't much... most have no clue about the WB option for instance.....

 

This is why our work here is so important ... to get the message of why it's important to US to know our status ... why it's important to US to not see more people suffering needlessly.... why it's important to US to stamp out the stigma. They only see you for 10 minutes in their office. They don't see you struggling every day, blaming yourself for *possibly* passing on something you didn't even know you had. To them, it's just a skin condition, so they don't understand why people become suicidal after diagnosis .... this reaction totally befuddles them. They don't understand the frustration some have when they can't seem to get their OB's under control.

 

We hope to eventually change that. I've been developing a questionaire that we will be publishing soon to get a real feel for the actual EXPERIENCE of those who have herpes, and the actual knowledge base of those who at least "believe" they are H-. If we can get enough filled out I hope this will give us the ammo we need (combined with our experience here .... where we see the whole range of the experience) to get these policies changed.

 

Watch out for the announcement when it comes out ... I'm hoping for a minimum of 1000 to be filled out ... we will be asking people to pass it on to everyone they know (you can say you have a friend who is doing a study for a class they are in..... ;) ) because we will need a broad range of cultures, ages, and such to get a good idea of the REALITY of the current way that Herpes is dealt with by the CDC.

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Hey Jax13N, in the same boat. I had no 'typical' symptoms, and asked for herpes test specifically, cause I had had unprotected sex and just wanted an 'all clear' for peace of mind moving forward. My doctor gave me a funny look, but went ahead with it anyways. Bam, tested positive. I didn't get any antibody levels with the test, and unless I get the western blot, I won't know with certainty, but i've accepted this fate, and when I meet someone who accepts this too, then I would want us both to get tested together. In the meantime, I am trying to find signs and symptoms. Looking back, I did have flu-like symptoms, and so did my likely giver. I personally think I might have it internally, which is difficult to decipher, as you apparently don't feel much pain. I intend to try to set up swabs and exams to get more confirmation on that... but all that to say, had I never asked for the test, I would have never known. crazy.

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Wow, reading this is insane. It baffles me. Jax13, I wanna say don't feel bad, but you can't help it yet. That is going to be apart of the healing process. The more informed you become with HSV the more it will settle in and you can start taking steps to figure out what you wanna do and how you want to live with it. For me, it's still hard trying to figure out how I got it and when, but I won't lie, I've gone off an assumption and research of signs and symptoms that I've had and I put two and two together with my lifestyle on how I contracted it and who I was with during that period of time. It's not easy determining these things and I never had any symptoms before my outbreak this past summer either so it makes it feel like you want to punish yourself by blaming yourself and possibly that other person. And I wanna say, even with the person you may have gotten it from, I wasn't mad at my partner bc dude, a lot of people don't know they have it and that is the problem. People are so unaware that this is just out there. And the people that do know, unfortunately live in fear because of how society has put such a disgusting label on herpes. It's really really really hard to talk about this. My sister had a friend borrow her lip gloss and she informs my sister, Don't worry I don't have herpes. So, the way it's discussed is nasty and gross and ew, how can you have that??? All this crap that we are taught about a "SKIN CONDITION." But what I would recommend to you is see your doctor (find a new one if you aren't happy with the one you have) and be blunt and bold and put your foot down, even if that means putting in some attitude and demand the help and info. so you can figure out what your symptoms are. I was recommended to an allergist and a dermatologist...while still seeing my obgyn. But honestly, I found everything on this never ending portal of information, THE BEAUTIFUL INTERNET. And come on this site and read read read, we are the people with HSV so we have not only experience and knowledge, but we live it everyday and do our best to actually listen to each other and help one another figure it out. So my advice to you, find a dr. who can actually help, go online and read about it (don't look at google images) come on this site and ask if you ever have a question someone will always be there to help you. And dude, you are NOT a monster. Even if you feel like you could have been different or done this or that or what if this or that...No, stop....you didn't know. You have a lot guilt, but just try to stay on medication and that will help you not feel so self conscience about spreading it and don't listen to other people who are just being negative. And as far as your ex goes, no one deserves an ass so, go do things to distract yourself...read, jump, run, anything...just don't stay in this funk. It will get better. I can promise you that.

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Thank you all for your responses - it means a lot. I have since had a second test & opinion - this time at Planned Parenthood, and yes, it was still positive. @wcsdancer2010 - BUT this time they gave me a number to go along with the result - it was a 4.38. They explained to me that to them, a positive result is anything over 1.10. So it seems I've had this awhile and not known it. And the person who triggered this testing, he had it too, and it's unlikely he gave it to me because it was only a month since I was tested and I don't think my numbers would have been that high. Very coincidental.

I finally broke down and told my ex's new girl that she should get tested. So now she is finally getting him to go to the Dr and get tested. Otherwise he'd never do it, and she should know what she's getting into. I hated doing it, telling this person I didn't even know, or care to know...that I have herpes. It sucked. But it's done and hopefully she can get him to the Dr.

If he doesn't have it I will be very surprised, since we had a 6 year relationship. We didn't always use condoms the proper way - only when he was close to "coming" he would get one on.

I've been reading the Managing Herpes book, and having some disclosure dreams. Yes, herpes is even invading my sex dreams! what a bummer!

 

I don't feel like my usual sexual self. It really changes my outlook on sexual partners and my habits. Not that I was super promiscuous...but I have a healthy sexual appetite and not used to having a known STD/STI. No more casual sex one night stands....maybe that's a good thing (if you've ever woken up next to someone you wouldn't have normally taken home had you not been a bit drunky...you know what I mean lol)

 

Basically I'm starting to accept my diagnosis.

 

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Yes - places like PP consider anything over 1.1 "positive" but anything up to 3.5 can be a false positive ... given you are well over that number, yes, odds are you have had it awhile. At least you now know for sure :)

 

I don't feel like my usual sexual self. It really changes my outlook on sexual partners and my habits. Not that I was super promiscuous...but I have a healthy sexual appetite and not used to having a known STD/STI. No more casual sex one night stands....maybe that's a good thing (if you've ever woken up next to someone you wouldn't have normally taken home had you not been a bit drunky...you know what I mean lol)

 

Well, for one, there ARE people who manage to continue casual sex ... but you have to be ok with rejection and able to have "the talk" in a way that educates quickly ... and do what you can to protect the partner (be on anti-virals and use condoms) ... however, at least the fact that you have to slow down long enough to consider if you want to wake up next to that person would be a "positive" part of being positive ;)

 

Here's 3 casual sex stories:

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2056/semi-success-i-dont-know-just-read-it

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3271/first-disclosure-was-a-success-i-can-breathe-now-

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3368/my-one-night-wonder

 

And an old discussion that re-surfaced recently:

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/70/herpes-disclosure-and-casual-sex

 

Not that you have to go back to that ... but do know that the option isn't completely gone ... just how you approach it has..... ;)

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