new here - does tingle mean I'm having another herpes outbreak?

[cariboo]

Hi Im new here. Im 44 and was just diagnosed with hsv2. im heartbroken. Ive been married for 16 years. Throughout the years ive been plagued with yeast infections but now am wondering if they were in fact small outbreaks. I havent told my husband yet. Too scared. I dont think he has been cheating, but we have been having many marital issues and im sure he will think i have been.

I found a small blister christmas morning. my sores have healed but i still feel the tingle that isnt going away. dr gave me some valtrex that helps but tingle is still there. Does this mean i am having another outbreak? why would i get this now?

[YogaJ12]

Hi and welcome, Currently experiencing my third outbreak. Was diagnosed in september the week of my birthday. Mine are mild also, I get tingling in my left leg and mild burning and then boom tiny bumps appears around my anus. Luckily they aren't that painful but I know what you are going through. I am on valtrex suppressive therapy. Are you doing suppressive therapy? You definitely need to have the conversation with your husband so you both can be educated about the virus. I would reference the handouts with statistics and also have him get tested as he could of been a carrier for years. You have nothing to be ashamed about 1 in 6 people have the virus. You could of mistaken them for something else especially if they were extremely mild.

 

[YogaJ12]

Are you going through anything extremely stressful?? Stress is the number one trigger.

 

[cariboo]

Yes, lots of stress right now, lost two very close friends within a year of one another, and had a tragic horse riding accident and my horse died. Then the marital issues...

i know he will think I've been cheating. I'm so worried about telling him. We havent had sex in about a year. I dont know what to do.

 

 

[cariboo]

My sores were gone about a week ago but the constant tingling is making me crazy. Will it always feel this way?

 

[MMissouri]

Since you are already having marital problems I can understand not wanting to disclose, but you have to. Try keeping in mind that he could also have it. Like the poster above suggests, get the handouts. Educate yourself before you approach him, it will help you if it he freaks out. Maybe you could start the conversation with, "Do you remember how I was constantly getting yeast infections over the years? I found out that it might not have been yeast but something else entirely..."

 

 

The tingling etc will get better. The first year is the worst.

Best of luck with your disclosure.

[cariboo]

Im wondering why the tingling now and not before?

[WCSDancer2010]

Yes, lots of stress right now, lost two very close friends within a year of one another, and had a tragic horse riding accident and my horse died. Then the marital issues...

 

Ah - there you go! The client that I had (who had H for 30 yrs before her first OB) was going through a very stressful time as well. I say that H is a "First Responder" to stress ... it comes out the most when people are physically or emotionally stressed... especially once it is established.

 

So that explains why you ended up with a full on OB. And yes, your "yeast infections" may well have been some prodromes on a low level. I had it for years before I found out my "yeast infections" (that often didn't clear properly with Difulcan) and "rashes" may well have been Herpes. I actually gave it to my then Hubby because while we were STD tested before we got married, H wasn't included and 35 yrs ago there was even less info on H.

 

You *may* want to show him this conversation ... so he can see that your situation is actually much more common than people realize ... it's just that people don't talk about it and the CDC's testing policies perpetuate this ignorance around the virus.

 

As for the prodromes ... your stress activated the virus ... up til now it's been hiding in the nerve ganglion and thus you had no symptoms ... and your body had *just enough* antibodies to keep it there. Now that it's activated, you are getting the symptoms and your body will need to produce more antibodies to knock it back to it's ganglion home ;)

 

Sorry you have been going through so much. Perhaps this will be a time for you and your hubby to get into couples counseling, to look seriously at your relationship and figure out what is best for both of you AND your kids. :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[cariboo]

Thank you, Im an absolute mess right now. Im going to talk to a nurse i think at an STI clinic and get more facts to show him. I hate the fact that i will have to prove my innocence.... But i know how i would feel if he told me the same.

[WCSDancer2010]

Yep - it would be understandable - especially in your current circumstances ... that's a good idea to go to the STI clinic to get something to show him.

 

This paper from the CDC may help ... with the quotes I include highlighted when you print it out:

 

http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes-detailed.htm

 

How common is genital herpes?

 

In the United States, an estimated 87.4% of 14–49 year olds infected with HSV-2 have never received a clinical diagnosis.

 

And why you would never have known:

 

How is genital herpes diagnosed?

 

CDC does not recommend screening for HSV-1 or HSV-2 in the general population.

 

Good luck - we are pulling for you here to work things out :)

 

 

[cariboo]

thank you. i was going to tell him today, but i think ill wait until i get to a printer and print those articles out for him to read. you have no idea how much i appreciate your kindness. Im absolutely devastated about this. I fear that my carelessness for my sexual health while in my 20s has caught up to me. And i think ill be paying a big price for it

[WCSDancer2010]

I hope not ...

 

For one, HE may well have it and he could have given it to you years ago and you just finally had an OB ...

 

And if he leaves you and goes back out on the dating world, he's running a BIG risk of hooking up with someone in that 87.4% of people who have no idea they have H and could thus pass it on to him anyway :/

 

He needs to get that message ... I hope he does for your sake. Sounds like even though you haven't had sex, there's still something there that you want to preserve. Maybe, just maybe, this is what you both needed to shake things up and make you face the REAL issues that need to be faced to save your relationship ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[cariboo]

He can be pretty thick headed. Likes to get loud. I will try to show him the info. I know he will go nuts for a day or two, hopefully he will begin to think after he calms down.

[WCSDancer2010]

Good luck..... We'll be pulling for you over here ...

[cariboo]

Well, I told my husband tonight. Wow, he didnt get mad at all. In fact, he said he might have given it to me because years ago he had some bumps on his penis long before we met, and also he has cold sores a lot.

[WCSDancer2010]

Wow... so glad for you that this part went smoothly! That's the thing with H ... many people had "something"... ignored it and it went dormant/silent so the person shrugs it off ... and then it pops up years later... it's a sneaky little bastard :(

 

So now, you get to focus on something more important ... the relationship and the family. Pulling for you there as well. Please... whatever you BOTH do... don't stay together for fear of not finding someone because you now know you have herpes... that is the very LAST reason to stay together... so do what you need to do there and we are here to support you through that and to answer anything you need to know about Herpes.

 

(((HUGS)))

[cariboo]

Yeah, lots to work on. This has just put another layer to it for sure.

Thank you