Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

  • lifestyle guides

Your first herpes outbreak experience?

Recommended Posts

After my blood test confirmed both types of HSV, my doctor said I was exposed suggesting I have the virus but I haven't have any symptoms as of yet. My ex and I split up in June of 2012 and he said he got it sometime in May. . He cheated, go figure.


My doctor is one of the greatest most supportive I've heard about. He said many men and woman have the virus and don't know it or pay attention to what certain symptoms they could be having. I asked what to look for and he gave me a general idea but disclosed, not everyone is the same and each persons experience is different so its important to pay close attention to your own body. I was very emotionally upset and nearly had a break down in his office during my counseling session but he was great. He said i want you to look at this virus like an annoying mosquito that keeps buzzing about and finally bites you. We see mosquitos here only certain times of the year and hopefully never get a mosquito bite but if we do, maybe one or two throughout the year. HSV is that mosquito, it can show up at any given time unknown but, like a mosquito bite, doesn't last forever just a few days. Yes, the virus is in your body but the outbreak isn't there 24/7. We will give you medication to help ease discomfort when you have your first OB and go from there. To me, that made it sound much better than what I've been hearing.


He says herpes in the medical field is like a skin irritation which at most times is contagious, but unfortunately society and social media assume the worst and aren't educated enough to really know what it is. Socially it may be worse for you than medically. He says so many people are infected and don't know it because like me, they haven't had an outbreak... So this is where I'm going...


When you noticed your actual first herpes outbreak, what was your experience like? As a woman, what should/could I expect?


Link to comment

My first outbreak was a couple months ago. Don't wanna scare you but it was vert painful and was a cluster of lots of sores on my taint . I remember getting a mirror and looking at them and started crying because I knew it wasn't anything good! I don't have insurance and planned parenthood didn't have any openings for awhile. I cried and cried all week. It was uncomfortable and hurt to pee and on top of that I started my period. Finally got into the doc but they couldn't prescribe me anything until my blood results came back. They called me and told me I was negative and called in a prescription in right away. I think it took a week after that to go away. In your situation you already know you have it so I would suggest taking pills every day to lower your chance of having one and when you do it won't be as bad. I've been taking the medicine every day and haven't had on episode since my first one.

Link to comment

Hello and welcome!

As a women the first ob is the worse one your going to get. Compared to men,

Women get it worse. For me I always got them.. I always got an ob. But right now I'm on daily depressive therapy which is helping.

You should expect for your first ob to be a serious discomfort and itching. I got on and off fevers but like your doctor said everyone is different some people only get one ob a year or none at all. Then there are people like me who get them often.. My obgyn has told me that is has a lot to do with your immunity and stress..


Link to comment

He prescribed me valtrex for when I do eventually have a breakout and zorivax. He said its better to be prepared and have it on hand and once I get a breakout and we see how often, then if I choose to I can go on daily suppression medication.


I've heard its worse during your menstrual cycles and it may be one sore or could even be many. The only one slight symptom I've ever had, I explained to him was a bump which felt like a blemish on the chin that never came to the surface that was tender to touch but nothing else. He said it could be anything and that was my first time tested and it was negative...so after my blood work came back, he said that may have been an ingrown hair or some other skin irritation or even my own type of OB. Ill know for sure if it happens again. So I'm paying close attention and I've heard most woman say that urination is the worst part.. :/ as if you could ever avoid that.


I heard a sitz bath is also a way to help relieve some discomfort... Have you tried that? They say sit in that for 15 mins. I'm researching everything to make this as liveable as possible.

Link to comment

Hey there. Welcome I'm so glad you found this website istumbled upon here during my first OB cuz iwas so desperate for help. My experience sucked. Ibroke up with my bf and got with someone else we had unprotected sex the first day we met and he had a cold sore on his lip and went down on me. We didn't think anything of it until 2 days later. Iwas starting to get sores down there and ithough it was just bad chaffing from his facial hair. Iwent to my doctor explained to her what happened and instantly when she took a look she said oh bunny that looks a lot like herepes. I instantly broke down sobing in the office and she talked to me and gave me advice. Itold my giver what she said and he thought igot it from my ex not him. Iwas in so much pain and had SO many blisters. Iactually ended up in the hospital cuz the pain was si unbearable. They had to give me morphine threw an IV. Icouodnt sit, stand, walk or lay down without being in so much pain. Igot advice on here and support. What Idid during my OBs is 2-3 Epsom salt baths (depending on how bad the OB is), get plenty of sleep at night, eat healthier and stay away front sick people.


Whenever you start feeling an OB come on start your valtrex immediately its going to help. Also if you get sick at all its going to trigger it. Ihave strep throat since Friday and I'm Going threw an Ob right now and its no where close tto my first this is my 3rd OB since iwas diagnosed with it in October also stress is a HUGE trigger try mediation and keep calm in stressful situations.


Ihope iwas able to help you :) if you ever need to talk or have questions you can always inbox me :) and I'm sending love and healing your way <3


Love tiff

Link to comment

H Ask your doctor but I went and got some tea tree oil cream that helped a little. I heard the bath does help but I didn't try it. As long as you have that medicine and you can start taking it right away then I thing you will be okay :-) oh and sassy I also live in Michigan and would love to be your H buddy so we can help each other get through this. Inbox me if you want :-)

Link to comment

I just got over a horrible sinus and respiratory infection but didn't have any signs of an outbreak. But...I have a feeling I'm one of those who will get it during their cycle because mine is to start soon and I've noticed an odd feeling. So I'm keeping an eye on it very closely. I've noticed this constant feeling of pressure in one area almost like a stinging. Nothing has come up yet. @Sayyywhatt I've heard horrible stories of how painful. All I can say is I hope i dont have them to that degree and for yours to ease up!!! My goodness and he gave me valtrex for 3 days 2 times a day. Should this be enough??? I'm like freaking but then again I know what sorta to expect, kinda like pregnancy. That's how I'm looking at it...

Link to comment

I feel so much for everyone in the early freaking out stage. I have had H for decades and have virtually no trouble now; + when I do it's my body going the H way to tell me something I need to know. For those of you still so upset and afraid, I cannot emphasize enough that all those emotions are already within your body, H just activates them and brings them to your attention. You will benefit so much from learning ways to heal and release old emotions stored in the body, and there are many ways to do this. As you heal those old emotions, almost magically, your body will turn down the volume on frequency, intensity and length of episodes. This really works.


Talk with Adrial, do some googling on it, there's plenty to learn and it will stand you in good stead for life. This truly is your precious body trying to connect with you. Do the physical, diet, suppressants, whatever you need, however the big solution is in emotional healing. This has been my experience, and that of thousands of others with all sorts of ailments. Shame is the big one for H people, but of course there's others as well. Wishing you all well, and sending much love for your journey,


Link to comment

My first episode with HSV2 oral resulted in a few small sores at the same time. They showed up roughly four days after symptoms including one of the worst headaches I've ever had (comparable to migraines), general flu-like symptoms with aching that was focused at the top of my neck, and a low grade fever. Those symptoms lasted 5-7 days and overlapped the onset of the sores. I do feel lucky to have contacted it orally due to the low recurrence rate, but it did cause more frequent cold sores for a short time, and they were more painful than they had been in many years.


My ex, who had GHSV2, averaged 2 episodes per year, and she usually called off work for at least 2 days while it was active. It was very uncomfortable for her, but she wouldn't get a prescription for anything so I think it was worse than it needed to be. What she told me about her primary episode was that it lasted for over 2 weeks and was extremely painful. Unfortunately her doctor was not knowledgeable and was not sympathetic. She also didn't seek any other help, and didn't research the virus. Perhaps the worst part was the emotional and psychological impact at a time when she was alone with no one to help support her.


With a supportive doctor you're on a good path. And you've also found this site early, and what I've learned in my short time here is that help and support in a positive manner is always available. Being positive, for me, is one of the biggest things I can do to help myself. This gets better with time and perspective.


:) CBK

Link to comment

My first herpes outbreak was in January of 2006. I had been with my partner since Nov 2005. He had never had an outbreak or had any symptoms. My first outbreak was horrible. I had multiple sores and I was in pain for several days. I was not employed at the time, and I'm grateful for that. It hurt every time I peed and I spent a lot of time in the bathtub.


I may have had one or two sores since then, but never a full on outbreak. I gave birth vaginally in 2007 and my child is perfectly fine. I didn't have any issues with herpes during my pregnancy. I stay pretty healthy and take care of myself. I take meds for anxiety and I do not get too stressed out. It may sound strange, but after 6 yrs I forget at times that I have this disease. I am lucky so far, and I hope I can keep the OB's at bay.

Link to comment

I was diagnosed a month ago. I was sleeping with a guy off and on without protection. He knew he had it, but did not disclose to me. About three weeks down the line I developed a sore on my vagina. I saw the doctor, but she was unsure whether or not it was herpes or some other irritation. My results were positive for HSV1 and HSV2. The one sore was painful for a few days, but for the most part was bearable. My doctor said I had a mild reaction..whatever that means. I am going through another outbreak now I believe because I am on my period. I have absolutely no pain with this one.

Link to comment

I haven't had any outbreaks just yet. I do feel a bump under the skin, especially since it was time for my cycle. But nothing. I'm not taking any medications or anything. I do have them on hand for when I do have a break out. I'm just waiting... Sounds awful as I've read so many stories and the pain some of which you all went through :( its horrible. I just purchased tee tree oil.. heard it helps very well. And I have zovirax. So I'm prepared... Not looking forward to this by any means.

Link to comment
  • 8 years later...

Hey so I am freaking out. I had unprotected sex with a guy I was talking to (condom broke). I have been freaking out. The next day I went to my doctor to tell her what happened. She tested me and treated me for chlamydia and gonorrhea. Friday night I started experiencing vaginal burning and clumpy white discharge. I also shaved Thursday which I never do and  not sure If I have a razor burn from that. I dont see any lesions or bumps but the area in the crease of my vagina and thigh hurt. I took fluconzale yesterday for my yeast infection but it slightly burns and irritated .could this be herpes? Or am I going crazy. Now 4 days since exposure with no blisters

  • Like 1
Link to comment

My first outbreak was a single blister that healed in about 3 weeks. This was about 2 years ago. It felt like a cut that wouldn’t heal. I’ve never had another out break but I get frequent prodromal symptoms, numbness and electrical tingling in my butt and legs. For the past 6 weeks I’ve had intense prodromal symptoms, labia tingling and swelling at the site of the original blister…..but no sores. Unfortunately, if  I walk or ride a bike the symptoms worsen but still never advance to blister stage. At this point I’d almost welcome the blister if it means it could heal and I’d be done with this constant sensitivity, pain, and burning. I take an antiviral but it doesn’t seem to do much. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
  • 4 months later...

I was diagnosed almost 4 years ago. My first OB was not fun. I initially thought I had a UTI. Apparently the symptoms I described were enough that they wanted to examine me. I am pretty certain who I got it from (even after having “the talk” which doesn’t cover herpes) and my first OB was within 12 days of exposure.

I had several sores internally (I think, couldn’t see them) and that’s what they swabbed to confirm. I thought that was the worst of it…my OB was just starting. I ended up getting multiple blisters on my labia. It was painful. Couldn’t wear underwear. Used a lot of lidocaine jelly. I was taking 2000mg of Valtrex, also took Vitamin C, Lysin, B-complex supplements. That OB lasted about 10 days. I got another one 2 weeks later. Not as severe but still bad. I know I got OB’s more frequently the first 6 months. 

Antivirals kicked in and my body figured out what to do. I think the next year I got a “flare up” every few months? And would get 1 barely visible pimple size bump on my perineum, usually around the time of my period. I now get a flare up maybe twice a year - barely know it’s there. Just up my Valtrex dose and it’s gone typically in 3 days.

  • Like 1
Link to comment

I didn't understand the first infection !! I was seeing some sores and I thought it was from shaving and I didn't care. but one day I say something is wrong and so I visited a doctor in an ob and so I learned that I have herpes !!! that's how it all started !!! 

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

I’m currently going through my first outbreak and it’s absolutely horrible… 

At first, I didn’t expect herpes at all. My boyfriend and I had anal sex on a Friday. I wasn’t sore at all Saturday. Then Sunday, he was going down on me and randomly decided to shove a finger in my ass without warming me up to it. He’s usually so slow and delicate. Idk why he decided to do that, but it hurt like a bitch! 

The next day, my anus HURT and my hemorrhoids (from giving birth, but typically never inflamed) were huge and it hurt so bad during bowel movements. I had diarrhea so although it hurt, it was bearable. This continued all week and got worse when my stool began to harden. At that point, I wanted to scream and cry during a bowel movement. 

On Wednesday, it began to ache/burn when urinating. I drink a lot of water and my pee is typically pretty clear, but it was now a deep yellow and cloudy. I also noticed what I thought was an ingrown hair in my pubes as I get those often. It was one solitaire bump and I plucked a hair from it. 

Thursday, I went to the doctor for suspected UTI and my hemorrhoids. They tested me for vaginal infections + STDs, but didn’t screen me for HSV. Everything came back negative so no answers for why it hurt to urinate. 

Discharge wise, I’ve been struggling with odd stuff a few months now. In the past, I’ve had reoccurring BV and yeast infections, but was testing negative so I figured ovulation was causing my discharge to be off. It was typically clear, thick, and stretchy like glue with the occasional tiny pink streak but never any smell. By Friday though, my discharge was starting to have yellow in it and there was way more. I went bowling on Saturday and had to wear a pad to catch the discharge. The pad didn’t look yellow or anything when I took it off though. 

Sunday, I woke up with my shorts wet. I’m still unsure if urine was slowly leaking out or if my discharge turned watery. There wasn’t a puddle under me, just unusually wet shorts. A few hours later, I checked on that ingrown hair spot because I felt a bump and popped it. When popping it, I felt a patch of something so I inspected it more and saw I had a cluster of blisters filled with clear liquid…


I told my boyfriend I was worried and showed him. We both agreed it looked just like herpes… we have been together 6 months and he has had tiny scabs on his penis we were suspicious of in the past, but it never looked like full blown herpes. We’d use condoms on those occasions, but all other sex has been unprotected. He feels so bad and is so sorry that he possibly gave me this. He was tested for STDs before we got together, as was I, but no HSV test was ran on me and I’m not sure about his exact tests. 

I went to the doctor again last night (Sunday) and they swabbed my sores. She was going to do a blood test, but said since it’s my first OB that it would come back negative. I was prescribed an antiviral and am starting it today. 

My boyfriend is a great man and has been telling me he’s going to marry me since the night we met so I feel blessed that I have him. I can’t imagine being single and having to tell someone new I have this… my heart goes out to anyone in that situation.

It’s really hard accepting that this is my reality now. We have an amazing sex life and now I’m worried it won’t be as good. Since we both probably have it, we aren’t as concerned about regular sex, but oral sex worries us bc neither of us want sores on our faces.

I feel ashamed. I’m really close to my mom and she’s a nurse so I told her, but I will never tell even my closest friends. I feel yucky and am so worried I’m going to spread it by touching it.

I’m only one week in and the pain, specifically during bowel movements, has been worse than during + after child birth.  



  • Like 1
Link to comment


First, I am so sorry you are having this experience! Please know you are not bad or dirty or unlovable. You are good. You are pure. You are deserving of love and respect! 

I want to first say that it isn't okay that he used a finger without asking first. I'm sorry that happened. That violates your personal comfort, so tell him that and that wasn't right and in the future to ask first and be gentle. You have every right to feel physically happy and comfortable and emotionally happy and comfortable ALWAYS, including during physical intimacy. 

Your symptoms sound so uncomfortable. The excessive discharge has been a reported symptom on this forum, however when doing research it's pretty hard to find that as a symptom. It's possible you have more than one thing happening. The sores could be HSV, and then if he used the same finger to touch your vaginal area, it's possible he passed some of the anal bacteria to the very-sensitive vaginal area, which can cause infections like yeast or BV. Also, you can have internal sores, which can occur inside the anal or vaginal cavity. They can be very painful and inner vaginal sores can cause excessive discharge. An OBGYN can use a plastic see-through speculum to inspect for sores. I am so sorry you are experiencing so many symptoms! Also, maybe a PAP smear would help provide answers. 

Also, you could get an IgM test, which is used for the first few weeks after having symptoms. IgM antibodies shoot up in number during the first exposure and soon drop off as the IgG antibodies build up. So, an IgM may be a good choice if you wanted a blood test sooner! 

You said he preformed oral sex on you; it is possible he gave you HSV orally is he has a history of cold sores. The scabs on his penis may be from HSV, but they could also be from other things. He should definetely get that checked out for his health and your health, too! 

I hope this helps. I'm so sorry about this. If your symptoms don't get better with the antiviral, head to the doctor. Your health matters! ❤️

Its unlikely that you would get it orally since you have antibodies to protect yourself from getting it elsewhere on the body, HOWEVER, it takes 12 or more weeks for these to build up. So, yes, it may be a good idea to avoid oral sex for the time being.

Also, hypothetically it is possible for you to spread it to other parts of your own body, so if you touch a sore or apply cream to it, etc, just wash your hands with soap and water ☺️

It's great you talked to your mom about it. Please know you have NO reason to feel ashamed. This is a common virus. The social stigmas attached to it are socially constructed and do not have any truth or reason behind them! Hold your head high and be kind to yourself ❤️ Love yourself unconditionally! 

I'm praying for you! 🌻






Link to comment

Thank you so much, Grace! You are such a kind soul. 

We definitely had a conversation about the finger and he’s usually not like that. I’m not sure what made him be less gentle than usual! 

I’ve been taking my anti-viral for 4 days now and things are starting to heal up. All that’s left are tiny scabs and I’m still having yellow discharge. So weird because you’re right, not much online mentions yellow discharge being associated with herpes!


When I originally got tested and they didn’t do an HSV screen, they did use a clear speculum to look inside and didn’t note any internal sores. I didn’t have any external blisters at that time either so maybe some developed after and that’s why I have yellow discharge. 

It’s so hard accepting this, but I just gotta keep reminding myself things could be worse 

  • Like 1
Link to comment


I am so happy you had a conversation about it. Speaking up is essential! 🙂

It's great that the four days of antivrals have helped! The scabbing is perfectly normal. Usually folks have clear runny discharge, but perhaps the yellow discharge is from possible sores that developed after the exam. 

If the discharge continues, head back to the doctor to make sure there's not a UTI or infection occuring. 

Remember that you are beautiful just the way you are, and nothing can change that! We are here for you! 

Sending happiness your way!


Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

    Using the lessons of this short e-book and two easy-reference handouts, you'll go into any disclosure conversation with confidence and optimism.

    Download free e-book + handouts



    Get face-to-face virtual coaching from Adrial, the creator of H Opp.‍ Melt away your shame and burn it as rocket fuel for growth.

    Get 35% off a session (1st-time clients only) or Explore coaching


  • Create New...