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trying to understand


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Posted

I know that no one is a doctor and there is no way to be sure but I have a question.... I know herpes can lay dormant in you for years and you never a lot of people don't know they have it or have any outbreak but I have been with steady bfs on and off with no protection and none of them have called me to say they got the H. So my now ex and me have been having in protected sex for the past 8 months (come to find out he was cheating) and a couple months ago I had.my first and horrible outbreak the day after having sex.with him. What are the chances I got it from him because I heard you have an outbreak up to a week after getting the H. It makes me wonder if he knows he has it or if he has no idea he does but wouldn't he a ob soon too because if he didn't have it I'm sure he does now because we had sex right around the time of my first on before I realized what it was . He is the type of guy that would call me up and blame it all on me. Please help I'm confused and don't know anything about this.

Posted

First off, past boyfriends not calling you to tell you they have herpes isn't the same as getting regular STD screenings. ;)

 

Secondly, when you start a new relationship, whether you have an STD or not, please get tested! You don't want to add to your nice little STD collection, do you?

 

And no, there's no way for you to tell how you got it. After what I realized many years later was my first outbreak, I didn't have my actual first lesion show up for 4 years! (My girlfriend cheated on me and got herpes and immediately gave it to me after we had sex during her first outbreak. I thought I dodged a bullet when really it was just lying dormant all those years.)

 

And at this point it doesn't help to spin your wheels wondering how you got it.You will never know absolutely for sure. Ask him directly and have an honest conversation about it. That's the best you can hope for.

This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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