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Just venting


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So I thought I was in a real good place, I've met some new people have started going on dates and have made a great new male friend that I disclosed to and took really well. He's become a best friend as we have both been through a lot with our ex's. We have even started a sexual relationship and taking all necessary precautions. He's very supportive of me and understanding. I am more paranoid than him as I make him wear condoms and boxers since my outbreaks are located in my inner thigh and anus. At this point we are just friends and that's all I can handle anyway. However, as I thought the virus was finally calming down (I am on month 7 since diagnosis) I came home yesterday thinking I was going to have some fun (sex) and I discovered I was having another outbreak and my mood suddenly went back to depressed mode. I hate being in this place mentally: I don't know how to get through this for good. I just want my body to get it under control. Anyway I took a second pill because I am already on supressive therapy and put tea tree oil on it and the irritation and bumps went away within hours. How is that even fucking possible? Sorry for the language I'm just so annoyed I got cock blocked by good ole herpes. Soon as I am happy it comes back to bite me in the ass. Feeling unsure today and like I will never forgive myself for this virus.

-emotional wreck

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Hey - I feel you! This is where I am at today as well. I've been titrating off the antivirals and for the most part, doing really well (8 months into the virus)! Last weekend I had a pretty fun make out session with a guy I'm really into and we spent the night together. Nothing serious because I haven't told him about the H yet. I like him, but our life paths just aren't heading in the same direction. Anyway, I had an outbreak last week. Same deal - took the pills, slathered it with coconut oil and tea tree, and it was gone pretty much instantly. No biggie. Chatted with a close male friend of mine about the situation this past weekend, and decided to tell my make out buddy about H, and see what he says. I have a great disclosure speech ready to go. And I was pretty excited about it. Then, bam! Another outbreak today! That's two in a week and a half. What gives?? It's tough. You start thinking you have a handle on things, then one of those buggers pops up and reminds you that this will always be a part of you! It was such a downer. And it made me start to question whether I should tell this guy or not. I just worry so much about passing it along. And question whether or not I want someone to take on that risk, especially for something casual. Anyway, I hope you feel better soon. I guess the upside is that the tea tree and antivirals make the physical symptoms go away quickly. It's just one of those days where I wish I had never heard the word herpes.

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Right - and I just tried talking to my roommate about the way that I am feeling, and she actually compared it to the cough that she has had for a week. Seriously?? I mean I get that in the grand scheme of things, herpes isn't the end of the world and that it is generally just a nuisance, but a cough? Come on. You're kidding me, right?!

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LMAO @ cough I guess she was trying to be relatable. Yes herpes is just one of those things that tries to take you to a bad place. I think you should go forward with the disclosure and have your handy dandy disclosure sheet on hand just in case you forget some stuff. Believe it or not people will be accepting of the virus if they really like you and care for you. I was a nervous wreck disclosing but he took it better than I did. Asked some questions and what his chances were of catching it. And that when I am ready to take it to the next level he is as well. Also he reminded me that I was a beautiful person in and out despite my virus and that I inspired him , as he is going through his own demons. People will respect your bravery and courage. You may go further than just casual sex. You never know until you try.

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Right - and I just tried talking to my roommate about the way that I am feeling, and she actually compared it to the cough that she has had for a week. Seriously?? I mean I get that in the grand scheme of things, herpes isn't the end of the world and that it is generally just a nuisance, but a cough? Come on. You're kidding me, right?!

 

Actually, I've had a cough on and off all winter and yes ... I would equate it with *my* experience with Herpes ... in that with both, you just plain get tired of not being "normal" and "healthy" .... 3 times this winter it was so bad I pulled a couple ribs. Now it's down to this pain in the ass (or throat!) tickle that makes me feel like I have to keep clearing my throat/cough to clear it. And everyone then looks at me like I'm going to infect them all with some nasty cold.... so yes ... in MY experience, the cough is just as much of a pain both because I'm tired of it and people treat me like I'm a walking Petri dish when I have a coughing fit :p

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