My husband left me because of HSV oral

[Saws]

I was diagnosed 2 months ago when i was in the 4th month of my marriage. Things already were not going that great but to add to it this horror. My family doesnt know it yet but i am shit scared of life now. He just walked off he sent me back home with a big smile misleading me that he was not bothered. But it seems he is bothered and my poor family doesnt have a clue.

I am shattered it is ok that he left me i will move on as well If it was any other reason but Herpes?? I feel shitty....

The more I am trying to make peace with it the more it throws crap at my face.. what more??

I dont know but somehow I am feeling guilty of giving it to him.

 

 

[Herpetologist]

@saws

 

He didn't leave because of the Herpes. He left because he doesn't care about you, or probably anyone else but himself. I know that it doesn't feel like it now, but be thankful that you weren't with him longer, wasting life with a person like that.

Besides, you're in good company - about 80% of the global population is with you!

 

Best wishes

[mandymoon]

@Herpetologist is right. Don't know the guy but H has that way of outing character real quick. I mean 80% of humanity has HSV1 whether they know it or not so he's bound to run into someone else with it. Good riddance likd Green Day. And it ain't going nowhere. And welcome to the forum

[WCSDancer2010]

So @Saws ..

 

You've been on here a bit with this ... and the answers are the same ... as mentioned above, if he's leaving you over this, it's really NOT about Herpes... it's just a convenient excuse to get out of the marriage.

 

So please go back and re-read everything we've discussed with you because we've already explained many times that HSV1 oral is in 80% of the population ... so your hubby leaving over that is a pretty weak argument. You had said you gave him Herpes somewhere ... was he diagnosed by blood or swab? Because if it was by blood test then odds are HE gave it to YOU. Or perhaps you both had it and something like stress triggered yours to come out....

 

Check out my Wingman post and some similar discussions that I'll post below ... they may help you to see that H is doing you a FAVOR chica, getting this jerk out of your life.... honest. I know you can't see it now but there's something else that is making him run... oral H is just an excuse that he's using to take the focus off of himself because he likely knows he's being a jerk ..... :(

 

(((HUGS)))

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5897/my-first-disclosure-story#latest Wingman example

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 )

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6347/my-disclosure-story 2 very different reactions … but both are “successful” in their own ways :)

Herpes as a relationship filter Adrial

 

[Saws]

@WCSDancer2010 yes you are right? I know the reason and he is using this as an excuse. But sometimes i wonder if this wasnt the case perhaps i would have more weight over him and could have secured my future. I am enuf for muself tough but theres just that sound which says if i didnt have it..

Thank you guys @herpetologist and @mandymoon for all your help. I am feeling light.

[WCSDancer2010]

Why the heck would you want to be with someone like him??? If you didn't have it you'd have "more weight over him?" What, make him stay so you have a "secure" future??? What's secure about staying in a loveless marriage??? And after only 4 months??? If it's falling apart already honey the foundation wasn't really there ... you guys just had a bunch of rocks in a hole but they were never properly arranged to hold anything up... ;)

 

So - why do you want to stay? Sounds like you need to do some work to learn to love YOURSELF first ... then you wouldn't need ANY man to have a "secure" future ... you would be able to WANT a man, and not NEED a man...

 

(((HUGS)))

[WCSDancer2010]

If there's ANY way you could get to the H Opp workshop weekend, PLEASE contact me and I'll see what @Adrial could work out for you ... I think you would come out of it with a very clear understanding of what you need to do next :)

[Saws]

@WCSDancer2010 I have made a decision to not to stay with him at any cost. I am back at my home in India and my parents are supporting me like hell with all this. So i am better off now without him. I am scared tough but i know i will be fine. Thank you so much for your guidance and support.

[WCSDancer2010]

Glad you decided to look after yourself. We had another woman on here from India awhile back... I know it can be a bit challenging there ... so I'm glad you have your parent's support...

 

We are here for you if you need us..... ((((HUGS))) and keep us posted!

[2Legit2Quit]

@saws

 

I agree w everything everyone has said in here. What part of the vow "in sickness and in health" did he miss? Clearly till death do us apart means nothing to him. If he wasn't going to leave you for this, then he was going to find another out and he may have been thinking that already and this was the perfect excuse.

 

I married young and when he left me for another women, less than a yr after marriage I was devastated. I remember my sister telling me to be grateful it happened now and not ten yrs later and w kids. That it would have been so much worse. I responded back w my ignorant young naievity, that I'd rather it'd been ten yrs later. Wow! How stupid does that sound!? Thank god he left my life so soon, because we were not meant to be and I couldn't imagine 11yrs later, being w someone like him. I wouldn't even give him a second glance, let alone a first!

 

I found this video the other day and wow! It is so powerful. When people walk out your life and don't want to be in it anymore, let them! He was meant for a season, not a lifetime!

 

Listen ytoo this video over and over!

 

Watch "Tyler Perry Medea advice" on YouTube

https://youtu.be/OsB7SCUMkY0

[Saws]

@2Legit2Quit This was really helpful thank you.. I can imagine your situation back then and all the rough times you must have been through at a young age.. Hats off you managed yourself for these many years..

I agree with everyone here its just that i am in a phase where i have so many questions unanswered.. I will move on.. I have every right to be happy.. thank you all so much ((hugs))