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A little under a month ago I was diagnosed with HSV2. I first noticed a burning stinging pain coming from my vaginal area the week before when I was on vacation with my then bf in New Orleans. I just thought I scratched myself or something I really didn't think anything of it. Then when I got back home (Houston, Tx) I noticed that the burning, stinging pain had grown and along with that I noticed I was feeling very hot and sweaty (but I didn't realize it was a fever). A few days went on & my symptoms worsened. I was in so much pain, I was sick and it hurt so bad to pee that I had stopped eating and drinking so I wouldnt have to. I never thought it was herpes though. I had looked online and my vaginal area didn't look like what I saw on the Internet. I told myself it was just a yeast infections or something, nothing serious.. I told my mom and she went and got me some Monistat. But when I went to apply it to my vaginal area, it was so swollen and I was in so much pain I couldn't even insert the applicator into my vagina. I finally got a mirror to look and I was shocked to find all these white blisters all over my vaginal area . I knew then it had to be something more.

So I had my friend take me to the ER. It only took the doctor one look to diagnose me with HSV2. I was devastated. It was like my life was over. I literally wanted to die. She gave me a prescription for acyclovir, some lidocaine cream (and another antibiotic for the bacterial infection I also found out I had) and sent me out the door. I couldn't stop crying I was so devasted. I thought why me? I'm not a bad person, how could this happen to me? Who's going to want to marry a girl with herpes? Who gave it to me? I had just turned 20 the week before and I was expected to live with this for the rest of my life? I thought FUCK NO! I thought God was punishing me for being involved with a older married man or/and being promiscuous. I finally told my boyfriend (the married man) and he was very upset. I prayed I didn't. I could never forgive myself for giving anyone else this horrible disease.

The next few days as I took the meds, I began to feel better and all my suicidial thought had became non existent. . But then I found out that my bf had got it and to make matters worse his wife contracted it to. I felt so bad. All I could think about was his wife. How she felt about finding out she was going to have to live with this because her husband couldn't be faithful. She was all I could think about, she was truly the victim in this situation. I felt like the most evil person in the world , I had cheated on my married boyfriend and gave him and his wife something they would live with for the rest of their lives. We decided to end the relationship. I was really sad but it was long over due. I really cared about him, he had been the first guy I ever been in a relationship with, he told me loved me and cared about me but he became very abusive and the relationship was both morally and physically wrong. Sometimes I think that I got this disease because this was Gods way of stopping me from going down a very dark road. If I never got it then we would still be together, which was not good in anyway.

It has now been almost 3 weeks since my first outbreak. I have healed and I'm not in any pain. I am currently not on any medication . I found the courage to tell my mother and my older sister and close friends. It makes it easier when you have people in your life to support you. I've also changed to a healthier diet. I've switched to a high lysine, low arginine diet and I exercise. It's only been a few weeks, so I don't really know now but as time goes on I'll figure out what food and activities triggers my outbreaks. I have chosen to stay abstinent for now and to not be in relationship. I'm not ready for a love life because I don't really love me. I think I made the choices I made because I never thought highly of myself. I always felt I needed a guy to tell me I was beautiful, for it to be true. So I'm going to spend the next few months working on me getting in a better place with myself on the inside and out. I don't think I'm a bad person , I've always been very nice, kindhearted and tried to do the right thing. I just think I've made bad choices. I am really optimistic for the future. I've been staying positive. I know that everything will work out and that it's not the end of the world. It might really be shitty to have this sometimes but it won't kill me and I can live a normal life ya know? It's only been a short amount of time but Im already in a better place than I was. I constantly live in fear of the next outbreak though. I know it will happen eventually but I'm really dreading it! Ive done my research, and I've really learned a lot but if anyone has any tips or anything please let me know!

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Hey!

I also have HSV2 (since December 2014) and like most of the people here, I kno what your going through! I'm 24 and I definitely thought I would miss out on enjoying the things ppl my age get to do! But this gives you a great excuse to really evaluate what you want out of life. While the circumstance were unfortunate, I really think you're doing an awesome job at growing from this. You're now making choices that benefit you, and let's face it, we ladies often fail to put ourselves first! No matter what you are still you! You've got a friend in NJ routing for you. If you ever need any extra support don't be afraid to reach out!

 

 

Good Luck

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Hey @bent_notbroken , we share ages and Herpes birthdays! lol.

 

Bethany, i'm sorry to hear your guilt over the married man and his wife. But do you know it wasn't HIM who gave it to you? It's possible this was an existing problem unbeknowst to them... Anyways, I totally relate to seeing the 'blessing' in this, because I didn't love myself either. I hadn't been making the best choices in the past year and a half, and this has made me step back and realize that I truly WANT to treat myself better. It's a slow process, but at least i'm starting it! Feel free to hit me up anytime. Friends are what get us through this!

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I agree with @startinganew22 - there's just as much of a chance that HE gave it to YOU.

 

You say the Dr did a visual diagnosis. So were you swabbed/blood tested? A blood test would tell you if you had already had it (takes about 4 months to come up positive on the blood test). The result would also tell you if you have HSV1 or 2 ... which is useful to know in the long run ...

 

In the end, you made some "errors of judgement" and this helped to wake you up.

 

I have chosen to stay abstinent for now and to not be in relationship. I'm not ready for a love life because I don't really love me. I think I made the choices I made because I never thought highly of myself. I always felt I needed a guy to tell me I was beautiful, for it to be true. So I'm going to spend the next few months working on me getting in a better place with myself on the inside and out.

 

Good for you! I took 3 yrs off dating to figure my shit out a few years ago. Best thing I ever did for me. So take this time to learn to love YOU, to get used to helping your body to deal with the virus, and to just "clean things up" ... and hang out here as much as you need to for support and to help others out ... it's a great place to be when life is challenging you!

 

(((HUGS)))

 

 

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@WSCDancer2010 I had a urine test and that told me everything that I had. I'm sure it was me that gave it to him because him or his wife didn't have systems until after me and him were intimate. Thank you so much for support . I really thought I was alone in this. It's so comforting realizing I'm not !

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Honey - Urine tests won't tell you about Herpes ... just Chlamydia as I recall - Herpes is done by a swab of the lesions or a blood test. So if you didn't have that done, you need to get properly tested...

 

Where the heck did you go to get tested? You really should go to an OBGYN or at least Planned Parenthood to get better testing and advice :)

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OK - Planned Parenthood will often do stuff for deep discount - you may want to call them ... I'm not sure that you got a proper diagnosis or at least they really Effed up explaining things to you.... I did the full STD test with PP and they cut my cost in half and I paid it off at $20/month.

 

ER's are one of the worst places to go with Herpes ... they are more worried about training for life and death stuff than someone with a nuisance virus :(

 

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