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Happy 23rd to me


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It's been 4 days since I had the confirmation that I have GH but 9 days since the Dr did that painful scrubbing swab and casually mentioned that my "lesion" appeared to be herpes. Apparently I'm "lucky". I have HSV type 1 genitally. When the Dr called me to give the news she cheerfully stated that because of this I SHOULD have fewer outbreaks and that she'd left a prescription at the drug store (didn't mention what the brand was called or even which drug store she'd sent it to..... And obviously I had other priorities on my mind than to ask) for future outbreaks..... All she'd really say was that there was no way to prevent spreading it, that my current partner shouldn't bother getting tested and that I should heal from my current outbreak eventually. Overall she was the opposite of helpful. I ended the call defeated with no information.

 

This all started when I fell ill. And not just ill. I mean bedridden. It hurt to move, it hurt to breath. I couldn't swallow, I was spitting up blood, I had a fever over 40 degrees Celsius, I was even having mild hallucinations when the fever got really bad. During this time I got my period. So when I began on day 3 or 4 of the cold to get itchy "down there" I just assumed it was a yeast infection and during one fevered annoyed moment I angrily scratched the area and suddenly felt a sharp tearing pain. One of my fingernails had broken at some point and must have ripped the itchy area. From there the sore continued to be itchy. I finally went to the doctor a couple days later and upon swabbing informed me I did have a yeast infection and then made her causal GH comment...... Over the next couple days I developed 4 more sores and my torn flesh continued to be a problem.

 

As far as I can pinpoint it I either contracted this 4ish years ago or 2. 4 years ago I slept with the man that gave me HPV. 2 years ago my boyfriend and I separated and he slept with a woman who may, or may not have had it. Maybe she gave it to him. Maybe he has it. Maybe he doesn't. But apparently he shouldn't bother getting tested. The Dr mentioned that because my mother-in-law has cold sores she likely gave it to him and he has the anti-bodies and has just never exhibited signs. But we just don't know. But I know HOW I got it doesn't matter. And he's done all he can to show that it doesn't matter to him that I do have it. He has been nothing but supportive. And in a way that has caused its own pain. He is so sure that he loves me and that it's all okay with him that he accidently disregards my worries, my fear, my pain. And I know he doesn't mean to. I know he wont understand my sense of lost opportunities and limitations. He loves me so much and I am so grateful for his support.

 

I have so many questions. I am living in an uncomfortable state of fear about having another outbreak. Since becoming sick I've had to leave my job due to my boss having an unethical "no sick days" policy and am now unemployed with this taunting voice asking me how I'll manage to work during another outbreak. How will I manage to get out of the house to do basic things? I know I don't have it nearly as bad as many but that torn flesh and one bump still remain and are causing me issues. It just wont heal. I know that rip will scar. And how will I know when another outbreak is coming on when during this one I had so much going on? A yeast infection, my period, a cold..... Has my body built up a good store of anti-bodies since I've had this at least 2 years or since this is my first known outbreak is my body just beginning to build up a resistance? I'm paranoid about spreading it to other body parts.... I've washed my hands to the point they are dry which I know then opens them up to crack...... What about suppressive therapy? If he doesn't already have it than I do want to protect my partner. What are my odds of spreading it if sadly I would need to begin with someone new? How long will this rip take to heal? I'm still so itchy, how do I know when this outbreak is over? Will I still itch even after the sores heal and if I'm still itchy does that mean I'm still shedding? Can I still wax (obviously not while having an outbreak)? If there are no sores on my legs can I still shave them while having an outbreak or is that just asking for trouble?

 

I've done nothing but read and read information and still feel like my questions arn't answered.

 

 

I have my 23rd birthday on the 27th. I suppose this is fitting. I had chicken pox on my first birthday. Chicken pox on my 16th. And now GH on my 23rd.

 

I am miserable. I thought I could handle this alone. I thought I could manage. But this is a lot to take in and frankly its overwhelming.

I suppose thanks for listening?.... :)

 

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Dazednewbi - I myself just found out I more than likely have HSV2. I'm waiting for my doctor to get back to me with the culture results. I should hear back from her today or, tomorrow. I'm new to this as well and know how you feel. I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone. Since I am new to this, I don't have a lot of information but wanted to let you know that I'm here to listen. xoxo

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I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone. Since I am new to this, I don't have a lot of information but wanted to let you know that I'm here to listen. xoxo

 

Thank you so much. It does really help to know someone else is willing to listen xoxox Thanks :)

 

 

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@DazedNewbi, I just found out recently I had HVS 1 and I had the antibody against it since I might have it for a long time and I didnt know it. I am confused and upset like you but when I think that I have lived with it for a long time and married for 10 years now I didnt want it to destroy my life and put more stress in my life. I cant offer you guidance since I am still new to it but dont make yourself upset and try to think positive and may God be with you always.

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@DazedNewbi

 

First friend... BREATHE!!!!! You will be FINE! Promise!

 

I would guess you got it recently from oral sex from your BF ... 50% of all new genital herpes are HSV1 from oral sex. 80% of people have oral HSV1 and 80% of them don't know they have it and even if they know, most don't know they can pass it to someone elses' genitals through oral sex. I doubt very much that you got it from the past BF's but if you *really* want to know, get blood tested NOW ... if you just got it the test will come back negative in the bloodwork because it takes about 4 months to build up the antibodies. And if you got it from the BF, odds are he got it as a kid ... 60% of all young people have HSV1 orally by the time they are young adults ... I got it at age 4 ;)

 

He has been nothing but supportive. And in a way that has caused its own pain. He is so sure that he loves me and that it's all okay with him that he accidently disregards my worries, my fear, my pain. And I know he doesn't mean to. I know he wont understand my sense of lost opportunities and limitations. He loves me so much and I am so grateful for his support.

 

WHAT lost opportunities and limitations? I've had a VERY full life. I got genital herpes (type 2) at age 17 ... I was married for 20 yrs (passed it to the hubby because I didn't know what the *rash* was and I was repeatedly treated for yeast and bacterial infections) ... we stayed together for another 18 yrs after he got it. I had 2 beautiful daughters ... they never got it from me. I have a beautiful 4 yr old granddaughter ... she's never got it from me. I've had tons of jobs and H has never held me back there. I've had 3 post-divorce BF's ... both H- ... neither got it from me. I'm totally "out" including on my dating profiles. While it's caused a few men to choose to not date me, I currently have 2 men pursuing me who admire my honesty (I just had a guy back out who said he was "crazy" about me, but he was more worried about all his friends finding out he was dating someone with H because of my public profile ... oh well, I don't want someone who won't back my mission 100%! His loss!!!). So you can see, Herpes hasn't really cost me ANYTHING and if anything, I just dodged a bullet with a man who is more worried about what his friends think than being with someone who would back him in ANYTHING he wanted to do or be...and I might not have realized that about him until it was too late and I was emotionally invested in him ;)

 

And as for his reaction: He's a MAN! They put things into neat little boxes and he doesn't understand your fears because he'd prefer to stay with the box where he just gets to love you regardless. Honey, I'd give ANYTHING to have a man like that! So come here to vent, and just let him love on you :)

 

I'm paranoid about spreading it to other body parts.... I've washed my hands to the point they are dry which I know then opens them up to crack...... What about suppressive therapy? If he doesn't already have it than I do want to protect my partner. What are my odds of spreading it if sadly I would need to begin with someone new? How long will this rip take to heal? I'm still so itchy, how do I know when this outbreak is over? Will I still itch even after the sores heal and if I'm still itchy does that mean I'm still shedding? Can I still wax (obviously not while having an outbreak)? If there are no sores on my legs can I still shave them while having an outbreak or is that just asking for trouble?

 

Short answer: it will all heal and settle down with time and likely you will never notice the scar *if* you have one once it heals completely. Remember that 1 in 5 people around you has genital Herpes and they still manage to go to work once their body gets it under control.

 

As for passing it to other parts of the body ...once it's established (in about 6 months) odds are almost non-existent of you passing it to other areas ... in the meantime, just use *NORMAL* hygiene procedures... no need to over-scrub or wash too much. I wouldn't jump to suppressive therapy ... once HSV1 settles down genitally it *usually* settles down and sheds very little and again, odds are high that you got it from him.

 

Healing varies from person to person. Again. try some of the things I posted on your other discussion.

 

I'd go easy on waxing and shaving (maybe use a trimmer) until things settle down. Yes you can do both ... AND both *may* trigger an OB but over time again, you will find what works in that area.... if I can find the discussions on waxing (they are out there) I'll post them later :)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

 

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@DazedNewbi I was just diagnosed right before my 45th birthday so your post title caught my attention. I'm so sorry you got so ill. I was dealing with a lot of nerve pain everywhere on my body. I could barely walk into and around work and I had to be at work. I was miserable. It doesn't sound like I was as miserable as you though.

 

I'm a bit freaked out about how I will handle future outbreaks - and I'm not a worrier. This one was really hard to get through, but I keep telling myself that I got through this one by taking it one day and one moment at a time. And I did make it. You will make it too. Just take it in the smallest bits that you can handle. Try not to worry about the future and borrow pain that isn't even there yet. :-)

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@DeK1 Happy Belated Birthday!

 

I'm not so much a worrier as an overthinker lol I can overthink myself into a crisis in no time flat. I'm sorry you also had such a miserable outbreak. But it sounds like you are well on your way to positively adjusting!

 

I'm also worried about how I'll handle the future outbreaks. The unknown drives me crazy. Especially when its unpleasant. Heres hoping for the best! :)

 

Thank you for the advice and taking the time to comment. I appreciate it!

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@DazedNewbi thanks for the b-day wishes.

 

I understand the overthinking.

 

I have been using essential oils to help heal and deal with the outbreak. I'm hoping it will work on the next time since I'll know more of what to expect and this initial outbreak I was totally clueless about.

 

No need to thank me. Glad we're not in this alone.

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