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I told him!.....now what


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I told him..... holy crapola I told him. And really, it wasn't that bad. I think the buildup we create in our head is always always worse than what really ever happens. Before I even got the words out I had this gigantic panic and fit where I imagined every single possible wrong thing that could happen, and in the end, it was just a calm conversation.

 

He took an "Oh boy, I've never dealt with this or had anything like this happen to me so I don't really know what to say but obviously I am going to go get tested" approach. He even apologized to me for my situation and how I got it and how much of an ass my ex was. He was forgiving. He had a moment of "why didn't you use a condom, fuck" moment. And then stopped himself quickly and said he didn't want to overreact and he had no idea what the right way to feel was. And I apologized profusely and told him that I care about him and I am okay and I can live with this. And at first, I thought it was a lie. But I realized that the more I told him that I would take this over cancer or anything else terrible, I really actually believed it. It isn't that bad. So, I happen to have this invisible virus that is chillin in my body. But there is absolutely nothing I can do about it and I can let it be an anchor on my life or I can let it be a blessing in disguise.

 

The minute you realize that things can always be worse, is the minute you realize that your current situation is just that, a current situation. It isn't your final destination. Good and bad moments both pass and life will continue to move on.

 

Everything is out of my control now. I said what I needed to say, I told him. Now it is in his hands.

 

I told him I care about him and nothing has changed for me, but I know that our dynamic may have changed. And I told him that he now needs to decide what he ultimately wants from me.

 

He is in his, "I'm going to go get tested tomorrow" mindset, even though we only had sex last Saturday. What will his results come back as? Can it show up in his system that quickly? Does he need to wait the 3 months mark? If it he is positive for HSV2 which is what I have, then it wouldnt be from me would it? It doesn't happen that fast? And if it's negative, that could mean he didn't get exposed or his body just hasnt had time to build up the antibodies?

 

I'm a little bit confused. H is such a complicated little bugger.

 

He told me he will keep me posted either way and I leave for vacation for 2 weeks on Thursday, so we shall see.

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I told him..... holy crapola I told him. And really, it wasn't that bad. I think the buildup we create in our head is always always worse than what really ever happens. Before I even got the words out I had this gigantic panic and fit where I imagined every single possible wrong thing that could happen, and in the end, it was just a calm conversation.

 

AWESOME! Congratulations!! Well done! And yes, it's worse in the head than in reality most of the time 🙂

 

 

The minute you realize that things can always be worse, is the minute you realize that your current situation is just that, a current situation. It isn't your final destination. Good and bad moments both pass and life will continue to move on.

 

Everything is out of my control now. I said what I needed to say, I told him. Now it is in his hands.

 

YESSSS!!!!

 

Your current situation is just that, a current situation. It isn't your final destination" Beautifully said!

 

He is in his, "I'm going to go get tested tomorrow" mindset, even though we only had sex last Saturday. What will his results come back as? Can it show up in his system that quickly? Does he need to wait the 3 months mark? If it he is positive for HSV2 which is what I have, then it wouldnt be from me would it? It doesn't happen that fast? And if it's negative, that could mean he didn't get exposed or his body just hasnt had time to build up the antibodies?

 

You need to educate him... give him the handouts below and the link to @Adrial 's youtube video....

 

No, if he got anything from you it won't show up for 3-4 months. But it won't hurt him to get tested and tell him he has to ASK for it.

 

And if he has another "why didn't you ask for a condom" moment, gently say to him "I could say the same thing to you, because who knows what I may have gotten from you too... because you can't be tested (as a man) for HPV and I don't know when you were last tested ... we were BOTH foolish. So yes I'm sorry I allowed myself to get too inebriated to make a smart decision... but this was a two way street. And I don't want to get into a finger pointing fight."

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

 

 

Herpes facts video

 

 

 

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