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The moment when Herpes is overtaking your mind

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I am still kind of grieving over the fact I contracted a cold sore virus (see its sounds so silly to me tbh). I know its nothing serious but yes I know its contagious and that the stigma behind it makes alot of people feel so upset and hurt by it when actually in a way it is a lucky STI (not saying im glad i have it, it is just a lucky escape) because it doesn't cause serious health problems, but it is a nuisance for some. What doesn't quite get me though is that it is so common but there is no cure to completely flush it out of your system, whereas serious STI's like Gonnoreha have cures???? the answer to this question we will never know.


I have honestly been thinking about this so much that I have come to the point of limiting myself to only dating people with herpes so that i dont have to deal with the "talk" "rejection" "stigma" and judgemental ignorant people. Those people were defintley not worth your time and even if you didn't have herpes they would still be a waste of time because Herpes doesn't define you. It defines them.


I want to live happily with my cold sore condition. I mean I am still contemplating about only dating people with herpes because I am very scared about passing it to an unifected partner mostly and I am a very loving and caring person so I always put people before myself and I don't know if I would be comfortable being in a relationship with someone and feeling like everytime we have sex, I have to check 2 weeks later to make sure he has no symptoms and tbh I don't want my relationships to be like that. Maybe I'm thinking like this because I'm upset and till hurting or maybe im just overthinking.


What are your opinions on limiting yourself and only dating people with Herpes?


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I have dated both...and I do get how you feel butterfly. But I am getting better with it...I hardly have symptoms now and know its not a big deal on a day to day basis to have it. It would have more impact on a sexual relationship if someone had asthma, eczema or repeated colds!

I am in a new relationship with someone who doesn't have H and we have had the talk..have kissed but no sex yet. Next week I am staying with him and it's built up to where i know it will happen. I am on suppressive medication and he knows the risk. Somehow it feels right and I don't feel as worried.

I don't want to limit myself....and as I was someone who accepted Herpes I know there are others like me who can see past H. It's all about being creative and loving, sometimes without full sex - and that is lovely.

Herpes has a way of weeding out those who aren't special enough...you just have to be patient and believe the special ones are out there :-) Because they are. xx

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Thanks Lelani. I think I just have to understand I have to deal with the hard stuff first before anything gets better but someone like you gives me hope in finding someone who doesn't have herpes and feeling comfortable and not worried about having sex and yes your very right that you can be creative and loving in many ways without having sex but im not a very creative person so at this point I wouldn't know, but thank you for your help. Made me see abit of hope in my future. xx

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