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Wanting to give up.... but still have hope


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I have had HSV2 for almost 2 years now... every time I try to have a relationship with someone they run away or just want to be friends. Idk if it's how I'm telling them the news about me or what. I was wondering if anyone can can give me some advice?

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@Loveless92

 

Well, there's no *right* way to do this...but IMO the 2 best ways are either to be like me (I'm 100% out in all my dating profiles so they know up front ...hasn't found me love *yet* but I HAVE had a number of guys who were willing to at least explore something with me) ... OR ... keep it to yourself, and take it SLOW ... get to know them and don't rush anything. Let them know you are not going to have sex until you feel that there's something developing ... and that can be several months. When you know sex is imminent and you feel that this person is DESERVING of knowing something that is so intimate about you, THEN you tell them ... and believe me, if you read the Success Stories (and I suggest that you do) then there have been a LOT of people who have found love this way.

 

I think telling at the 3 week mark is really at the wrong time simply because they have no "investment" in you ... it's a LOT easier to walk away at that point. Once they get to know YOU ...once they show they are as into YOU as their desire to get INTO you ... that's when they are more likely to get educated and (hopefully) elect to stay with you ...if there is no investment, they are less likely to do their homework and just run.

 

Check out these links .. they may help you figure out what will work for you ... and read those Success Stories for inspiration :)

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5897/my-first-disclosure-story#latest Wingman example

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 )

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6347/my-disclosure-story 2 very different reactions … but both are “successful” in their own ways :)

 

Herpes as a relationship filter Adrial

 

 

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Certainly slowing things down and waiting to tell them means you may get more invested and potentially hurt if they walk away. But the more you work on realizing that if they REALLLLY like you yet they run, well, that's more about *THEIR* inability to deal with standing by you through thick and thin and it's not about YOU or how lovable you are, the happier you will be, not only in love, but in life as well

 

And honey, we all DESERVE to have someone who values us soooo much that a little virus doesn't have a chance of stopping them from loving us.... ;)

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