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First herpes outbreak, feeling bad. Again, how are y'all


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I just looked in th mirror after a particularly stressful day. I had a pimple breakout, okay. Fine I'm used to that. The corner of my mouth feels sore and heavy. Maybe I bit it? Upon closer inspection, it is a collection of small white bumps on the inside, and on my outer lip there's a cluster of small, watery pimple like things.

I played with fire this week. I was under pressure, so I ventured off to my ex's house to escape my chaotic home. One thing lead to another, and I was fine with it. We had lots of sex before this point, (he is hsv 1 and 2 positive) and I never had any symptoms. We broke up last week, and I was actually out there and talking to new people... Anyways.

I'm in the shower and my vag itches. Like really itches, so I reach down to give it a soothing rub and guess what?

That shit HURT.

The day before I had been trying to convice myself that this sore throat was happening because it had been a full week without shoving this dude's huge dick down my throat and pretending to care, satisfying his weird whims for like 5 seconds of faux kindness from this egotistical douchebag...

But no, I'm sore. It hurts. I cried. I feel alone because earlier I had not even mentioned my symptoms, (because he got mad every time i mentioned my concerns after scare number 4) - and we got in a stupid argument over echo and the bunnymen of all things... And i wanted to tell him about this but he's such an asshole, i wish i had some support.

I never had any kind family members in my life, and the friends i have, i dont know if they would be understanding.

I should have left him 2-3 months in, not 6 months

I should be having fun and fucking around, but i had to fuck up

And now i have to tell the person i kind of liked about this

Cause before this "relapse" into my ex's shitty cluthes, not but a few days before- this super nice guy had been talking to me and we had been connecting rather deeply. We've both recently left abusive relationships, and we had so much. I Sucked his dick before i had these symptoms, but we hadn't gone whole way. How do i tell him about this? He was already like hey, youre awesome! Whats the catch? (Said jokingly) fuck. I feel like shit. My lip is swollen and gross and burning, my vag is sore, my throat is sore.

This is my fault.

 

 

 

 

 

 

so. I what are your experiences like?

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Hakuna Matata :) Put the past behind you girl. You can never rewind time and go back to when you should've left this guy. I had to let my past go too. I tried to break up with my bf like twice before I got the virus but he convinced me to stay. Now I look back and I think I can remember when I got it but not certain. Yea, so I think I could've avoided contracting the virus if I would've listened to my gut but oh well right. It is what it is now and we have to keep pushing forward.

 

With this new guy I think that was a funny joke and don't put too much weight on it. He obviously thinks you are amazing. So I believe he was just being funny and you never know how someone will react until you tell them. I mean, you accepted your ex's condition right? :) We all make mistakes and I hope you would choose a man that has enough humanity to understand we all have flaws. We all have been stupid one time or another in our lives.

 

You are young and from your post I can tell you have a big personality :) So try not to stress about all of this. It is just another phase in life. I would try to slowwww things down with the next guy. Try to keep your body to yourself until you are sure he is worth going to the next level. Your body is your temple ;-) Take care of it. I am here for you if you want to talk more about this.

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@trash

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

First ... I'm really concerned about your feelings (or lack there-of) of self worth ... both with your screenname here and the fact that you stayed with someone who was obviously not good for you (the fact that he was HSV+ is no excuse or reason for behavior ... sounds like that is just who he is) .

 

The thing is, you don't sound like you are in a good place to be in a relationship right now ... and I would tell this guy that you just broke up with someone and you don't want to make him the Rebound Guy because you like him too much. Ask him to just give you time to work through some things. See if he will take it slow...especially sexually ... and if he's up for that, that tells you a lot. It will also buy you time to get a proper diagnosis and to get your head clear.

 

Bottom line is: you have to be the kind of person you want to attract ... and right now it doesn't sound like you are there....

 

Next: get a blood test and swabs done ASAP .... see if you can find our if you do have H or if it's another scare. It's very possible you have a yeast infection or something else going on...so don't assume anything before you are looked at. Go to an OBGYN or Planned Parenthood so you (hopefully) get good advice and support.

 

And finally, realize that Herpes has a way of making us slow our relationships down so we stop using our bodies to cement a relationship before it's begun...

 

Got to keep this short ...out of town at the moment ... but these links will hopefully help you :)

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6070/it-gets-better great tips for newbies

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2886/herpes-yoga-and-self-love

 

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