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Trying to keep it to myself


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Hi guys, I'm fairly new here and was diagnosed about 6 months ago with HSV2. I had recently undergone several surgeries and have apparently had H for years and have just now seen an outbreak I'm assuming due to the stress of multiple surgeries in a short time frame (my blood tests came back positive for HSV2 during my outbreak). My husband has been tested twice and remains negative. My question is if anyone has experience with non infected partners? He has been extremely supportive and seems to have no issues with contracting it. He hates using condoms and we plan to have children in the next year or two. He says it's likely he would contract it then anyway. I guess I just wanted some reassurance. I don't think he really understands how painful the initial outbreak can be (luckily my recurrent outbreak wasn't bad at all). I also don't want him to resent me in the future if his outbreaks are severe or if he has to give up certain foods and behaviors to prevent outbreaks. I am currently on suppressive therapy but I know that he could still contract the virus. Any advice?

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My beat guy friend was w his ex for 7yrs and never got it. Remember the vow, through sickness and health. You've been w him all this time and haven't passed it, so it is possible to never pass it to him.

 

Based on your husbands response, he loves you no matter what and is OK w the risk, be very happy for that. You were asymptomatic for how many years possibly, so that should tell you that he may be asymptomatic as well. If he ends up not being, you can't assume it'll be worse case scenario. Notice isn't mainly women on this site? We tend to have the most painful obs.

 

How long have you and your husband been together?

@KateplusH

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@2Legit2Quit Thanks so much for such a quick response. We have been together for five years total and married for 3. During the 2 years prior to marriage, we always used protection. I guess I'm lucky because he's a pharmacist and he sees so many people come in for Herpes medication so it's no big deal. He doesn't buy into the stigma and has been one heck of a support system. And he also used the same line "through sickness and in health". Hopefully he will never contract it but on the bright side, if he does, maybe his wouldn't be nearly as bad as my first outbreak since he's a male!

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@KateplusH

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

We actually have a few on here who have been with H- partners for many years. I've had 2 post-divorce BF's who where H- ... was with them 3 yrs each. One I never used meds (his choice) ... one I did. My ex hubby got it from me but I didn't know what my "rash" was at the time. He ad bad flu symptoms and such but as far as I now never resented me for it. Sometimes shit happens. The good thing in a way is you had an Ob so you know you have it and you can try to take measures to keep him from getting it. Most people get it from asymptomatic carriers... those who know they have it are more likely to be more body aware of small things that an "asymptomatic" carrier may not realize are symptoms ;)

 

There are people who have been with a H- partner for 30 yrs (I have a client who had her first OB after 30 yrs of marriage and her hubby has never got it from her) .. so don't think it's a given that he will get it from you. Just pay attention to your body and if in doubt, find another way to get your freak on until you don't have "symptoms" ...

 

Take his word for it. He loves you unconditionally ... and that means even with herpes. Be grateful for that... it's not an easy thing to find nowadays :)

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