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I will never take health for granted again


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This has been the toughest 2 weeks for me, emotionally, mentally and physically.

 

It should have been an amazing night to remember. This all started on the roof of a building in Brooklyn, just after the watching fireworks on the 4th of July. He was a friend that was leaving town, I was just out of a 4 year relationship and had just officially moved out and into my new place. We were far too drunk to be doing anything, but I was feeling carefree and reckless.

Immediately afterwards, I felt dirty - not just from the grit of the rooftop, but from my actions. I cried in the cab on the way home, and my uber driver kindly said something to the tune of "forget that guy."

 

4 days later, I felt sharp pains around my vagina. I looked in the mirror and thought "wow, that must have been the roughest sex ever. I wonder why the cuts took so long to show up." I had what looked like a 1.5 inch tear, with 2-3 other smaller papercuts on the other edges. I went to work, uncomfortable, and as the day progressed and I went to the bathroom more and more to check, I realized the number of 'tears' were growing.

Panicked, I ran to an urgent care, where a doctor saw me and sympathetically but firmly told me they were sores, not cuts.

I cried. She also told me that my cervix did not look normal. Wonderful.

 

On top of all of this, I had a sore throat, and chalked it up to the sore throat that comes with the herpes territory. By Sunday, I could tell this was not an ordinary case of sore throat. I couldn't decide whether to hurt from my sores or hurt from my throat, but with each swallow I felt lower and lower. I remembered having tonsillitis in June and the nearly half-full bottle of antibiotics on my dresser. I was fucked. On Monday at 4am, I woke up and felt a giant swelling on the roof of my mouth. I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My throat was so swollen I couldn't see the back of my throat. I immediately passed out. When I came to, I crawled into my best friend's room and passed out again. I called her name weakly, and we called an ambulance. It turned out to be a Peritonsillar Abscess, which they were able to ease in the ER and they prescribed me harsh antibiotics.

 

I was confirmed a few days later for HSV-2 (swabbed). My throat was better, I had a diagnosis, and only one thing stood in my way: the cervix issue. I scheduled a gyno appointment and nervously went in. I remember thinking to myself "please just let the worst news I hear this week be that I have herpes." How's that for perspective?

 

The doctor examined me, and said my cervix was "a piece of art." (nothing there) but that I did have a yeast infection. Can my lady bits get a break, please?!

 

Now, nearly 2 weeks after the first signs of the outbreak, I am vacillating between normal and symptomatic. It's still a bit red (but that might be the yeast infection), and I've noticed a new "papercut". I just want to feel normal again. I just want to be healthy and strong again. All the worrying about no one loving me - that's a future me problem. The current me needs to get better and feel better.

 

It's been a really tough road, and I'm barely starting my journey. All I can think is how important my health is to me and how lucky I've been to never appreciate what that really means. If anything, this whole experience is making me realize that I'm still lucky. I've got amazing friends and coworkers, as this experience has shown, and otherwise I have my health. It is after all just a skin disease, right?

 

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@NothingGoodGetsAway

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

Well, you just got the "Herpes Wake-up call" that some people get with diagnosis. Yes, there are FAR worst things that can happen to you ... and yes, it's just a skin disease in all reality. AND, someone WILL love you regardless. Our "Success Stories" are a wealth of proof about that!

 

I'm glad you found us so early in your journey with H. I'm going to post some links to things you can do to help to get the lesions to clear up faster and to help you be more comfortable in the meantime.

 

We are here to support you as much as you need us. Nothing is TMI (it's the only way we can help you to have answers) and venting is ok too... we are a judgement-free zone... ok?

 

(((HUGS)))

 

Treatments/medications

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6024/dealing-with-outbreaks#latest includes links below

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/easy-simple-self-help-tips-for-relief-from-herpes-outbreaks/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4810/bactine-for-oral-and-even-genital-herpes

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-medication/

 

http://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment/2010/genital-ulcers.htm#hsv

 

Links to some of the items suggested in the links

http://amzn.to/1CHUzZE Link to Alum

http://tinyurl.com/Aloecream

http://amzn.to/1F10r3V Fractionated Coconut Oil

http://bit.ly/zincsoap Zinc Soap with coconut oil

http://bit.ly/Zinccream

http://tinyurl.com/bactine

http://tinyurl.com/Oragelsgldose

http://tinyurl.com/DMSO4HSV

 

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Hey :)

I am so sorry that this is causing you so much physical discomfort. This will pass and the OBs will become less painful as time goes on.

I really like when you said "I remember thinking to myself "please just let the worst news I hear this week be that I have herpes." How's that for perspective?"

I think that is so awesome in revealing the reality of this condition!

It really is just a skin condition. Is it something we have on our bucket list? No haha but it is something we can overcome. I think you are on a good path to a speedy emotional recovery. Keep focusing on getting yourself better physically and emotionally.

I truly believe that H forces us to appreciate our lives, our bodies and find an inner strength that often hides out inside of us. Someone will absolutely love you and appreciate the woman you are. This is just a part of your story.

So keep moving forward and please reach out anytime you need support.

We all need a shoulder sometimes, H related or not :)

XOXO

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@nothinggoodgetsaway so did you get HSV 2 in your mouth too? Stating you got swabbed was close in the sentence about your throat and didn't know if you'd u were referring to. Being swabbed at both locations and came back w HSV 2 in your mouth?

 

I am so sorry you got so ill from this, as I did as well during my primary. Hang in there it dies get better and it takes some time to heal from the trauma down there and emotionally of it all.

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@2legit2quit

I did not get swabbed in my mouth - only in my genitals as that is the only place that I was presenting. When I spoke to the Ear Nose and Throat doctor, she said that it was tonsillitis and the chances of it being HSV-2 presenting only in one location in the mouth was very slim. From what I've read, that sounds right?? I'm not sure I can handle an HSV-2 in the mouth diagnosis right now.

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Not completing a course of antibiotics is a no no. Just because symptoms halted means nothing and coukd mean the bacteria count is low enough to make them subside, u til they grow again in a larger number, to display symptoms.

 

BTW, I almost passed out a few times during my primary OB. I remember one night I woke itching so bad and couldn't take it. So I went to the bathroom, put some gloves on so I could put hydrocortisone on me and that's when I felt that a shit load more of new bumps popped up in a matter of hrs. W me not feeling well from my primary OB, the sheer horror and anxiety of feeling like 10 or more bumps pop up w in hrw from last time I checked, made me suddenly sweat profusely, feel nauseous, feel like a 1000lbs of weight got thrown on top of me literally and almost passed out.

 

You don't want to mess around w not taking your meds. I had recurrent tonsillitis as a kid and adnoids were infected too... I eventually had to have them removed. Some people who get tonsillitis, tend to be more prone to recurrences of it, which is why so many have them removed.

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My symptoms started around the 4th too! Ugh.

 

I learned this sentiment about the importance of health when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Which is what makes my outbreak so funny (as funny as herpes can be). I have never been as healthy as I have been the last year or 2. In fact, in the last 5 months I hired a personal trainer (who, unless hsv has been dormant in my body, gave this lovely virus to me), I eat clean, work out 5 days a week, and maybe have a drink once a month MAYBE. So LOL at my ultra healthy lifestyle... herpes gave it a huge middle finger and knocked me on my ass.

 

I hope you are feeling better!!

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