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im so scared...


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i know i have dragged this topic through the dirt before but im so scared

 

what i left out in my last discussion is that i just remembered that i did have a sexual experience with my mutual partner in like 7th grade i'm in 9th grade now, he had MANY sexual partners but with me no insertion just touching and rubbing.. i am so scared that i have contracted HSV-2 or HSV-1 i have these NEW symptoms:

strong fatigue (tired almost 24/7)

extremely itchy blisters resembling bug bites that have started to leak clear fluid and sometimes form scabs

skin rash on my stomach

crust that is white starts to appear all over my skin at times

little blisters on my penis starting to cluster

phenomena-like cough

 

i am so scared i might give this to my family members i don't what i would do if that happened i feel like i'm a walking disease bomb i have stopped kissing my nieces and nephews for like 1 month and a half after all these symptoms appeared, i have had 2 severe panic attacks and a mental breakdown while my metal breakdown was happening i started to punch holes in my wall while crying and broke like 3 vases in the house , threw my TV at the door , and broke my bedroom window) since my last post on here i cant stop thinking about this,i am 90% sure i have this. I couldn't believe that i was stupid and this is happening at age 16 to me , this is the only the beginning of my life i feel like i'm going to go back to school this year and infect people i told my mom that if i do get diagnosed with this i want to be home-schooled for the rest of high-school experience im currently prepping my self to being told "yes you are positive for HSV-2 (or 1) BTW there is no cure"

 

i'm so sorry for any grammar mistakes or typos

 

 

 

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@JDKJD

 

Ok friend,,, BREATHE!!!! You REALLY need to slow down and get properly educated (as well as tested, because all this worry may be for nothing!)

 

First, you can't give GENITAL herpes to someone by hugging/kissing/or any other normal casual contact. Period. So go play with those nieces and nephews! You are NOT a walking petri dish. Believe me, if it was THAT easy to pass on, EVERYONE would have it!

 

Second, IF, you have Herpes, you life is FAR from over and you shouldn't cut yourself off from going to school. I got it at 17 ... and my life has been fine. Sure, it may slow down your sex life a bit in High School, but maybe that's not such a bad thing. You need to concentrate on yourself and your self worth right now.

 

The fatigue could be sooo many things ... in fact, your obsessing and worrying about this is likely part of it ... and depression and anxiety could be adding to the issue. You really need to just get tested and it sounds like you need to get some counseling as well ... to work on your anger/outbursts and what is really causing them, because I think there's something much deeper that is bringing on your outbursts ... so please, talk to your parents about getting help....

 

Perhaps ask your mother to get on here as well so we can help her to be able to help you ... I'm sure she is just as bewildered by all this as you are..... as well as how she can best support you....

 

You will be fine friend. I know this seems like the end of the world right now, but honestly, it isn't. Over the course of your life, shit will happen. What determines who you are isn't what happens, it's how you react to it. You can either let this get in your head and run your life, or you can deal with whatever is going on, and get out and live your life. I hope you will choose to do the latter :)

 

(((HUGS)))

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Oh man you are worrying yourself sick...literally. The BEST thing you can do is get tested. It feels 20 times better knowing than living in the doubt and fear that comes with not knowing. IF you do have HSV1 or 2, it is better to know so you can do what you need to do to start healing physically and emotionally. Hiding from reality does nothing but hurt. Trust me, I avoided getting tested. As soon as I did my mind went from "What the heck..please don't let it be this...please...I don't want to see..I dont want to know...whats going to happen????"....I had doubt and more fear and it did NOTHING FOR ME. Getting tested was my first step towards a more powerful me. Know that you can handle anything that comes your way. This is so minor on the grand scheme of things. You are still young so you might not understand that just yet. There are so many things to overcome in life...this is just another thing. At this point you are not sure you have this! So stop worrying yourself sick and just face it :) Take control of the situation. You are in control whether you believe it or not. Your life is so far from over...I can't even tell you how false that statement is. Your life has only begun. So cheer up, calm down, enjoy life, DO NOT go to homeschooling. This is not some airborn disease. It takes a little effort to contract. So try to relax. Play with your family, do things you love and keep your head up. Like WSCDancer said, you might have something else going on that you are hiding behind your symptoms. Maybe you need to work on your inner strength a bit more. We could always use a bit more of that. Cheer up butter cup :)

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