Confusion and Frustration

[MissD]

When I found out I had herpes, I know there was only one person I could have gotten it from. I have only had sex (including all aspects [kissing, touching, oral] with two people ever. I trusted this guy, he said he had been tested and didn't have anything. But when I got tested later after having sex with him, I tested positive for genital herpes. I told him. He's pretty promiscuous and he needs to tell others. But he thinks that if he has it, I gave it to him. It's completely ridiculous and heart-breaking. I am so angry. I know it has to be from him because there is no other option. He told me though, that he was recently tested and was not positive for anything, and that no other girls have been positive, including his ex-gf. I read that many places don't test for herpes unless you have symptoms. Otherwise, you have to ask. So that could be the case? I know I shouldn't play the blame game, but it really sucks knowing that he gave this to me and I have to deal with it forever, and he thinks I gave it to him. He still hasn't been tested for it, even after I told him I tested positive. He wants me to get retested...

My doctor told me that sometimes you can test positive for herpes when the Chicken Pox virus is active inside you. Is there any truth to that? I think she just told me that because I was breaking down and losing hope in life. I have had chicken pox. It's just confusing...

[Cedar1122]

Hi MissD,

 

Herpes can be a tricky little devil when figuring out where we got it from. Maybe he really does know he had it, and is completely lying. Or maybe he had it, and truly didn't know he had it. It's actually estimated that 80% of people who have herpes don't even know they have it. I feel your frustration and anger though, completely.

I went through something similar with the guy who gave it to me.

I'm still a little confused about it, but what I know for a fact is that I have HSV2, and that's what I'm going to be honest with other partners about.

Unfortunately, we have no control over how honest others are, but we do have the choice of being honest with our partners. It takes a caring and selfless person to be authentic with partners about having herpes. It seems to me that this comes easily to you; that it just seems crazy to you

I tried to look up information on the relationship between chicken pox and herpes, but I couldn't find a great answer to your question. I would recommend getting tested again, or talking to your Dr. more about it.

 

Lots of love, and hopefully some clarity ;)

 

-Katie