HSV2 for 28 years, F

[WCSDancer2010]

@WCSDancer2010 - I'll admit my negative stance on asymptomatic testing may change as I come to terms with my own diagnosis. For now, I'm having a hard time seeing beyond the implications of my own circumstances, I think.

 

And that's ok... :)

[WCSDancer2010]

@Optimist @wcsdancer2010 maybe we should start a change.org petition to demand that. What do you think? I feel it's the only way to get rid of the stigma and to stop typing one as better than to have than the other.

 

If you want to take that one on, I'll support you. I have my own path that I will be taking once my life challenges (dealing with my aging father) settle down.... certainly anything that brings awareness is a good thing!

[Bambina3]

I am also behind all of the above and will support anything that helps with awareness

[Bambina3]

I'm sorry to be all over the place and not starting new threads with new topics, this just works for me..

 

With that said, we've talked about spreading hsv via shedding....maybe this article link was posted somewhere else and I missed it, but here it is again, interesting study

 

 

http://m.jid.oxfordjournals.org/content/203/2/180.full

 

[Bambina3]

I finally got the results of my IgG blood work...it's a shame I didn't get it after the discovery back in August but it is what it is..

Hsv1....14.60

Hsv2...8.29

I knew there was a possibility I had 1, i haven't got thru acceptance of 2 yet, never mind throw in 1.

I've never had a cold sore or symptom.

I know I've read it's just a skin nuisance, but it's lifelong and incurable std.....some people are scared of it and stds in general.....over the weekend at a gathering with family and friends, stories were shared (started over a yeast infection), one wouldn't let someone use their toilet because of chlamydia, another one didn't want their daughter to hug someone with hiv, another one wouldn't use the restroom with someone with Trich... My insides were sick...I brought up h, they were accepting of 1, I heard the stigma over 2, which I rebutted against...my insides soooo bad Wanted to scream "you are fuc""g talking to someone with an incurable std!!!! But I couldn't, I hope someday, I will be able to

[2Legit2Quit]

I'm just jealous that you've managed to be asymptomatic for both viruses. Lol

[Bambina3]

Thank you

 

But they say ignorance is bliss....and I believe it now...I was better off not knowing.

[2Legit2Quit]

You'll come around eventually, don't worry.

[Bambina3]

So the doctor called today with my hsv results, I already knew them thanks to the patient portal, positive for hsv 1 and 2.

She called me at in in opportune time (hubby was right there), I had a hard time explaining that in a round and about way.

And she seemed kind of cold....said it means I have antibodies to it, that was exposed to it somewhere during my life.

No education, no how to handle disclosure talk...just basically have s nice day....urgh

[Bambina3]

I just thought this was an interesting study to share about disclosure, some of you might of already read it

 

http://m.jid.oxfordjournals.org/content/194/1/42.long

[WCSDancer2010]

THANK YOU for that last link. It's much needed ammo to give to Dr's to get them to test :)

 

The median time to HSV-2 acquisition was greater among participants whose partners disclosed that they had genital herpes, compared with participants whose partners did not disclose their status (270 vs. 60 days; P=.03).

 

That's HUGE. And to be honest, I think that the 270 could be a LOT bigger if you educate both partners about how to prevent passing it on.

 

As for your Dr's reaction -

 

1) it's not up to them to teach you how to disclose.... they just diagnose.

 

2) As you know, H isn't a big deal to them.... compare it to Cancer, or Mental Illness, or maybe Chroans disease and the like, and H is small peanuts. That said, they need better education about the emotional impact.... something I hope to work on once my life becomes my own again. Right now my focus is on my father so my campaign plans are on hold but I'm still formulating how I want to make that happen when the time comes and I can put my energy into it.

[WCSDancer2010]

Actually, I realized that is the Oxford Journal ... in the UK they don't dispense antivirals nearly as much as they do here so I'm pretty sure if they did the same study here, the numbers would be higher than 270 ... but that's just a guess....

[Bambina3]

The next thing,I specially asked them to correspond with me via my cell phone, that's it...I wanted nothing sent to my home for fear of exposing my diagnosis

Well they sent a letter, addressed to me, who is to say someone in my house wouldn't open it, it has no return address name....it was a letter with my diagnosis, and information on h ,

Does anyone know if that's standard?

I have to call and complain in am.

[Bambina3]

I did call the clinic about the letter I received in the mail...I was told it was mandatory that they mail one if there is a positive result on any testing....

I was not aware of that.

[Bambina3]

Talk of disclosure

This is still bothering me

I have disclosed to 2 people only, both long time close people in my life of 25 plus years.

While talking with the 1, girlfriend, I told her ironically I had worried about contracting an std from the ex affair....her reply

"He might not of had one, but he probably does now"

Slap, feel the sting

[hippyherpy]

Bambina, you are 28 years old or you got herpes 28 years ago?

[Bambina3]

I have been living with hsv2 for 28 years, I am in my 40s

Hsv1 I have no idea

[Katidid]

@Bambina3 the two people you disclosed to, were they relationships? Long term? Did theyou remain H-?

[Bambina3]

The one was the man that took my virginity, we broke up for a while, then got back together...it was during that time one of us (I think me) contracted h and brought it back in to the relationship....he has never been tested, but his current wife has hsv2, so he's certain now he does, he just assumed she contracted from a former boyfriend until our talk.

 

The second one that made that comment above is my female long time bestie.

 

That's it, I have only trusted those 2 with my status other than here.

 

My husband still doesn't know (I hinted but didn't say it and got a rath of negative comments on hsv2) and my ex affair I just walked away from. Did not disclose there either other than my hints.

[Katidid]

Oh ok......so your husband doesn't know? Is he H- that you know of? Very interesting. How do you think he would handle it? I know you have dropped hints that didn't go over well. Jeeze, maybe he has it too....you never know

[MMissouri]

I wanted to comment on your worry about your children. I used my diagnoses to educate my girls on the risks of STDs/STIs. Only my oldest and middle one really grasp what it is, but their opinion of me has not changed. They were fully aware that their dad got cold sores and one made a joke (after a health class informed them of how it was transmitted) that I need to be careful or I will get it also. And I used that opportunity to tell them that I did have it.

 

They are going to love you regardless. And in teaching them the facts, they will be better informed themselves. It will break down that stigma for them also.

 

Of course, you don't have to tell them. Best of luck either way.

[optimist]

@Katidid - I talked to my ex-husband after testing positive for HSV2 and learning I must have had it for at least a portion of our 16 year relationship, whether I came into the relationship HSV2+ or he gave it to me at some point during the relationship. I don't know if he is positive or negative but neither of us ever had symptoms (or recognizable symptoms, at least). My understanding is that a minority of HSV2+ and GHSV1+ people are aware of their positive status, just like most people with HSV1 in their mouths don't have lots of cold sores all the time that alert them to their positive status.

[Katidid]

Ok, ok. It's so interesting that people can have this and never know. I often wonder if my hubby falls into that category. He has never been tested, but has never had any symptoms after 20 yrs. I would like to think he doesn't have it and using condoms all these years and not having sex during an ob have kept him safe.

[Bambina3]

We did not use condoms, and my husband has never been tested....however, after reading, seeing pictures, and knowing my diagnosis of 1 and 2, I am 99.9 percent sure he has at least hsv2.....I've seen him have an ob, and he went to Doctor, I think he was mis diagnosed..

I promised myself I wouldn't see him suffer so he can get proper treatment, if I learn of another ob, I will send him for testing and treatment and deal with the consequences.

I've had affairs, and as stated in this thread have not been forth coming about my diagnosis...to any of them. Hinted and walked away.

I still continue to struggle with all this.

[Bambina3]

I'm sure most know already but the Westover Clinic has closed their doors....Terri Warren will continue to do her forum, phone consults, video, but nothing in person.