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Coping with herpes

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Hello all,


I was diagnosed with the illness 8 months ago and still haven't properly come to terms with it. In fact I think I'm only just emerging from the 'denial' stage and now it's time for me to face reality. I think that the hardest thing about the illness is the psychological effect it has on you. From all this I realised I can trust only one person, and for that I'm grateful but I have several close friends that don't know and I have no idea how I would go about telling them. I feel so alone in all of this. Would anyone like to talk?

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Hey haver,

Look around you here in the forum, you are DEFINITELY not alone :)! First of all, you need to stop calling this an illness...it really is just a skin condition, and the sooner you come to terms with that, the better things will be ;). To me, an illness sounds like something your going to pass away from....herpes is not going to kill you, not even close. It's a way for your body to tell you when something isn't quite right in your life (poor diet, stress, you need more rest, you need to exercise more). When outbreaks creep up on you, h is telling you to start taking care of YOU. Start loving YOU.

I've read just about every discussion on this forum in the past month and a half since being diagnosed and, I'm telling you, there is SO much love, support and information thanks to the wonderful gang here. We are all here to help each other, you are definitely not alone in this, and at some point we have all been feeling what you're feeling. I contemplated suicide when I found out...I cried non stop, thought my world was over. I now feel a little silly admitting that, but after reading the posts here, I know that I am not the only person who felt like that after an HSV+ diagnosis.

Herpes really is an opportunity. It weeds out the people who aren't deserving of our great selves, helps us focus on the positive qualities we possess, and lets us know when we need to take better care of our bodies (AWESOME!). For instance, I am an animal lover, I'm caring, softhearted, a good cook, a great friend, and sometimes, I'm downright hilarious....wanna know one thing I'm not? I'm not herpes, it doesn't define me as a person. I said this in a previous post, and I'll say it to you...What is there to be ashamed of? None of us went out and dragged our nether regions across a herpes rug, it had to come from somewhere. Keep your chin up, read through the posts here...there are so many amazing people here and so much information available to help you sart looking at this in a positive light. Inbox if you ever need to chat!

Big hugs!

Brighteyes ;)

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Wow, Brighteyes! You are inspiring, and your picture is just stunning too.


What a wonderful contribution. I agree with you. As difficult as it has been at times for my to accept, perspective comes with time. In the past two months I have met fellow humans who have had worse situations than myself. One co-worker recently lost a family member to cancer way before her time....I briefly dated a guy who is a cancer survivor... I have a friend who was injured in combat in Afghanistan and recovering... another family member of mine still struggles with PTSD from his service in Iraq. I've lost family and friends from cancer over the years. Other friends have been pressing on through life despite some circumstances I believe are more challenging than H.


I am a smart, accomplished woman with a global and deep perspective on life. I happen to have HSV2. When I remind myself about where H falls in the matrix of pain and suffering that is life for most people inhabiting the earth, I am coming to realize more and more that, although difficult, for me it is a "first world problem." That is, really not a problem, though it certainly feels like a challenge on some days (especially as I get ready to disclose to a person I want to get closer with). But I am starting to believe that if it is "meant to be" with this person, he'll accept it and we will be closer for it.


Please feel free to inbox me as well, should you ever feel like chatting.

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Brighteyes!! I'm so happy that I can relate to you. The first thing I wanted to do when I found out was drive off a cliff. I was in bed for days and cried and cried. It's been 5 months now and I realize it's not close to that. I have heard so many peoples stories of worse things. This is just life. Things happen in life it's how we react. And we are getting an opportunity to truly live and be loving. I'm so glad I found this site. And I needed to read this post today. I've been a bit down the past few days but coming here I always find that urge to keep trucking. Hang in there Haver it does get better we are all here!! Brighteyes and Atlantic thank you for your responses because you helped me as well.

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