Can I still have sex with herpes?

[David_89]

Hello, my name is David and i was recently diagnose with HSV-2 :(. I honestly accepted the fact that i have this because i know that there no way to get rid of it sadly. The only thing that i feel down about is am i able to still have sex?....I have a beautiful girlfriend that i plan on being with for the rest of my life! but i am to afraid to have sex with her because i don't want her to be infected as well. Even though she said she willing to take the risk because she loves me more than anything and that having it doesn't change who i am as a person, i still have doubt about it. :( So can anyone please help me and answer these questions i have?

 

1. What the best way to prevent it from spreading?

2. What is the percentage of spreading it with and without an condom?

3. Can i still receive oral sex?

4. Should i take any medication before and after sex?

 

Thank you in advance :-)

[mr_hopp]

First off, of COURSE you're still able to have sex. Not only that, please do have sex! Don't let having herpes make you paranoid about having sex. You're clearly a man who cares about protecting your beautiful partner. Being cautious doesn't mean being paranoid. And about the questions you have, the handouts on this page will help answer all of those and more for you:

http://herpeslife.com/resources/

 

Thank you for asking and educating yourself. A lot of the stigma comes from ignorance and fear. And please stop using terms like "infecting" ... it makes it sounds like this is some horrible disease. ;) It's a skin rash with a bad rap. Nothing more. And it's still something that is important we try not to spread. But again, nothing worth being paranoid about and assuming the worst like not having sex anymore. Relationships are risky no matter if you have an STD or not. It's a risk to love and it's a risk to have herpes. It's a beautiful risk all around. And it sounds like both of you are willing to take that risk with each other. How beautiful. :)

[cupcake]

I have to admit that I am pretty paranoid considering my partner had no idea he had it and had never had/was not having a breakout when we had sex.

[mr_hopp]

I get it. I understand how you could feel paranoid. But I'm offering that paranoia doesn't help anyone. Cautiousness helps. Knowledge helps. Getting to know your body helps. Caring about your partner helps. In my experience, intimacy can't exist in paranoia. You're still in the beginning stages of understanding this virus, so I understand the wash of emotions and feelings. As you understand herpes more and more and how it interacts with your body, you will be able to protect your partners by having that understanding of yourself. That understanding that your other partner didn't have. Read those handouts and let me know what you think! I tried to make them as simple to follow as possible and condense as much need-to-know information as possible into them.